Page 88 of Our Final Encore

She scoffs. “Because I wanted you to? Because youpromisedyou were going to make things work between us.”

I sigh, closing my eyes and squeezing her hand tighter in mine. “I felt like I was doing the right thing. I fucked everything up, like I always figured I would sooner or later, and I thought staying away was the best thing I could do for you.”

She shakes her head and pulls her hand away, agony shining in her glassy eyes. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Maybe it is, but I swear I was trying to do the right thing. I thought you’d be better off without me here dragging you down. I figured you’d go to college and find someone with a real future, someone that doesn’t come with all of my baggage. Someone that has parents that care about him and siblings that are…still alive. Someone with a normal family that could give you a normal life.” My voice cracks, and I realize I’m probably making a fool of myself, airing out every insecurity I’ve ever had about myself. But it’s all true, all I ever wanted was for her to be happy.

She blinks the tears away from her lashes, and silently studies my face. “All I ever wanted was you. That’s never changed. Maybe you don’t see it, Alex, but to me, you’re perfect the way you are.”

“Can I lay with you?”

She glances down at the hospital bed. “You can try,” she smiles a bit and it relaxes me. Then she scoots over a little.

I perch my body on the edge of the bed as best as I can. I just need to be closer to her.

“I was so fucking scared when your mom called me.”

She shakes her head. “It’s okay. I’m fine.”

“I don’t know if you’re really fine.”

“I am,” she says in her most stubborn Opal-like tone. The one that I absolutely love.

“Did you know this was going on?”

“The nurse at my last appointment told me my blood pressure was a bit higher than normal, but she said not to worry. I didn’t think anything of it, but then my head started hurting really bad today.”

Guilt washes over me as I realize I should’ve been there. I should have been at every single appointment with her, too, but she kept assuring me that she wanted to go alone.

“I was so scared. When I thought something happened to you, or the baby...” I wince.

“We’re okay, Alex.” She forces a smile, but I can see the anxiety still hiding in the blue depths of her eyes.

“I don’t know what I’d do if…” The doctor walks in before I can finish my thought. I assume that’s who she is based on the white coat, anyway. She’s a tall woman that looks maybe ten years older than us, with short brown hair and kind green eyes.

“Opal, I’m Doctor Ryan. And you must be the baby’s father?”

“Yes.” Suddenly it bothers me a bit that that’s my only title here. Not her husband, not even her boyfriend. It feels wrong.

She looks down at the chart in her hands. “Opal, I'm here to talk to you about what comes next. We tested your urine and unfortunately it appears that you do have preeclampsia.”

What the hell is that?My throat suddenly feels tight and scratchy, and that panicky feeling snakes its way back into my bones.

“You’re going to need to be on bed rest for the remainder of your pregnancy, so that means work is off the table. You can get out of bed to go to the bathroom, walk to other rooms when you need to, like to the kitchen for food, but generally you need to be laying or sitting down. You can take one shower per day…”

The doctor continues talking, and I watch as Opal wrestles with the reality that she’ll be stuck in bed for the next twenty weeks. She doesn’t look happy, and I can tell she’s just as worried as I am even if she’s trying to pretend not to be.

“Let me know if you have any questions. We’re going to keep you here tonight and then you can go home in the morning.” The doctor smiles at us both before walking out the way she came.

Opal is silent, the only sound in the room is bottled sitcom laughter from the small tv in the corner.

“I’m sorry this is happening.” I know it doesn’t help, but I feel the need to say it anyway.

“I’m scared.”

I squeeze her hand before lifting it to my lips and kissing her knuckles. “I’m right here, I will be no matter what.”

Her eyes don’t meet mine, instead they’re pointed down at the thin sheet covering half of her body. “I know that things have been kind of…unclear between us,” she says quietly. “But I think we should go back to how it was before. I don’t think I can handle being more than friends with you, Alex.”

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