"Yes."
Fuck. I hadn't expected him to admit it so easily. It frightened me. What about all of his earlier talk about finding a house for us to live in together? Panic rose inside of me, but I was determined not to give in to it. We'd been through a lot together, and I was going to fight for us. In spite of that, my eyes burned with the sting of tears. Too much had happened that day, I was suddenly overwhelmed. I couldn't take any more.
"Can you please break up with me on another day?" I asked outrageously, unable to see him clearly because of the big, fat tears that were clouding my eyes. Deep down I had an idea about why he was feeling that way--he blamed himself for what had happened to me. "Can we please go home now?" I was done.
For a moment we stood in silence. It seemed that Rebel wanted to say something more but was holding himself back. Finally he took my hand and led me out of the house. I tried not to notice what the men were doing, but the glimmering surface of the lake beneath the moon drew my attention to it. It was as if a light bulb were shining down on the water. I turned my head away and focused on where to put my bare feet, crying out when I stepped on something sharp.
"Fuck, baby." Rebel pivoted around instantly and swung me up into his strong arms. "I fucking forgot that you were barefoot." He sounded contrite.
He certainly didn't sound like a man who was about to break a woman's heart.
That small hope stayed with me on the ride home.