Page 24 of Our Final Encore

She laughs a little bit. “I just wanted to meet you, I knew you two were friends.”

Part of me already knew that, and I feel like the biggest dick on earth for falling for it. I shake my head and rake my hand through my hair. “Well that’s kind of fucked up in and of itself, Brooke. Oh and also, I wouldn’t give a single fuck if they were lesbians. There’s nothing wrong with being gay.”

Her eyes are narrowed into tiny slits, and I can feel the vitriol radiating off of her. “Um, yeah there is. It’s gross.”

My tongue suddenly feels heavy, my palms clammy, and my stomach clenches. “What if I was gay? You’d think I was gross?”

She slowly opens her eyes wider before looking around like she’s afraid someone around us might have heard me. “What?”

“I like guys.Andgirls. If you have a problem with gay people then this isn’t going to work.” It feels like I’ve vomited the words out. I don’t think I even meant for them to come out.

I’ve never said those words out loud before. Not ever. Not even when I was alone. I’ve hardly allowed myself tothink about them. But something about this situation forced them out of me, and now they’re out there. I can’t grab the words and shove them back into my head, even though I wish I could.

She shakes her head and looks like she’s about to throw up, or cry. Part of me actually feels kind of bad now, it’s not like I wanted to hurt her. “You’re a fucking creep,” she whisper-shouts. There’s venom in her words, and I can tell that she means them. “Never speak to me again,” she says before picking her bag up from the ground and walking towards the changing room.

What the hell did I just do?

FOURTEEN

Alex

Walking into school the following Monday was my version of a living hell. Word travels fast in a town as boring as this one.

All of the friends I thought I’d had suddenly vanished, either turning their backs on me or joining in with throwing slurs my way. I have a thick skin and I’ve never really given a shit what people think of me. But I can’t deny that going from comfortably popular to suddenly being an outcast doesn’t feel great.

I pass by the lunch table I would usually sit at, the one where Brooke and her friends eat. I don’t miss the chorus of “eww’s” and giggles as I walk by. Dating her was the biggest mistake of my life, and I feel stupid for not noticing the red flags a long time ago. Not only did she fuck my life up, dating her destroyed my friendship with Opal. Well, I kind of did that myself, but she didn’t help.

We haven’t talked in over a month, at some point our constant texting dwindled into radio silence. Glancing around the cafeteria, my eyes somehow instinctively meet hers. I’m tooashamed to walk over there. What would I do? Pretend like these past several months never happened, and that I wasn’t a total jackass?

Her gaze doesn’t pull away from mine, and her lips lift into a slight smile. She blinks at me twice. I try to decipher what it means, although it’s probably meaningless. She probably pities me, I’m sure she’s already heard the rumors that are flying.

Not only is it out that I’m bi, people are making up complete bullshit stories to embellish the drama. Saying that I cheated on Brooke with a guy, that I have STD’s, and other stories I’d rather not revisit right now. None of it is true. I’m not a cheater, even though Brooke clearly wasn’t worth being faithful to anyway.

Opal nods at the seat beside her, her eyes still glued to mine. I slowly walk over, my hands in my pockets. I definitely don’t feel like eating today so I didn’t bother grabbing a tray.

Her table is nearly full, on the other side of her is her best friend, Maisie. Across from them there are two guys, I think they’re the same dudes that they were hanging out with at the lake the other day.

“Hey,” I say only to her.

“You wanna sit with us?”

“Sure, thanks.” I settle into the seat next to her, taking a deep breath. The two guys across from us give each other a wary look, but then one of them asks me what’s up in a friendly enough tone. Maybe they aren’t the douchebags I assumed they were.

The four of them carry on with their conversation for a while, and I sit there silently, wondering what’s next for me. I’m sixteen already, I could just drop out if I really wanted to. Maybe I should, it’s not like college is in my future anyway. I don’t have the grades, nor the discipline for it. And honestly, I’ve never had the desire.

“Are you okay?” Opal whispers only to me, I lift my eyes to meet her pale blue stare that’s filled with concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I nod.

Her brows crinkle, and I can tell she’s worried about me. I don’t deserve it. She softly places her hand on top of mine beneath the table and squeezes it lightly. Her touch feels like fire on my skin, I missed it so damn much and I didn’t even realize it until now.

I wonder if touching me has any effect on her, if it does I can’t tell.

After the bell rings and the rest of the table scatters away towards their classes, she keeps sitting there with me in silence for a moment.

“I heard what happened.”

“I’m sure,” I say gruffly.

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