Page 76 of Phantom Riders MC: Hawk

“Now we know why Fuller’s been after us all these fucking years. The bastard must have been planning this shit for a long time.”

Yeah. None of that fucking mattered right now. I knew Rock was just talking to fill in the time, but he wasn’t saying anything I hadn’t already thought to myself. I was only sorry that Audra had been sucked into this mess. As much as I wanted her, this situation convinced me that I needed to let her go. She’d be a lot safer away from the club, away from me. It was going to hurt like hell sending her away, but it would be better than going through something like this again, and it could happen. This was our life, and anyone involved with us was vulnerable.

I thought about Lynch and Stone and their old ladies. Wild Marauders and Dark Menace was outlaw clubs like ours. They’d had their share of trouble involving their women, but their old ladies came from tougher stock than Audra. They’d grown up in rougher neighborhoods, were a little more street savvy. Audra—

Audra moaned, interrupting my thoughts. I glanced down to find that the shirt I was holding against her side was saturated with blood. “Where is that fucking ambulance?” I growled, looking up at Rock. “She’s gonna bleed out.”

“Calm down, brother. I can hear them.”

He was right. Five minutes later Clay and Big John rushed into the room with the paramedics’ right behind them. I moved out of the way as they pulled their gurney up against the bed. “Bout fucking time,” I snapped.

They ignored me. I’m sure that they got that kind of reaction all the time. “What do we have?” one of them asked. He was already peeling back the shirt that covered her. The other one began taking her vitals.

“She was beaten and cut in several places.”

He frowned, examining the worst of the slashes. “Do you know what she was cut with?”

“Looks like he used this.” Rock handed him a bloody, uneven piece of glass. I hadn’t even seen him pick it up.

The other paramedic pulled his equipment away and crammed it back into his case. His actions were hurried. “Pressure’s dropping fast, let’s get her into the ambulance. We can work on her on the way to the hospital.” His partner nodded and they began to move rapidly, without speaking, their actions revealing that this was a process they’d honed and performed many times before.

As they were settling Audra on the gurney, Chief Branson walked into the room. I saw his gaze dart over to Fuller. We hadn’t made any attempt to move his body, because as far as I was fucking concerned, his killing was justified. Branson’s gaze then went to Audra, wincing as she was wheeled out of the room. I didn’t hesitate to follow.

“I have questions.” Chief Branson said, making the mistake of stopping me with a hand on my arm.

“Take your fucking hand off me,” I snarled. “My brothers will fill you in.”

I didn’t have time for his shit. All that mattered was getting to the hospital to be with my woman.

****

Five weeks later…

Audra

“Here’s your coffee, honey.”

I smiled up at Carol, taking the mug from her. Carol had been my angel during the weeks of my recovery, the surgery, the healing, the grieving, because, yes, I’d also had to deal with losing Hawk. In the beginning he hadn’t left my side, sitting at my bedside and holding my hand for two weeks as I slowly healed and regained my strength. But something had felt off, different. He’d been quieter than usual, and when he did speak he seemed to choose his words carefully, and he avoided my eyes. I felt him withdrawing from me, but tried to convince myself that I was imagining it because he was there, by my side, where I needed him.

Once he’d been assured that I would make a full recovery and the day finally came for me to be released from the hospital he’d broken my heart and kissed me goodbye. Well, not exactly in that way. First he’d explained in carefully chosen words just why we weren’t going to work out. And while I knew it was bullshit, I’d sat there and listened to every word, unwillingly accepting that he might be right.

I chalked up my compliancy to the situation and the drug-induced calm that I was floating in. In time the meds wore off and my thoughts cleared, making room for other emotions, anger being at the tip of the list, but Hawk hadn’t been around to take it out on.

Yes, he’d arranged for Carol to come and take care of me, had given us the use of his home for as long as I needed it, and had arranged for round the clock protection so that he could stay away. During my two week stay in the hospital he’d been there, in body if not in spirit, and the minute I was released Carol had flown in. That had been three weeks ago, and I knew she needed to get back home. Her husband was going to be understanding for only so long. Plus, I was back to a hundred percent.

Almost.

Time would fade the scars.

But not my broken heart.

I wasn’t exactly sure what I felt for Hawk, but I knew it was intense and all-consuming. As he’d withdrawn from me I’d watched helplessly as he put up walls again, surrounding his heart with stone, guarding his emotions. He hadn’t said it, but I’d known I’d come close to dying, and that was the problem. Hawk was tough, hard as nails, brutal at times, but he didn’t want to deal with the reality that was life. Nothing was guaranteed and people came and went, leaving you to grab what happiness you could.

Yes, I’d almost died. But I hadn’t, and while I sat there in that hospital bed, listening to him tell me that I’d be safer by going away, that he didn’t deserve me, I’d wanted to scream and throw things. I should have been the one running, not him.

“You’re thinking about Hawk again, aren’t you?”

I glanced up at her sympathetic smile. “I’m going to rename you ‘Angel’,” I said, taking a sip. “I don’t know what I would have done without you these last few weeks. Thank you for coming.”

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