Page 15 of Our Final Encore

My whole life Mamaw has told me to be careful around boys, she even gave me ‘the talk’ in sixth grade, explaining the importance of birth control and that if I’m smart I’ll wait until marriage. Probably sooner than most people have that conversation, but I guess after my mom’s teen pregnancy she felt that she couldn’t be too careful.

Thirty minutes later we’re walking back home, snow cones in hand. Mine is starting to melt and drip down my arm.

“Are you nervous for tomorrow at all?”

He shrugs. “Not really. It’s just school.”

That’s one area where he and I differ so strongly. He never feels anxious, or if he does it certainly doesn’t show. “But it’s a bigger school with more people. And harder classes. And what if I get lost because I can’t find the right class? What if people are mean to me for walking too slowly in the hallway?”

He grabs my hand for a second before letting it go, his eyes turned towards me. “You’re being Opal again.”

I roll my eyes. That’s what he says whenever I’m overthinking something, which is pretty much always. I can’t help it, this is just how my brain works. I tend to believe that most people under-think. “Fine, I’ll chill.”

He smiles before taking another bite of his snowcone. “You’re gonna be fine. I already told you, if anyone messes with you I’ll take care of them.”

“Okay, dad,” I say, rolling my eyes again.

His gaze darkens slightly and he looks away.

The concrete in the distance ahead of us is so hot that it looks like water. The sun is beating down on my bare neck, my hair tied up in a messy bun. “Let’s go swimming.”

“Where?”

“The swimming hole? Where else?” It’s been a while since we visited it, actually we haven’t been since last year. This summer has been weird and different. I haven’t felt like myself.

“Okay, let me stop by my house to change. I’ll meet you there.”

After we split up and change into our swimsuits, we meet back up at the swimming hole. There are a few other people here today. At some point our secret spot became not so secret anymore.

I spread out an old blanket on the ground, dropping my backpack onto it and toeing off my sandals before I plop down and lay on my back, soaking up a few rays before I cool off in the water. I’d rather wait for him to get here before getting in.

“Hey,” he says before yanking his shirt over his head and tossing it on the grass.

“Hi,” I drag my eyes down his torso, and suddenly I’m really thankful for the sunglasses on my face. Since when does he have a six pack? I turn my head away from him, nervous that he may have noticed me checking him out.

“Let’s swim. Don’t be lame.”

He moves toward the water and I watch as he disappears into it, completely submerging himself. While his back is turned toward me I hurriedly take my tank top and shorts off, stuffing them into my backpack.

I never felt nervous wearing a swimsuit in front of him before, but now I do.

I step into the water, taking my time to get used to the temperature. When he turns around, raking his hands throughhis hair, I notice his eyes flick from my face to my chest and back up again.

Suddenly I wish I had chosen a different swimsuit. I’m wearing the skimpiest one that I own, and it very clearly reveals that there’s not much boob for it to conceal. I hit puberty about a year ago, at thirteen, but my body still looks like that of a ten year old boy. Tiny boobs, no hips, skinny thighs and wide shoulders.

“Cold enough?” he asks before splashing me.

“Hey! Asshole!” I say before splashing him back.

Most of my anxiety dissipates when I remember; this is Alex, my best friend. The size of my boobs does not and will not ever matter to him.

We spend the rest of the afternoon swimming, laying in the sun, and laughing together, holding onto the last moments before high school begins and everything changes.

NINE

Opal

Iwalk into the first class of my first day of high school, Honors Algebra I. I don’t exactly hate any subject, or at least I try not to because I have to keep my grades high if I want to go to college.

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