Page 16 of Worth the Risk

I’m aware of the initial attraction we had to each other. We were seconds away from our tongues in each other’s mouths and tearing our clothes off when she accepted my job offer. I close my eyes, letting my head fall back against my chair as I replay that memory in my head.

I can still remember the smell of her perfume; it was floral with a touch of citrus. Her eyes were wide, her lips partedslightly as her eyes dropped from mine to my lips, then back up again.

“Fuck.”

I groan, rubbing my thumb and forefinger against the back of my eyelids. Five years later and I’m still mentally kicking myself for not kissing her. For not even trying to make her see that it would be worth the risk.

CHAPTER 7

Taylor

“Do you feel like you’re ready to start dating again?”

“Yes. No. Maybe?” I scrunch my nose at Becca’s question, still unsure what exactly is going on in my head. “Ugh, sorry, I don’t know.” I push the remainder of my omelet around on my plate before dropping my fork.

“There’s no right or wrong answer, babe. It’s completely up to when you feel ready.” She wipes her mouth, lifting her cup of coffee to finish it.

“I know. I think that’s the problem, though. I can’t seem to make up my mind. One second I think I am ready, and then I go to download a dating app and it’s like the floodgates open up again.”

“Are you still in love with him?” I offer a one-shoulder shrug, avoiding eye contact. “It’s okay if you are, you know?”

Sheepishly, I lift my gaze. “Maybe. But I don’t think it’s love; that’s what’s frustrating about it. I don’t sit around missing him or have to talk myself out of texting him or anything like that anymore.”

“Maybe regret?”

I sigh, nodding my head slightly. “I think so. Which is… hard.” I fiddle mindlessly with the napkin in my lap. “Nobody ever talks about how hard it is to mourn a life you thought you’d have. Letting go of the images in your head of you and this person living in a house with your kids, raising them together, having a family…”

“Hey.” She reaches one hand across the table toward me and I slip mine into hers. “You know you’re young, beautiful, accomplished, and have plenty of time to find that again. It’s not like we get one shot and if we don’t nail it that first time that’s it.”

“I know.” I squeeze her hand before releasing it. “I just hate myself for giving him so much of me—my time, youth… love.” I roll my eyes, hoping to stop any stray tears before they fall. “Anyway.” I clear my throat. “Enough about all that. Have you guys picked a date yet for the wedding?”

“Not yet. We gave ourselves a deadline of picking a date by the end of this month.”

I glance down at my phone. “That’s less than two weeks. When are you thinking?”

“That’s the issue.” She rolls her eyes. “I want a fall wedding, outdoors with crisp autumn leaves and beautiful golden yellows and oranges. But Hector wants a summer wedding. I’ve tried explaining to him how hot it will be, especially for me in a wedding dress, but he insists we’ll do it early enough in the summer before the heat sets in. He just doesn’t get it.”

“Make him wear a full face of makeup in a floor-length gown outside for fifteen minutes; that should solve the problem.” I offer her a silly grin with my just as silly suggestion.

“I wish. Odds are I’ll get my way; he’s just making it way more difficult than it needs to be. But at the same time, I love how involved he is in planning the wedding. He isn’t one of those guys who just says, tell me when and where to show up, ha, ha, ha.” She uses her best mocking tone and it makes me laugh.

“Men,” I say, shaking my head. “Whenever you guys do decide, just let me know so I can make sure it’s marked in my calendar.”

“As my maid of honor, of course you’ll know the second we decide.”

“Oh, by the way,” I say before I forget as we stand up to walk out of the restaurant, “is Hector’s older brother still looking to leave his firm? I think it’s finally time I hire on a second attorney. The firm has grown into a monster that is taking over my life.”

“He is,” she replies, reaching into her purse to pull out her phone. “Let me send you his contact info. He’s going to be ecstatic to hear from you. He’s an amazing lawyer; he just wants something with a little more work-life balance now that he’s a single daddy.”

“Single? I thought he was married?”

“He was but sadly, she was cheating. It was so awful. He came home early and caught her in bed with their neighbor.”

I gasp, my hand shooting up to my chest. “Oh my God. Poor guy.”

“He’s doing okay. Things have settled down since the divorce was finalized, but I’m sure he would be thrilled to also have a new job so he can spend more time with his daughter.”

Becca and I walk the five blocks to her building where we both say goodbye and I continue on with my day, stopping at a few shops to pick up groceries and necessities for the week.

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