Page 59 of Trash the Dress

I’ll make sure she stays far from my son and the woman I love. Her heart and his is mine to protect from now until forever. And I take that responsibility very seriously. No one will harm them physically or emotionally under my watch.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Scarlett

“Thank you for letting me know, and I’ll start tracking as soon as I pick it up from the pharmacy,” I say to the nurse before I hang up.

Gestational diabetes.The words play in a loop over and over in my head. I know lots of women have this. And I know most women do perfectly fine managing it. Logically, I know I’ll be no different. But somehow it still feels like my body has failed me, which is utterly ridiculous. My body is amazing.

It has grown and stretched to house my precious son perfectly for many months now. We’re in the home stretch. Just under a couple months to go. I can do anything for a couple months to make sure my baby is safe.

I sit on the floor in the living room to stare out at the rolling hills and the blue sky, which maybe isn’t my best idea at this point, but my legs feel like noodles. Zander is in the bedroom getting ready for work, so he has no idea I’m mere feet away from him having an internal meltdown.

I know pregnancy makes you feel all sorts of emotions and most of them you can’t control. For me, I feel every emotion…hard. A lot harder than I normally would. And I know I can talk to any number of my friends, and Zander. But at a time like this, I want my mother’s advice.

I’m more devastated about my parents’ cold shoulder act than I openly admit. Truth be told, I figured they’d come around by now. The initial shock of how I came to be pregnant should’ve worn off and they should simply be happy to be grandparents for the first time.

I sniffle as I feel the threat of tears start to sting and it doesn’t take long for Zander to find me after. “Scarlett, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” he asks as he drops to a knee beside me, his brows pinched together in concern.

I wipe under my nose with the back of my hand. “Dr. Ray’s nurse just called with my glucose test results. She said I have gestational diabetes. My numbers weren’t high by a lot. I failed the one-hour blood draw by a little, but I passed the two-hour draw. But even if it’s barely over, they said it’s still considered gestational diabetes,” I tell him as tears finally flood my eyes.

He helps me to stand with him as he rises, then he looks me in the eye, his hands cradling my face. “You are amazing, sunshine. You’re going to be fine, and so is the baby. What are their recommendations?”

“I need to get a glucose meter and test strips and prick my finger four times a day. I do it upon waking, two hours after breakfast, two hours after lunch, and two hours after supper. The readings need to be under one hundred ideally. But especially the one I take upon waking up.”

He wraps his arms around me protectively and kisses my forehead. “Okay. No big deal. We can do that. I can pick it up for you and bring it back here. Or if you feel like getting out of the house for a bit, I’ll drive you to the pharmacy, and then wecan grab lunch and come back here. Just tell me what you need, sunshine.”

“I’d like all the above for sure, but I think I need my mama. Going through this pregnancy without her breaks my heart, especially now that I’m facing an obstacle. Moms are supposed to support their daughters in all these big moments and life events. But since we told them about us and the baby, it feels like my parents don’t need me in their lives like I need them. I mean, I get the disappointment. But I just thought they’d be over it by now and they’d be happy for us…and for themselves. Look at your parents. They can’t wait to have a grandson,” I tell him.

“Babe, you know my mom will talk you through anything, but I get it. She’s notyourmom. I’ll go talk to your parents if you want me to,” he says, still holding me close.

“No, you shouldn’t have to. I appreciate that you’re willing to. But that’s my battle.”

He stares at me again. “Sunshine, you have me, and there are no battles that are yours to fight alone. We’re in this together. Those weren’t just empty words when I said them. I meant it.”

“I thought you were talking about the baby,” I say quietly, almost ashamed even after all we’ve been through in a short amount of time, I took his words and made myself believe they weren’t for me, but solely about the baby we created together.

He chuckles lightly and then tips my chin up before kissing my lips. “It was about you too. You are the mother of my child. It doesn’t matter how that came to be.It is.My love for you is real. I won’t be the one to forsake you, sunshine.”

He kisses me gently, his lips warm and soft against mine. I smell his sandalwood scent all around me and let out a little hum of satisfaction. He licks the seam of my lips, and I part them, allowing him inside. He tastes like the minty toothpaste he uses, and it reminds me he was getting ready to leave for work.

I break the kiss. “Uh, you have to work. I can go to the pharmacy myself. I’m okay. It was the initial shock. Everything else has been going so great, it just shook me a bit for that test not to be great too. I don’t want whatever is going on with my body to negatively affect the baby.”

“Your body is exquisite. It’s doing what it needs to do. You’re growing our son in there. You’re superwoman. Give yourself some grace. Everything will be fine, I promise,” he says.

“And I can get Dad to cover me this evening, at least for a few hours. He won’t mind.”

It’s my turn to laugh. “He can’t cover for you all the time. He’s going to think I’m stealing you away and never giving you back.”

He turns serious. His gaze holds mine. “You have stolen my heart, Scarlett. And I can only hope and pray you never try to give it back. Because it doesn’t belong to me anymore, it belongs to you.”

My gaze drops from his to his chest. My hand follows my line of vision as I press my palm to where his heart beats steadily in his chest. I push him backward to the couch with my palm firmly in place over the very beating rhythm he says is mine.

I lift his shirt over his head and let it fall to the floor as my gaze fixes on his chest. He has a light dusting of dark hair across it and his nipples are pebbled beneath my touch. The tattoo on his side that I noticed our first night together is sexier than I know how to explain. I trace it with my fingertip and while I kiss his chest right over his heart and then bring both hands up to his pecs and push him to a sitting position on the couch.

I’m wearing a cozy, red-orange sweater and black maternity leggings. I don’t understand how this man can say and do all the right things. Everything he does is like love notes to my heart. But it heats my blood for him in a way I can’t control. He took mefrom meltdown to melting for him in almost the blink of an eye…and a few heartbeats.

Even as my swollen pregnant belly protrudes further than my breasts now, I’m not self-conscious under his stare. I pull my sweater over my head and push down my leggings. My lace bra is off with a flick of my wrist. My breasts are thankful for the freedom. At this point, I’d much rather be naked than restricted by any type of clothing.

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