Page 43 of A Very Daddy Christmas

“You’re just saying that to comfort me,” I reply. “You didn’t really think this through, did you?”

“What do you mean?” Sebastian asks with a slight frown.

I shrug slightly. “This restaurant date. You didn’t consider what I’d be wearing when you picked me up earlier.”

“No, I did not. And I didn’t care, either,” he replies with a sheepish smile.

“ButIdo. It’s such a nice place and I feel like Raggedy Ann here.”

“Cora, that shouldn’t matter,” Riggs tries to intervene, but I shake my head. “We’re here, that’s what matters. We know you love carbonara, and this place makes the best carbonara in the whole of Colorado. We wanted to treat you to something we know brings you joy.”

It’s so infuriatingly sweet and also a tad out of touch with my current reality. I guess that’s the downside of having so much money. You don’t consider how it affects those who struggle.

“My brother-in-law is out of a job because of Orson St. James and George Hamilton,” I say. “We’re clattering our teeth waiting for an escrow with my sister’s life savings and a whole lot of your money to go through. The bakery is taking constant hits online and throughout the town from Orson and his cronies while you keep lavishing me with expensive gifts and experiences, despite the many times I’ve already told you it’s just too much. I’m overwhelmed. I’m honestly overwhelmed, and it pisses me off because I can’t even enjoy this.”

I need a deep breath after blurting everything out, perhaps a little too loudly, since there are people from neighboring tables now staring at us. I know I shouldn’t care but I do.

Lowering my voice, I deliver the last and most pressing aspect of my pain. “And the worst part is that I have to live our relationship in secret. I can’t shout it from the rooftops, I can’t manifest anything I feel for you because we’d probably be run out of town.”

Silence falls between us. It’s heavy. So heavy it weighs my shoulders down in muted defeat, along with my gaze. Tears prick my eyes, and there’s not enough wine at this table to drown my sorrow.

Sebastian reaches under the table and gives my thigh a good squeeze. “I’m sorry,” he says. “You’re right, we didn’t think this through. I was just so excited to bring you here, I didn’t consider anything you just said.”

“God, it’s not your fault,” I groan, immediately regretting my little meltdown. “It’s just that there’s so much going on all at once and it hasn’t slowed down since that day at the fair.”

“We’re here for you. You know that, right?” Riggs replies, his gaze softening as it lingers on my face. I give him a warm smile, trying to make amends.

These mood swings are killing me. Up and down I go, every damn day. It’s only at night, when it’s just the four of us behind closed doors that I’m able to really be myself. My truest self, naked and unabashed.

“I know,” I whisper. “You’re too kind, too good, and here I am fussing and acting ungrateful. Any girl would kill to have what you’ve given me.”

“You’re not any girl,” Waylan chuckles softly. “You’re complex and dealing with a bunch of crap you shouldn’t have to be dealing with.”

Sebastian nods in agreement. “And we can’t exactly step in and fix everything, either, because that would take your power away from you. We’re tempted to, though. Mind you, we are so fucking tempted.”

“If I need you, I will tell you. I’ll ask for your help,” I say, covering his hands with mine, both now lingering on my thigh. “You’ve already carried me through the worst of it, and you didn’t have to. Which is why every single gesture you make now feels like too much.”

“I get it,” Waylan says. “You’re way too independent and self-sufficient. You didn’t have a choice in this. Life made you that way, and it’ll take time for you to get used to the attention. To receive everything we’re obviously eager to give you.”

“Look at that. We haven’t even gotten our starters and we’re already doing couples’ therapy.” I laugh nervously as the waiter returns with the menus.

The waiter pours each of us a glass of wine after we place our orders. The conversation turns to lighter talk, but as the evening continues, I know in my heart I need to make a break. This is simply too much and too complicated for things to work at this point in my life.

But I can’t say that now. Instead, I try to enjoy my food and the company while my heart slowly breaks from the inside out.

12

Cora

By morning, my decision is made. It’s half-hearted, at best, yet I must go through with it, for everyone’s sake. The guys are already awake and showered, gathered downstairs in the kitchen for breakfast. I get myself and Dario ready, as well, then we both head down to join them.

The breakfast corner looks magnificent.

“Wow, you guys went all out,” I say, taking my seat after setting Dario up at the table. I prepare his plate with a little bit of everything.

“Bacon!” Dario exclaims, and it’s the first thing he digs into, making everyone laugh.

“Get all the energy you need for school,” I tell him. “You’re going to need it.”

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