Page 145 of Myla: The Hawthornes

“I wanted you as far from it as I could get you.” I swiped my hand through the air. “I never wanted any of Richie’s shit to touch you. If you didn’t know anything, you were safer.”

“But I wasn’t.”

“I know,” I roared.

Myla didn’t even flinch.

“But, if I’d known,” she said.

“What could you have done differently?” I asked quietly. I felt like an asshole for yelling.

“Maybe nothing,” she said. “Or maybe I wouldn’t have been so confused, and I would’ve pulled the nine-millimeter faster. Maybe I would’ve realized that something was wrong sooner. I don’t know.”

I looked at the bruises on her throat. Those were on me.

“You’re right,” I replied.

“I’m always right,” she said tiredly. She walked around me and headed toward the hallway. “I’m going to try and get somesleep.” She paused, her back to me. “Oh, yeah, I got your voicemail.”

She may as well have slapped me. I actually would’ve preferred it.

I waited before following her into the room. I needed a few minutes to get my head together. My hands shook with a delayed reaction, and I sat heavily on the couch, curling my fingers into fists before shaking them back out again.

I’d almost lost her. It had come so close.

If she hadn’t been carrying, he would’ve killed her. I knew it without a doubt. He’d known she was mine, and he’d had a score to settle. He was after Richie, sure, but she’d practically fallen into his lap, and a man like that wouldn’t waste an opportunity.

And I’d been at Saoirse’s dinner, pissed at her for not showing up.

Seconds later, I was out the back door and emptying the contents of my stomach in the yard.

I’d fucked up.

When I was finally sure that there was nothing left, I went back inside. The house was quiet as I shut off all the lights and stopped in the bathroom to brush my teeth. My reflection made me wince. I looked haggard as fuck.

Myla was in bed when I let myself into the room, the blankets pulled up to her chin. For a moment, I just stared.

She’d pulled her hair into a loose braid. I’d never seen her wear it like that before. It made the nape of her neck look so delicate and fragile.

Without a word, I stripped down and crawled in behind her. She wasn’t asleep, but she didn’t acknowledge me when I kissed her shoulder and wrapped my arm around her waist.

Neither of us spoke or slept for a long time, but at some point, I drifted into a fitful sleep.

When I woke up, she was gone.

Chapter 20

Myla

Ididn’t sleepall night. Aunt Molly had given me ibuprofen for the pain and swelling so I’d been comfortable, and Cian’s big body had pressed in against my back, sheltering me.

I should’ve slept. My body needed it.

I just couldn’t seem to shut my mind off. The night played out over and over every time I shut my eyes. The man, Julian, had been scary and clearly unhinged. He would’ve hurt me. I’d done the right thing. Even the agents had told me that I’d done everything right—and I was pretty sure that wasn’t something they were supposed to say.

But I’d still been the reason that a man died.

Eventually, I climbed out of bed and made my way out to the living room. Grabbing a blanket off the back of the couch, I wrapped it around me and went out on the front porch. The sun was rising as I curled up on a chair.

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