Page 17 of Burning for the Truth

I notice Slade and Alex, basically the mirror image of what Dean and Drew were in their firehouse, looking at us with furrowed brows. Theirs is a brotherhood, I get it, and they must be afraid I’m about to cause him harm. They have that protective glint in their eye like they’re ready to step in if needed. So, I quickly add, “Privately.”

He holds my stare for a few seconds before answering, “Of course.” He turns to Chelsea and says, “We’ll talk later.” She appears utterly annoyed but nods and grabs her purse from a nearby chair. She flashes me an angry look but quickly masks it as she reaches to hug Dean.

Once that’s over, she walks away as he trains his eyes on me. “Lead the way.”

I start walking and he trails behind me. I head to the stables and find Hawk with Whiskey and Gypsy, about to close them in for the night. “Why aren’t you at the party?” I ask sweetly.

He looks up at the sound of my voice. “Oh, I was on my way, just finishing up a few things.”

I stare at him curiously. I know more about him than he could possibly realize. Dean steps in behind me. “Hey, man,” he says to Dean.

“Hey,” Dean answers.

Hawk glances between the two of us and then silently walks toward the exit, clapping Dean on the shoulder as he passes, leaving us alone.

I walk forward taking in what I hope will be a calming breath.It’s not.I feel more torn apart than ever.

“So…” I begin, keeping my back to him.

We’re silent for a few moments. “Briella, we don’t have to do this right now. You took a big step by even coming here tonight and seeing me. Don’t let everyone else guilt you into talking to me before you’re ready. I know how you must feel about me.”

A tear escapes and I swipe it away before spinning around to face him. “You don’t know how I feel, Dean!” I shout abruptly.

He winces as if I slapped him. “Okay. You’re right. I don’t know. The person I’m in love with didn’t die.” He stares into my eyes.

I cover my mouth with my hand and stare at the hay on the floorboards of the stable. “I’m sorry. I just…I don’t know anything anymore. I want to feel like myself again. But I’m afraid the day Drew died, part of me died too.”

He steps forward but I hold up my hand. “You need to understand the reason I’m avoiding you isn’t because I hate you. I hate you’ve been thinking that, but it’s not true. I’ve been avoiding you because when I look at you, I see him. I see the memory of a life taken too soon. And it’s not fair to you and it’s sure as hell not your fault.”

He nods but stays silent.

“I don’t know how to not see him when I see you.” I sniffle. “I know you said you have things to tell me. I want to know what they are, but I’m not entirely sure I can handle them.”

“How about I start with one thing and then the rest can wait until you think you’re ready to hear them?” he asks hesitantly.

I nod even though I’m not sure this is a good idea.

He closes his eyes and drags in a breath. When his stormy eyes open again, he says the one thing I should’ve seen coming, I should’ve been able to brace myself. But it turns out I’m not as strong as I used to be after all.

“He made me promise to tell you he loved you and he was so sorry he couldn’t keep his promise.”

That’s all he can get out before I fall to my knees on the dusty floor as I try to steady myself with one hand on the wall and the other holding my chest as if I can hold what’s left of my heart together somehow.

My chest heaves with emotion and I suddenly feel rock-hard arms lift me up, almost as if lifting this crushing pain off my shoulders and helping me to stand. He doesn’t let me go; he folds me into his arms tightly. I know he’s trying to help, but it hurts so much. It’s as if his touchburnsme.

He presses a kiss to my forehead, and I crumble completely. I pull away from him and I know I need to get out of here. I search for an exit as he stares helplessly after me. I turn and let Whiskey out of her stall. Lucky for me she still has her bridle and bit on, so I grab the reins hanging on the wall, attach them, and climb on her bare back.

Dean shouts, “Briella, don’t!”

I squeeze my eyes shut, dig my heels in Whiskey’s side, and we shoot out of the stables like hellfire is chasing us. I feel the wind hitting me in the face and my tears are drying as fast as they’re falling.Don’t be reckless.Ivie’s words rush through my mind as I ride into the night. I’ve been here before with Dean, and reckless is exactly what I’m being.

Shit! I rush around the stable trying to get Gypsy saddled up. As I’m fastening her strap, Hawk comes running in. “Everything okay out here, Dean?”

“Not exactly,” I huff out as I mount Gypsy. “Do me a favor, hand me one of the walkies. If I need backup, I’ll call.” He puts one in my palm as his lips fold in on themselves.

“This isn’t a good idea, Dean, it’s dark and there’s been a lot of coyotes around lately.”

“I understand. All the more reason I need to go after her. Give me a flashlight.”

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