Page 61 of Trash the Dress

“Don’t be upset with your dad, sweetie. He loves you more than you could imagine. When you hold your baby, you’ll know. Zander will too. Nothing else matters and you can’t imagine any love greater than what you have for your child. Your heart will feel like it’s going to burst with how much love there is,” she says.

“You’ll know there’s nothing you won’t do for them,” she adds.

“When did Dad change his mind about keeping me?”

She reaches for my hand. “He didn’t really want to give you up, but his mind ran wild with fear and my parents were trying to sway him. He went to my parents and asked to marry me. They told him no and that they’d send me away and put you up for adoption no matter what we wanted. They said we weren’t mature enough to take care of you. It was at that moment he realized beyond the shadow of a doubt he’d do anything to protect his family. He wasn’t going to let anyone take you or me away from him. We eloped that same evening. And we moved away from them and settled here in Tennessee. We never looked back.”

“You told me they died,” I say barely above a whisper.

“I did. I always thought they’d find me one day and want to know you. Instead, I reached out to them, thinking they’d come around. Thinking they’d want to see you and get to know you. But my mother insisted that having a baby at my age and running away with your dad ruined my life. I told her that you and your dad were my whole life. And I never spoke to them again.” She swipes the tears that fall.

“Mama, I’m so sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about. I’d choose you again every time. And you’ve had your grammy all your life, so you weren’t lacking love. She stepped in for me too. The day I married her son, she took over as my mother figure. She was always happy we were together and had you,” Mama tells me.

“If you know what it’s like to be in my shoes, why did y’all get so mad? I don’t understand.”

“We weren’t mad. And we aren’t perfect. The shock was a lot. Even though you’re already successful in your own right, we didn’t want you to ever struggle like we did. We wanted you and this baby to have everything you deserve. And after everything that happened with Eric, and then getting pregnant by someone we didn’t know…you have to at least try to understand how that threw us.”

“I can see that. But what me and this baby deserve are to have you and Dad in our lives. Are you here just because Zander called you?”

“He didn’t, sweetheart. I called him. Anna wouldn’t tell me anything. She knew what was happening but wanted to stay out of the middle, so she gave me his number and I called. Apparently right on time. He told me you needed me.”

I swallow the urge to sob. “I do need you, Mama. And Dad too.”

She hugs me. “My sweet girl. I’m so sorry we projected our pasts onto you and haven’t cleared the air sooner. He’s in the car. But he thought you might not want to see him.”

I laugh. “I want him here. I need to tell you both about your grandson.”

Mom’s hand flies to her heart and she walks to the front door and waves Dad in. As soon as he sees me, he wraps me in his arms and tells me how sorry he is and how much he loves me.

I get that Mama called Zander, but I think it was his words telling her I needed her that brought her to me tonight. Now Ihave my parents back and I understand them a little more than I ever did before.

After Mama’s confession I think I might love them more, because she’s right. None of us are perfect, but how we choose to navigate through our imperfections makes us who we are. I’m so glad I have parents who chose to fight for me and their love instead of letting it destroy them.

The same way Zander and I have fallen in love with each other and fought through our own doubts for our son.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Zander

I’ve never photographed something more beautiful than this woman. Scarlett. My little sunshine. I wouldn’t have guessed I’d ever take maternity pictures at all, much less of a woman carrying my own child. My whole world is in these pictures.

When I said I wanted to do a maternity shoot with her, she blushed the most beautiful shade of pink from her neck to the apples of her cheeks. We’ve spent the afternoon taking pictures in the field just over the hill behind the house. There’s an old barn back there and a stone bridge that crosses over a creek.

The weather has been cool, but nice. Her dark brown hair falls over her shoulders in loose curls and the light breeze creates a natural tousled effect. Her smile is contagious. She’s absolutely glowing with no help from the golden sun behind her.

She’s changed from a dress to a skirt and top that bared her pregnant bump, to unbuttoned jeans and a white, long-sleeved crop top. Scarlett can wear anything, or nothing at all and be the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen.

She has soft curves in all the right places and to see her like this…swollen belly as she is growing my child inside…it elicits a feeling in me I don’t know how to describe. Gone was the awkward woman she claimed to be when we first met and then later when she told me she was pregnant. In her place is this radiant, confident woman.

I have to admit, I don’t quite recognize the guy I’ve become either. Once scorned by love, swearing I would never use or feel the “L-word” again. Now I’m head over heels with the very woman I’m seeing through my camera lens.

I think maybe when you’re with the right person, the one meant for you, everything else fades away. All the mistakes, all the doubts, all the loneliness becomes a memory. You grow into a better version of yourself. I think that’s what the right love is meant to do.

Here I stand as a proud dad-to-be, a place I never imagined I’d get to. I’m not sure what could make things better than they are. Until she turns her gaze my way after staring off into the setting sun behind us. She starts to walk this way, and I snap a few dozen shots of this beauty who captured me.

When she reaches me, she stands on her tiptoes to kiss me. “Will you take some pictures with me? You can do that, can’t you?”

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