Page 56 of Loco

“Won’t matter, stupid,” Snake laughed. “He ain’t leaving here alive.”

That was the truth. I reached up with the knife and began to slice away at the beautiful lion tattoo Morty had done, relishing in Russ’s muted screams. His body twisted and jerked so I grabbed his belt to hold him where I wanted him. The smell of blood grew stronger with each slice of his flesh and soon blood began to pool beneath his feet on the plastic. Thank fuck for that. Cleanup would be a lot easier.

As I cut, I recognized that I was in the zone, the one where I blocked out the shit that didn’t matter so I could do my job. I vaguely took note of the low murmurs in the room, concentrating on what I was doing. Russ was nothing but skin and bones, the tattoo covered his entire back from shoulder to shoulder, and I was basically skinning him alive.

His tattoo wasn’t the first one I’d ever had to remove.

By the time I was done, Russ was unconscious, and I was covered in his blood. Flaps of skin were piled up beneath his feet, surrounded by blood. It was a fucking mess, and the coppery smell of blood was sickeningly overpowering. It’d been a long time since I’d smelled that.

If we left Russ like he was he would eventually bleed to death, if shock didn’t get him first. At this point I’d done what I wanted to do--inflict as much pain as possible. It was no fun working on a man who’d passed out.

I stepped back and looked down at my bloody hands. “Fuck, I hope there’s a bathroom in here somewhere.”

“Has to be one,” Happy said. “People used to work here.”

I’d have to go looking. As I walked past Cole, he held out his hand for his knife. “Let me wash it first, Brother.” He dropped his hand and I left the room.

Chapter 26

Millie

u dont have 2 worry bout rus anymore

Did I want to know what Loco’s message meant? Probably not, and I hadn’t responded to it. That text had come in twenty-four hours ago, and I hadn’t heard anything else from him. It also explained why Body had taken off shortly after he’d followed me home, and without a goodbye or a single word to say that he was leaving. Did bikers not believe in saying goodbye?

I had a feeling that Loco’s silence was a result of the small mound of panties I’d left on his bed. Surely he’d seen them by now. I guess he didn’t care why I hadn’t been there waiting for him when he’d returned. Or maybe he was smarter than I gave him credit for, and realized that I needed time to calm down, bury the hurt of finding a drawer full of panties that didn’t include mine, and remind myself that he had a past that I couldn’t change.

I couldn’t get past the worry that I wouldn’t be enough for him, though. I was nothing like the women from his past. The fear that he’d grow tired of me left my stomach twisted in knots. I’d fallen for Loco fast and hard, and while he was controlling and possessive, it was in a way that I liked. It turned me on.

I thought about the men from my past. Stuart hadn’t counted, because we hadn’t been romantically involved. But there had been Brian and Ross. Both had been controlling and abusive in different ways. With Brian, the abuse had been mental. He’d discovered my insecurities early on and had used them against me.

With Ross, my last serious relationship, the abuse had been physical. I’d hated myself by the time I’d found the courage to leave him. Getting knocked around on a daily basis had been one of the reasons that I hadn’t been with anyone in the two years since we’d broken up. Also, Brian, Ross and Stuart had all happened in the same year and I’d needed the break and the time to re-evaluate my life and the poor choices I’d made.

I’d always asked myself why I’d allowed Brian and Ross to treat me poorly, and had come to the conclusion that it was because of my upbringing--inconsistency in foster homes, and lack of guidance. I couldn’t blame it all on my foster parents, though. Some had been loving and good to me, but they’d been stretched because they’d filled their homes with too many children.

Then at eighteen I’d been thrown out into a world that was filled with people who had more life experience than I had. Looking back, I was sure that Brian had seen an innocent woman who lacked confidence who he’d thought he could shape into the woman he wanted. I’d been willing to let him at first, thinking that he would make me a better person. It had taken me a while to realize that I was the only one who could make myself better.

Loco wasn’t trying to change me. He wanted me the way I was. That went a long way in my book. And the only time he was physical with me was when it mattered.

My phone buzzed and I grabbed for it, hoping that it was Loco. It was V. Huh, she must have been calling from work, because it was mid-afternoon. Maybe she’d forgotten something. “Hello.”

“Millie!”

I could tell immediately that something was wrong by the tone of her voice.

“I need your help.”

“Of course, honey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

She sighed heavily. “I’m okay. I’m at Bull’s clubhouse. Something awful happened today at work, with his uncle. He, um, passed away. I can’t go into detail right now, but BS is home alone. I left a key under your mat the other day in case something unexpected came up again.” I knew she was referring to the recent lockdown that had been sprung on her. “Sorry I forgot to tell you. Do you mind taking care of her again?”

“No problem, honey.” There was so much sadness in V’s voice, and I knew that if she couldn’t go into detail about what had happened to Bull’s uncle, it must have been bad. Had it been club related? “Please tell Bull I’m sorry about his uncle.”

“I will.”

“Since you left me a key, I’m going to leave BS there, if you’re okay with that. I think she’ll do better staying in her own home.”

“Good idea, honey. Thank you so much!”

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