Page 81 of Phantom Riders MC: Hawk

Chapter 28

Hawk

I opened the door to my house without knocking. Carol was sitting in front of the ceiling to floor window, staring out at the mountains and sipping what I assumed was tea or coffee. She turned and met my eyes.

“Where is she?”

The smallest quirk to her lips was as close as she came to a smile. “She’s gone.”

My fucking heart stopped, but then I quickly drew in the panic as I realized that Audra hadn’t left the clubhouse more than an hour ago. Where the hell could she have gone in such a short time? Carol’s fucking laugh told me that she’d got me. Bitch!

“How did that feel?” she had the nerve to ask, a knowing smile in her eyes.

“Not good,” I answered honestly.

She shrugged. “Had you come tomorrow it would have been a fact.”

I hadn’t thought it would be so soon. “You’re leaving tomorrow?” She nodded. I sank down into the chair next to her, unable to meet her eyes. The view outside tried to draw me in but I didn’t really see anything. “I fucked up.” I sighed heavily.

Carol didn’t even hesitate. “Yes, you did.”

I chuckled and turned to her. “You sure you don’t need any time to think about that?”

Her expression said, hell no. She took a drink. “You hurt my friend.”

I nodded. “I had my reasons, as fucked up as they are. And for what it’s worth, I never wanted to hurt her.”

“I know. Audra told me you’d warned her from the beginning that you threw women away once you were done with them. She thought it was different for her, though. You sent her mixed signals.”

How could I fucking respond to that? I had sent her mixed signals. Christ, when had I become such a pussy? I’d never had a hard time making a club decision, in anything, and usually once I made up my mind that was it. Nothing changed it. Why was it so fucking hard to do with Audra?

Carol stared at me long and hard. “She told me about everything your club has done for her, Hawk. You probably saved her from a fate worse than death. Thank you for that.”

I released a long breath and nodded in acknowledgement. “I didn’t save her from Fuller.” I clamped my jaw tight, hating that she’d had to go through that. I’d always understood why some of my brothers refused to take old ladies, but the reality was fucking worse. Seeing Audra hanging there, covered in blood had fucking broken me. Even closing my eyes didn’t make the image go away.

“You’re being too hard on yourself, Hawk.” I met her brown eyes. Carol was a pretty woman. She wore minimum makeup, her brown hair cut in a kind of shaggy look that suited the shape of her face. “Could anyone have saved her from that madman?”

“He took her because she was with me.”

She nodded with understanding. “So you believe pushing her away will keep something like that from happening again? Very noble reasons, Hawk.” I got pissed at that, but she continued before I could grunt out a response. “So, did you come to say goodbye…again?”

No, I was done saying goodbye to the woman I wanted. “I came to say goodbye to you.” I made sure she fucking understood that. “Audra isn’t going anywhere.”

“You’ve changed your mind?” I could hear the relief in her tone. She seemed to think about that for a while. “Good thing I only purchased a return ticket for me.” I raised my brows at her comment, surprised at her admission. “So, are you gonna go all He-Man on her?” The glimmer in her eyes backed up the humor that I detected in her tone.

I decided I could like Carol if she hung around for a while. “Do I need to?”

She laughed softly. “You might. She came back swearing and crying, muttering under her breath about chopping off someone’s balls for being so stubborn.” Carol hesitated before ending with, “I think the name Sid was mentioned.” She got up from her chair and I watched her walk to the kitchen.

Fuck. Having Sid on my lap hadn’t been my finest move, and had been a fucked-up way of pissing off Audra enough to make her walk out the door and not come back. I’d taken the easier road to make her run, and the most damaging. I ran my hand over my face as if it would wipe the shit away and make everything clear again.

Movement outside the window drew my gaze to see Audra stepping out from the trees surrounding the property. She’d apparently gone for a walk. A few steps behind her Painter emerged. He saw me watching them from behind the glass immediately, but didn’t let on that I was there. Audra continued to walk until she turned the corner of the cabin and was out of sight.

I sucked in a deep breath and got to my feet.

I knew what I had to do.

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