Page 3 of No Angels

“What do you mean, why am I here? And it’s not going to be mediocre. It’ll be the best Christmas pageant ever.”

I crowd her against the half-built scaffolding. “I mean why are you here when you have a life in the city? You were a Broadway star and you left it all behind and came home to this mountain town in the middle of nowhere. I’m not buying your story. Adding this little escape to your resume won’t do you any favors and we both know it.”

She’s flustered. Her cheeks are bright pink and her breaths whistle over my shoulder in rapid little puffs of distress.

“I’m here because my mom needed me here while she fights for remission.”

“That’s not the only reason. It’s been over ten years since you even bothered to visit. I was the one who made sure she got the harvest in, fixed the roof on the barn and made sure she had kids to work at the feed store every summer. Now tell me what made you tuck your tail between your legs and come scurrying back here. According to your boyfriend you couldn’t leave us all behind fast enough.”

She narrows her eyes. Like I have no right to demand explanations.

“If I have other reasons for being here, you’re not entitled to hear them. They’re none of your business. And I don’t have a boyfriend.”

My heart irrationally kicks up at her admission. I wonder what happened to the douchebag that answered her phone all those years ago. Has he been out of the picture for a while? Has she had a string of boyfriends or is she serially monogamous like me?

I want to dip my head and smell the little crevice behind her ear. I need to know if she still smells like lilies of the valley.

I smother the urge and narrow my eyes right back.

She frowns and crosses her arms, rubbing her hands over her elbows.

When she bites her lip, I want to soothe it with my tongue.

“I know I was selfish. But Mom never asked me to come back. Every time I called she told me how proud she was of me. She always deflected the conversation away from her own worries.”

“And you didn’t push her for answers because your career was more important to you than your family. Or anyone else in Willow Creek.”

I want to take back the bitter words. I don’t want her to know how much I’ve missed her. She doesn’t need to know that thestrawberry-infused kiss I stole has haunted me for eighteen years. She doesn’t need to know how many times I wished I could pick up the phone and tell the girl who used to be my best friend what was going on in my life.

“Trust me, I’m well aware how much everyone disapproves of me. I agree with them, so you don’t need to keep rubbing dirt in my wounds.”

“I’m not doing that. I just want you to know that the rest of us have been picking up the pieces of debris you left in your wake.” Especially me.

She sighs and drops her arms. “Mom always told me she didn’t want me to get stuck here.”

“That’s how you think of this place?”That’s how you think of me? As a way to trap you somewhere you don’t really want to be?

She shakes her head. “No. Not until we graduated. Even then, I didn’t want to leave.”

“Why didn’t you want to leave?” Does she mean she didn’t want to leave me? She didn’t even tell me goodbye. “You were the star of every single play and your future was bright. You deserved the opportunity. Even if we were all sorry to see you leave and missed you.”

“You missed me?”

I step away, so she won’t see all those old feelings surfacing in my eyes. “Of course I did.”

I missed her the way sailors miss red sunsets and soldiers miss peace.

She wedges her hand between us and rests it in the middle of my chest.

“I thought about the kiss a lot. It was a memory that kept me warm.”

“Why didn’t you leave me your number when you moved out of your first apartment?”

“Because I missed you and there was no room for you in my life then. But I thought about the kiss. Especially when the city was covered in a blanket of snow and I was banging my iron skillet against the radiator.”

“Because the memory of our kiss kept you warm?”

She slowly shakes her head. “Nooo…,” she drawls.

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