Page 55 of Our Final Encore

His words from last night stream through my mind.

“I never lied, I always loved you.”

I shake the memory away. It may have meant something to me in the moment, but it doesn’t hold any water today. If he ever really loved me nothing would have played out the way it did.

I pull my phone out of my apron pocket and tap out a quick text to Ian telling him I need to talk to him later. He immediately replies with an innocuous “ok”. Guilt twists in my stomach, I feel like a terrible person.

Somehow I manage to get through my shift without completely breaking down. After doing all of my side work I hang my apron on a hook in the back and clock out, wishing I had more time to decide how I’m going to do this.

I guess there’s only one waytodo it.

I walk toward Ian’s apartment building and sit on the bench that’s directly in front of it, nervously twisting my hair in my fingers as I wait for him to come downstairs.

“Hey,” he greets me casually.

I don’t want to do this, but I know that I need to. Even though we agreed on a no-strings-attached situation, I know that he’s at least been a decent enough guy not to sleep around with other girls while we’ve been seeing each other. It feels bittersweet. I never pictured anything more with Ian, but he didn’t deserve this.

After hesitating for a moment I give him an uncomfortable smile. “I fucked up,” I mutter.

His brow arches and he stuffs his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants before sitting down beside me. “How so?”

Wiping a hand down my face, I let out a deep sigh. “I went home with someone last night. From the bar.” I hope and pray that I won't have to give any more context than that, I don’t know if I have it in me to relay the details. “I’m sorry, Ian,” I say, my voice laced with guilt.

He folds his lips, staring down at the concrete beneath our feet. “Was your ex involved by any chance?”

My stomach dips and my face heats, I flick my eyes up to meet his and immediately I can see that he already knows the answer.How did he know?I nod awkwardly.

He shrugs, “I kinda saw that coming.” His face is nonchalant, but his eyes don’t meet mine. As far as I can tell, though, he couldn’t care less. I almost feel offended.

“What do you mean?”

“I always knew you were holding a torch for the guy. It’s why I didn’t bother letting this go any further. I mean, you’re a great girl, but I knew if he ever came back you’d leave me even if wewereserious. I didn’t want to put myself through the painof being your second choice.” His brown eyes flick over to mine before looking away again.

Guilt and remorse swirl together in my gut. I have no idea if what he’s saying is true, or if he’s just trying to make me feel worse, but either way it’s working. Maybe I should have given him a fair chance, a real chance. I never even tried to open my heart up to him.

“Honestly, it’s okay.” He scratches the back of his neck nervously. “There’s someone else I’ve been thinking about asking out, I wasn’t sure how to tell you.”

The guilt I was feeling quickly evaporates. “Oh.”

“Like I said, Opal, you’re great. You’re cute, smart. But let’s face it, we aren’t really compatible.”

I nod and take a deep breath, knowing that what he said is probably true. It shouldn’t hurt me in the least, but somehow it still feels like a rejection. I think at this point I’m just tired of feeling rejected so many times in my life, regardless of the source.

“You’re right,” I nod. “I hope we can still be friends.”

A small smile stretches over his lips. “Of course, I’m always here for you.”

I feel better, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I was expecting that to be a lot worse.

We hug, and it doesn’t feel weird or awkward at all, in fact it feels more normal than any contact we’ve shared in the past. I always knew we were better as friends, I just felt like I needed someone to combat the loneliness with. He deserves better than that, and I hope this other girl will give him whatever it is he’s looking for.

THIRTY-FIVE

Alex

After unloading everything I need from my van, I lug my guitar case and other equipment with me as I walk down the street toward the bar. Main street has changed quite a bit since I lived here. What used to be boarded up storefronts are now vibrant shops and restaurants. Somehow Willow Grove has become somewhat of a tourist town. The main attraction is the wildflowers that pop out every spring, so I assume the town is quiet most other times of the year. Right now, though, downtown is bustling with people carrying bags of souvenirs and to-go boxes from the overpriced barbecue joint down the road.

Despite the boom in the economy, Hondo’s is still the only bar, and therefore the only real place where I can play music unless I want to drive over an hour away. I’ve considered finding a steadier day job, maybe then I could rent a small place and wouldn’t have to be with Dad 24/7. I’d still be around to help him, but we wouldn’t be stuck in each other’s personal space all the time.

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