Page 79 of Phantom Riders MC: Hawk

The next thing I knew Hawk grabbed me by the arm and hauled me to my feet. “I told you to leave.” He was breathing like an enraged bull. “No one wants you here. I don’t want you.”

I don’t want you.

His words cut like a knife. They sounded so sincere, and I faltered with indecision for a second. The look on Hawk’s face backed up his hateful tone, and I couldn’t help thinking that maybe he was over me. That maybe I’d misinterpreted the reason he’d ended things between us in the hospital. All of a sudden I felt defeated and sad, still holding out hope that my actions with Clay would force Hawk to realize that he felt more for me and couldn’t turn me loose.

All I’d proven was that he didn’t even like me.

As I stared into his strong, chiseled face, tears filled my eyes, but I decided I’d get through this with some dignity and straightened my shoulders, forcing a little smile on my mouth. “Well, I guess that says it all. I want to thank you, Hawk, for everything. I hope you can find someone who’ll make you happy one day.” I barely recognized the husky rasp of my voice. I was about to break into a thousand tiny pieces and figured I had about ten seconds to get out of there. “I’ll leave Carol’s number at your house. As soon as you let me know what I owe you, I’ll see that you get it.”

“Don’t leave any fucking phone number or address, let’s just call it even. Besides, the trouble you brought us paid out in the end.”

I wasn’t sure what Hawk meant by that, but there was nothing else for me to say. “I guess that’s it then.” I paused, reluctant to leave. His message couldn’t have been any clearer. He was done with me. “Take care, Hawk.” I wasn’t sure if he heard me, but I didn’t care.

I turned and left before he could see my tears.

****

Hawk

I was a real prick for treating Audra that way, but it was for the best. She’d be better off without me. Safer. As soon as Painter had called saying they were on their way to the club I’d set the scene to cause the most damage. The look on her face when she’d seen Sid gyrating on my lap like a bitch in heat would haunt me. In a heartbeat, I’d destroyed anything she’d felt for me, including her trust. Her anger hadn’t surprised me, but the sadness in her eyes had ripped through my fucking heart.

I’d done the one thing I’d swore I wouldn’t do to her. I’d hurt her.

I hadn’t laid a fucking finger on Sid before today. No one got to me like Audra, and her fucking tight little body. I didn’t want anyone else but her. My dick didn’t want anyone but her, but he was going to have to get used to her being gone. The situation with Fuller had come out of nowhere, and I hadn’t been able to protect her. Fuck, Winthrop had gotten his hands on her, too, thanks to a brother’s betrayal. Yeah, she would be much better off without me in her life.

“You’re an asshole, brother.”

I’d been waiting for Rock to come over and say his piece. I knew how he felt. He’d done the same thing to a woman years earlier and had expressed regret over it, especially once he’ learned that he’d sent her away pregnant with his child. He’d made an attempt to work it out but she’d simply disappeared. The incident had shaped him into the mean, cold bastard that he was today.

Releasing a heavy breath, I nodded my agreement and finished off my beer. Sid moved to take up where we’d left off, and I pushed her away. She stumbled off with a huff, but she knew the score.

“What, not gonna defend yourself?” he asked gruffly.

I shrugged. “I had my reasons.”

He gave me a long, hard look, making me wonder how far he’d go before I had to hit him. “You know, brother, I’ve been wondering something.”

“What’s that?”

“Why you feel that you don’t deserve happiness. You let one woman destroy you, and another, a good woman, comes along and you throw her away. I’d never have pegged you for a fucking martyr−”

I’d heard enough. I punched Rock right in the mouth, hard enough for him to swing around and slam to the floor. With fisted hands I glared down at him, watching him wipe the blood away with the back of his hand. Damn if there wasn’t amusement in his eyes as he looked up at me.

“Don’t get up,” I warned.

“I, more than anyone, know that you’re making a fucking mistake, brother. That girl’s been through hell, and she still came back for you. That should mean something.” He didn’t move from his spot, but I knew it wasn’t because he was afraid of what I’d do to him. Knowing Rock, he wanted to make sure he spoke his mind before I busted him in the mouth again. “How many brothers have lost women because they ran?”

Someone snorted and I looked around the room. “How many of you brothers sent a woman packing because you didn’t want her hurt?” We all had our reasons for not wanting old ladies. A few brothers shrugged, but no one owned up to anything. I glanced smugly back at Rock.

“They left scared.” Christ, he wasn’t backing down. “I don’t see your woman running away scared. Pissed maybe, hurt, but not scared. If I had a woman like that−” He stopped abruptly and we both knew why.

“Then you go after her,” I snarled, wondering why we were even having this discussion. “Women are only good for one thing, brother, and they all have tits and pussy.” I’d actually used to believe that shit.

“Well, since you feel that way, maybe I will. I bet she tastes real sweet, too. Is her pussy as red as the hair on her pretty little head?”

The unwelcome vision Rock had conjured up in my head of him eating out her pussy and of them fucking made my blood come to a rolling boil. I knew that he was planting the reality of another man claiming Audra to piss me off. I felt an irrational rage rise to the surface, challenging me to draw back and not let it grip me into doing something that I couldn’t undo. Like knocking all of Rock’s teeth down his fucking throat. “You get up before I leave this room, and I’ll send you to the hospital.”

It wasn’t an idle threat. I knew it, he knew it. The man had balls, it’s why he was a damned good VP. His laughter followed me as I stomped from the room. Fuck, I didn’t want anyone to have Audra but me, but I’d sent her away like a fucking coward. She deserved better. She deserved to feel safe and to have a normal life. Her friend Carol would help her with that.

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