Page 76 of Myla: The Hawthornes

“Okay, yeah, we’re dissecting this,” Frankie said after a few moments of quiet. “Whatexactlydid Cian say?”

I broke down the entire situation, and like always, Frankie and Lou had wildly different interpretations of what had gone down. While Lou murmured that Cian had a lot on his plate and was obviously overwhelmed and pulled in a million different directions, Frankie ranted about how she wanted to cut his balls off and make him eat them.

I was somewhere in between.

“I think I need to just give him some space,” I said as they finally wound down. “I mean, he obviously wanted me out of his face. He made that perfectly clear. And even before that, it was pretty obvious that he was trying to let me down easy.”

“I care about you,” Frankie mumbled snarkily under her breath.

“It’s just the back and forth that’s driving me nuts,” I said, throwing my hands up. “He’s so hot and cold. He’s curling up with me in the tent and then telling my dad he was just doing me a favor because I was wasted. Then he’s coming over here to yell at me about going to a party that I hadn’t even heard of, but the minute I tell him to make a move, he retreats and says hecaresabout me. I show up at the hospital and he’s relieved as hell to see me, wants me with him constantly, makes me sleep plastered against him on the couch, then spends the next two days telling me to sleep at the hotel. Jesus! Make up your mind already.”

“What’s this about the tent?”

“I fell asleep alone in the sleeping bag and woke up curled up like two caterpillars in a cocoon,” I replied dryly. “I didn’t mention it?”

“You guys have always been like that,” Lou exclaimed. “It drives me crazy!”

“I know, right?” Frankie said, rolling her eyes. “‘Tonight I’m going to party with Cian and fall asleep in his bed, but two daysfrom now he’s going to go out with someone else, and I’m going to go to a bar so I can flirt with guys.’You two need to figure your shit out.”

“I tried, remember?”

“Well, then—” Frankie sighed. “Maybe it’s time to give up?”

“I don’t want to be with anyone else.”

“That doesn’t mean you need to wait around for his ass,” Frankie said seriously. She smiled sadly. “Because whatever this is? It doesn’t make you feel good. It doesn’t make you happy.”

I nodded and looked at my feet. “It just feels weird to make any decision when he’s already dealing with all of this, you know?”

“Honestly,” Lou said quietly. “I mean this in the absolute nicest way possible, but…heisalready dealing with a lot. Do you think he’ll even notice?”

Her words hit the mark so perfectly that my stomach sank.

“You’re still his friend,” Frankie said. “You know you’ll always be that. You can be there for him…just without the flirting.”

“And waiting for him to call.”

“And sleeping in his bed.”

“Yeah, no more sleeping in his bed. Mixed signals, anyone?”

“No, you’re right,” I said, nodding. “You’re both right. This has gone on long enough.” I let out a shaky breath. “I mean, I’m kind of pathetic at this point, right?”

“You’re not pathetic,” Lou cried.

“A little pathetic,” Frankie joked.

“Why didn’t either of you say something before?” I asked in exasperation, pulling off my hoodie.

“We have,” Lou said, laughing a little. “You just didn’t want to hear it.”

“Okay, that’s fair,” I conceded. “I’m going to fill up my water bottle, grab my last bath bomb, and go wallow now.”

“Oh, no, you’re not,” Frankie said, turning to reach into the cabinet behind her. “We’re watching a movie and drinking…rum.”

“Ew.”

“No back talk,” Lou ordered. “We’ll mix it with juice. It’ll be great.”

---