Page 29 of Trash the Dress

She blinks a few times and then smiles. “I’ll see you in a couple weeks, then. Thanks for the tour.”

She turns to leave, but I wrap my fingers around her delicate wrist. “You’re leaving?”

“I am. A client called and I need to get back to Franklin. I’ll be in touch, don’t worry,” she says as she pats her abdomen. It’s in that moment I can picture how beautiful she’ll be while pregnant and what a great mom she’ll be too.

I watch her as she gets in her car and drives away leaving me alone with images of what could be, if only I had the courage. I notice the sky is clear today. I hope it stays that way with my little sunshine.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Scarlett

It’s been two weeks exactly since I saw Zander. We’ve sent texts back and forth, and occasionally spoken for a few minutes. They’ve all been short and sweet. Simply checking in with each other. But I find myself nervous to see him now.

Over the past couple weeks, nausea and morning sickness has come in waves. Some days I’m okay, others…not so much. As sweet and helpful as he was when he saw me get sick, I prefer not to do that again in his presence.

I made sure to eat oatmeal this morning because it seems to help me. I’ve also started eating small snack-size portions throughout the day and it keeps the sickness away too. It seems that if I don’t get hungry, I don’t feel nauseated.

I packed a bag with enough clothes and toiletries for a week. I don’t know that I’ll stay that long, but I wanted to be sure I had enough in case I do.

I pull into a parking spot at the hospital and call Zander. Our appointment with Dr. Ray is at two o’clock, and her office is inthe actual hospital. I’m here about twenty minutes early so I can fill out paperwork and give them my insurance information.

“Hello? Am I late?” he asks as if he’s out of breath.

“No. You’re fine. I’m here a little early for paperwork and all the things they need before the appointment. I was just letting you know I’d be in the office when you get here,” I tell him.

“Oh, okay. I thought for a second I had stayed at work too long. I should be there in about ten minutes,” he says, sounding slightly relieved.

We disconnect the call as I exit my car, and I sling my purse over my shoulder before heading into the hospital. True to his word, ten minutes later, Zander appears in Dr. Ray’s waiting room wearing a gray T-shirt with jeans that mold to his muscular thighs. He looks good, too good if I’m being honest with myself. I feel butterflies or something when his dark stare finds mine.

He’s about to sit beside me when the nurse calls my name. He waits for me to lead the way and I fall in line behind the nurse. She checks my weight and asks me to pee in a cup. Once those tasks are done, she leads us to a dark room where an ultrasound tech is waiting. She smiles kindly and tells me to undress from the waist down while handing me a paper drape.

Zander’s eyes widen a fraction as the tech closes the privacy curtain before exiting to allow me to undress. “I can step out or turn. I can just turn,” he stammers and points to the wall behind him.

I laugh. “It’s a little late for that, isn’t it?”

“Meaning?” he asks with a raised brow.

I can’t wipe the smile off my face at how uncomfortable this is making him. “Well, you’ve kind of seen all of me before, which is the exact reason we’re here,” I say, gesturing around the room with my arm. “But also, you wanted to be with me for this appointment, remember? You’ll see a lot more of me if you planto see this pregnancy through with me, especially in the delivery room,” I tell him.

His eyes widen a tiny fraction, and he grunts something I can’t hear before turning to face the wall. I proceed to undress from my waist down, being sure to tuck my underwear inside my folded jeans, because all women hide their underwear at these appointments, don’t they? I’m not sure why, but it’s a thing. It’s not like they have underwear police or something. I place them on the chair behind me.

Once my paper drape is covering my bare lap, I tell Zander he can sit in the chair beside this table or chair or whatever it is that I’m on. It has stirrups, so I’m not sure what it’d be considered as. He discreetly peeps around and finds me in position for this exam.

He sits beside me. “Are you good?”

“I’m dandy, thanks. I’m bare bottoming a paper sheet on a chair—we’re calling this a chair I think—with stirrups on it while waiting for who knows what to go you know where,” I say in a sarcastically chipper tone. I’m excited to find out about my baby, but someone poking around my vagina…not so much.

Bless him, I can see him blanch in this dimly lit room and I silently chastise myself for my awkwardness around this man. I’m not sure how to stop it.

“Sorry. I told you I’m awkward when I’m nervous.”

“I get it…I think. I mean, I’m trying to. I know men don’t have to go through half the things women do. I guess I’m just nervous too,” he admits out loud.

“It’s fine. I think if we communicate, this parenting thing will work out,” I tell him. His chair is close to where I’m at and we’re lost in each other’s gaze for a heartbeat, but we both whip our attention to the door when the tech knocks and asks if we’re ready.

Bless her soul, she explains we’re doing a transvaginal ultrasound since we’re about eight weeks along. I see Zander tense up when she pulls it out and rolls what looks to be a condom on the wand as a barrier. It’s dark, so I’m not sure if it is or not. Then she covers it in lubricant. I can only imagine the thoughts running through Zander’s head right now and I wonder if he regrets his decision to tag along for this appointment.

It takes a few seconds, but she finally shows us a little thing that looks like a butter bean. Upon closer observation, she points out tiny arms and legs. She shows us the anatomy present right now and finally she asks if we’d like to hear the heartbeat.

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