Page 3 of Trash the Dress

He tries to always make the right choices and he treats others with kindness. But he also owns up to his mistakes and shortcomings. Between him and Mama, I feel a lot of pressure to always do the right thing, and not mess up somehow.

My parents aren’t wealthy by any stretch of the imagination, but we’ve never wanted for anything. Eric’s parents, on the other hand, are rich. Plain and simple. He’s never flaunted that, but planning this wedding, everything had to be the biggest and best. It was a struggle to get him to agree to get married in my church.

It’s far too humble for the mass production he and his parents wanted this wedding to be. My mind drifts to acertain wedding photographer who I know is counting down the minutes until he can escape this wedding. A ceremony he no longer believes in. I find myself counting down the minutes too—not to escape Eric, but to simply marry him and put this “production” behind us.

“You look beautiful, Scarlett,” my mom tells me. She reaches in her pocket—because even fancy and formal dresses have pockets these days—and pulls out her heart-shaped diamond necklace and my lips part. This necklace was given to my mother on her wedding day by Grammy. Grammy is my dad’s mother.

“Mama…” She cuts me off by smiling and moving behind me. Then she fastens the delicate chain around my neck. She turns me to face the mirror again.

“Grammy gave me this on my wedding day, and now I’m giving it to you,” she tells me.

I turn and face them. “If Eric and I are anywhere near as happy as you two are, I’ll consider myself lucky. Thank you both for showing me what a marriage looks like.”

Dad clears his throat. “I wish nothing but happiness for you, my sweet girl. You deserve the best.”

Anna knocks on the door and steps in. “Sorry to interrupt, but it’s time to line up,” she says.

Dad turns back to me. “I’m going to seat your mama and I’ll be right back to get you.”

Anna smiles at them as they leave the room, then she closes the door behind them. “They’re right, you look amazing. But why do you seem…I don’t know. Sad maybe? If you need to run, tell me now and I’ll cover for you. It’s part of my maid of honor duties,” she says as she takes my hands and winks.

My shoulders fall. Anna is my person. She just gets it…she gets me. And right now she’s seeing through my bravado. “I want to marry him. It’s not that, but he’s been so standoffish or something, especially last night. Planning this wedding hasbecome more of a show than a ceremony of love. It’s making me feel confused. I know him, and this isn’t it. I’m telling myself it’s pressure from his family and that once we’re married, we’ll go back to the way we were.”

Her smile is tight, like her lips are folded in on each other and she squeezes my hands. “You know I’m big on trusting your gut. And if you have doubts, I personally don’t like it. I’d say that no matter who it was, so forget for a moment that he’s not on my list of favorite people and answer my question honestly. Do you love Eric Pierce?”

I don’t hesitate at all. “Yes, I love him.”

“Are you ready to marry him? Are you sure he’s your happily ever after?” she asks.

That question does make me hesitate, not for the first time, but it’s the first time hesitating in front of someone.

She hugs me and says, “Oh, hunny-bunny. Don’t do this if you feel like you shouldn’t. I don’t care what’s at stake. I’ve got your back no matter what, and so do your parents. Grammy too, even if she’s not the same.”

The mention of Grammy’s “state” squeezes my heart, and the tears I’d been holding back spill over. I shudder in my best friend’s embrace. Only a best friend can tell you what you already know to be the truth, even if the truth is difficult.

I pull back and ignore the warning in my heart. “I’ll be fine. I’m making the right decision. It’s just jitters. We’ve been under so much pressure, and we haven’t been intimate in six months. Even though that’s what I wanted to make tonight more special, it’s messed with me. I can’t ever undo the fact that we’ve already had sex, but this was a way to make it as much like the first time again as possible,” I remind her.

“I know your reasons, babe. Are you afraid he’s cheated?”

“No,” I snap. “He’d never do that to me…to us. I’d know.”

She smiles sadly. Her lips turn up softly, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Okay. So, let’s touch up this makeup and get you married already,” she says.

She keeps her focus on my lips as she adds another coat of gloss to them. Dad comes back and holds out his arm for me as Anna gives me one more smile and goes ahead of us. As we walk down the aisle, Dad holds my hand where our arms are linked. He squeezes a little tighter as we get closer to where Eric stands waiting. I haven’t been able to look in his direction yet. I’ve been focused on the constant unease that’s been my companion all day, and the grip my dad seems to have on my hand. He’s the one man who will never break my heart. Will Eric?

I finally chance a peep at him. He isn’t smiling. He appears stone-faced. Like I’m about to chain him to the wall and take away his freedom. He’s never looked at me that way, even if we were fighting.

I don’t hear much of what the preacher says as my dad places my hand in Eric’s. The preacher continues in front of this large crowd—most of whom I don’t know. When he gets to the part about anyone having objections, the silence is broken by a woman’s voice in the back of the church.

“Eric, don’t marry her! You don’t love her, you love me!” The woman has short blonde hair and she’s wearing a black knee-length dress as if she’s in mourning.

The entire congregation turns to see who has spoken as well. I turn my gaze back to Eric who now looks ashen. All the color has drained from his usually tanned complexion and I can see panic in his wide eyes. “Eric?” I ask.

Anna is instantly at my back. “Who is this woman?” I ask more plainly.

He drops his head and mumbles, “I’m sorry, Scarlett. I have a problem. When you said no sex for six months, I had to getit somewhere because I wanted to honor your wishes. But I told her it was just sex. I don’t love her.”

By this time, Eric’s parents have reached us and overheard his confession. His mom says, “Come now, he said it’s over. He didn’t do this while married to you. This is your fresh start. Scarlett, forgive him, and, Eric, get rid of this embarrassment.” She turns her eyes back to me and says even more quietly, “You should know better than to deprive your man of sex. They stray if you do, dear.”

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