Page 5 of No Mercy

The last time I’d seen her she’d told me that she never wanted to see me again, that I didn’t deserve her or the baby she was carrying. The fact that she’d left Maine revealed just how serious she’d been about that. I couldn’t exactly blame her. The words I’d thrown at her that day had been said in anger and had cut deep. I’d been too stupid to realize the gift she was giving me, instead accusing her of trying to trap me.

The Allie I knew would never have done that, but the damage had been done.

I swung away from the room and headed back out to the main part of the house. I’d come back later.

Allie

As soon as I opened the door of my house I came to a stop, sensing that something was different. My gaze darted around the tiny eat-in-kitchen and the living room, trying to determine what it was. Nothing looked out of place. I didn’t hear anything, yet the hair at the back of my neck stood on end, a clear indication that I should probably back out the way I’d come and call the police. But the longer I stood there without anything happening, the more convinced I was that it was just my imagination.

I slowly closed the door and hung my purse up on the coat rack. Locking the door behind me, I continued straight to my bathroom for a shower. I’d been given the opportunity to work another double, but had bowed out for a change. If I hadn’t received the nice tip the night before I would have jumped all over it, but I knew that Dolly, who’d only begun waitressing a week before, needed the money too.

I was looking forward to a nice, quiet evening at home with Sam, and had about an hour before Becky would drop him off. The private school that our kids went to didn’t have busses, so a couple of us got together and car pooled each day. I drove Sam and her two boys, David and Mack, to school in the mornings, while she picked them up.

Sam had been wanting a movie night. Tonight would be perfect. After he got home, got his bath and ate his dinner, we could make popcorn and would settle down for the night. Maybe I’d invite David and Mack to join us, too. They were all close in age, and Sam had spent the night at their house before.

Thinking about an evening ofNinja TurtlesandJake and the Neverland Pirates, I turned off the water and wrapped a towel around my body. As soon as I stepped into my bedroom my gaze landed on the toy that was lying on my bed, and then on my nightgown, which was strewn in a way that I didn’t remember doing. I hadn’t noticed them before going to my bathroom. Frowning, I moved toward the bed and picked up the transformer. Sam must have come into my room before we’d left for school this morning. That was the only thing that made sense.

Shrugging, I went to my dresser, removed a pair of shorts and a tank from a drawer, and quickly slipped into them. I whipped the towel from my hair before pulling it into a ponytail and securing it with a scrunchie. It was long, even in a ponytail it fell to my waist. Rock had always said that he loved my long hair and I supposed that’s why I’d never cut it. I’d dyed it black for a while, just for something different, but I’d finally let it go back to its natural dirty blond.

I tried not to think about Rock. You’d have thought that as more time had gone by that it would get easier, but it wasn’t. I’d been so in love with the stubborn outlaw, convinced that he was what I needed, sure that I was what he wanted. Getting pregnant had been a big surprise to both of us, because Rock had always insisted on using a condom. I guess that was why it had been so hard for him to accept that the baby I was carrying was even his. And for him to accuse me of being unfaithful…that had crushed me.

When I’d first left him I’d been so hurt and broken that I hadn’t cared if I ever saw him again. I’d only been eighteen at the time, and I realized now that I’d acted childishly by the way I’d handled the situation. We’d both had said some hurtful, hateful things to each other that day. I’d left the clubhouse and gone back to my apartment. After months had gone by and he hadn’t shown up I’d made the decision to leave, leaving a note for him with the landlord just in case. I’ll probably never know if he received it.

The sound of my cell ringing from the other room interrupted my trip down memory lane, and I rushed to retrieve it from my purse. My first thought was that it was Becky saying that they’d be late, but when I glanced down at the name it read, “Tom”. Smiling, I answered it. “Hi, you.”

“Hi, doll. What are you and Sam doing tonight?”

“I think we’re going to have movie night after dinner. I might invite Becky’s boys to spend the night. Why, you want to join us?” I joked. Tom was good with Sam, and he understood that my son came first.

“A boys sleep over?” he joked back. “Gee, I haven’t been invited to one of those in like, thirty years. I don’t know if my poor back can handle the floor anymore.”

I laughed. “I do have an alternative.” He got quiet for a minute, and I could just imagine what he was imagining. “Don’t get too excited, though. It’s the sofa.”

He snorted and said mockingly, “Whew! That’s a relief. You had me scared there for a second. I had this terrible image of having to spend the night in your bed.”

“Ha! Ha!” I said lightly, knowing that Tom would like for our relationship to move on to the next level. He was so patient and understanding, and I wondered whether or not I was being fair to him. He meant a lot to me, but I saw him more as a friend, which I was sure he wouldn’t be happy to hear. Maybe in time…

“Not that I’d do much complaining,” he added after a while.

I decided to change the subject, which was making me uncomfortable. “Do you want to join us for the movie?” I knew that he usually worked until six. “I can save you some dinner.”

“Bribery will get you everywhere.” I could hear the smile in his tone. “What are we having tonight?”

“I’m thinking about homemade pizza.”

“God, you know I love your homemade pizza. Okay, you got yourself a deal, doll. I’ll be there around seven.”

“See you then.” I hung up, returning to my thoughts about our platonic relationship.

Tom really was a nice man. Why couldn’t I feel a spark of awareness with him? The few times that he’d kissed me had been nice, but that was all. No fireworks. No belly flutters. No arousal in my core. Nothing. Just a nice, platonic kiss. Maybe he was too tame for my taste. I’d never thought about it before, but maybe what I wanted was a take-charge man, someone with the arrogance and confidence to just take what he wanted, while knowing how to make me swoon inside as he was ravishing me.

Like Rock.

No! No! No! I didn’t want someone like Rock. He’d been a hard-core bad ass who’d rode right in on his big, loud Harley, and had swept me off my feet. The second our eyes had met at the bar I’d been at with my friends, everything about him had overwhelmed my life. He’d rushed me off my feet. He was big, mean, and rough, and yet in his arms I’d experienced the most intense physical and spiritual pleasure I’d ever had. His kisses had curled my toes, the smoldering look in his eyes had scorched me, his filthy promises of what he was going to do to me wet my underwear faster than five minutes of watching the steamiest porn. He’d taken me and claimed me in every way, and I had loved every breathless second of it.

I’d loved him, so fast and so hard that it had frightened me.

God, why did I compare every man to him? It’d been almost seven years since I’d left him. Seven years that, without Sam, would have been hard to get through. Sam had saved me from the loneliness. He saved me from feeling sorry for myself because he was so good, so perfect, a smaller, softer version of Rock. I was lucky to have him.

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