Page 17 of Myla: The Hawthornes

“Myla,” Cian said quietly, ignoring her. “You know I care about you.”

I let out a choked noise, but I didn’t know if it was from pain or the sheer disbelief that he’d actually spoken the cliché words.

“And,” Lou sang out, her voice laced with irritation. “Now I’m telling you. Leave, Cian.”

“This is between me and Myla,” he argued.

“Huh,” Lou said, stomping toward us. “And here I thought there was noyou and Myla.”

“I’ll see you around,” I said, watching as he looked from one face to the next, his brows pulled together in confusion. “Let’sjust forget the party, yeah? Thanks for taking care of that guy for me. I had it handled, but your way was…a lot more efficient.”

“Don’t leave it like this,” Cian said quietly as I turned toward my room.

“We’re good,” I assured him, waving over my shoulder. “I’ll text you.”

Lou and Frankie laid into him the minute I reached the hallway, but I blocked it out. I was too focused on breathing and walking calmly away from the entire situation.

The humiliation was intense, but I’d been humiliated before, and it wasn’t like Cian would tell anyone. The disbelief was pretty overwhelming, too, but again, I’d been shocked before—it wasn’t as if I wouldn’t get over it.

It was the disappointment that had me closing my bedroom door and stumbling toward the bed, my legs like jelly. I’d spent years assuming that Cian and I would eventually end up together. Years of building a relationship with him, hanging on his every word, adoring him.

I’d gone along with the status quo, figuring that at some point he’d make the first move toward something more. It wasn’t as if the attraction wasn’t there—Cian and I had so much chemistry I could taste it. There was something that kept us just this side of taking the plunge, and I never really knew what it was, but I hadn’t been willing to risk everything.

That instinct had clearly been the right one.

If I hadn’t said anything, maybe I wouldn’t have ended up on my bed, staring blankly at the wall, wondering what the hell I’d just done.

Chapter 4

Cian

“Fuck,” I hissed,climbing off my bike. I wasn’t sure how things had gone so incredibly sideways.

I clenched and relaxed my fists as I walked toward the back door. It was way past the little girls’ bedtime so the house was quiet and dark, but when I stepped inside, the low drone of the TV in the living room warned me that I wasn’t going to be able to lick my wounds in private.

“Where’d you go?” Bas asked, meeting my eyes over the back of the couch. “Myla’s?”

“Waste of time,” I mumbled, walking past him.

“She still pissed at you?” he asked in surprise. “Figured you went over to clear it up.”

“Worse now,” I replied. I left it at that as I headed up the stairs, taking them two at a time until I couldn’t see him anymore.

I wasn’t sure if I was more pissed at myself for completely fucking shit up or at Myla, who’d put me on the spot in front of Frankie and Lou. I’d been hyperaware of them watching us, hanging on every word, and I’d fumbled that shit big time.

Myla had challenged me since we’d started hanging out the year after she graduated high school. Before that, she hadn’t really been on my radar. I’d seen her around plenty, but she was just another kid that came to the clubhouse for family parties. It wasn’t until later that she and her friends had started hanging with the same crowd. We argued all the damn time. If I said the sky was blue, she corrected me. She never let shit go. She wasopinionated. Had a filthy mouth. You never knew what kind of mood she’d be in, and when it was a bad one? Run for fucking cover. But she was also kind. I’d watched her play with her nieces and nephews on the floor for hours. Go out of her way to help her mom with something that she couldn’t care less about personally. She treated old people with reverence and respect. She was the funniest person I’d ever met and could keep up with the shit talking and jokes that her brothers were known for. She made me laugh harder than anyone I’d ever met.

So, it wasn’t that I didn’t want her. That couldn’t have been further from the truth. I fucking craved her. But there were a lot of reasons that jumping into a relationship with her was a bad fucking idea. The fact that her brother was my best friend was just the tip of that particular iceberg.

I also didn’t do well with shit being sprung on me. I never had. After spending my entire childhood waiting for the other shoe to drop, I wasn’t big on surprises.

Myla laying everything out had been one hell of a surprise, even though I’d thought the same shit myself. If I would’ve made my move months ago, it would’ve been clear to anyone around us that she was off-limits. Not just that she was under Aces protection, but that she wasmine.

So, when she’d said it—I choked. Having that shit thrown in my face when I knew the truth of it? Brutal. I hadn’t handled it well.

What I’d wanted to do was throw her over my shoulder and claim her like she was practically begging for. But Frankie and Lou had been watching, and I’d been so stunned that Myla had actually called me a coward and blamed me for that guy hassling her, it was like my brain short circuited. I’d gone into damage control mode and made it worse. All of the logical arguments that played in my head when I was around her and trying not tocross any lines flew out the damn window, and all I could think to do was remind her that I cared about her. I’d fucking choked.

I dropped my phone onto the bed and stared at it, wondering if I should text her. She seemed really upset when she walked away from me, and I hadn’t been able to follow her unless I was willing to walk over her best friends. They’d quickly stepped between me and the hallway, making sure that I kept my distance.

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