“She’s not doing good, Dean. But let’s not talk about that. I’m here for you.” He tries to sway the discussion.

I chuckle without an ounce of humor. “I get it, and I appreciate that. But I made Drew a promise before he died, and I intend to keep it.”

Sterling’s face scrunches in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“He made me promise to take care of Briella. And I intend to, even if it’s from a distance. I know she has you and Tate—and your entire family. But she’s got me too. Please don’t tell her. She must hate me enough as it is.” I stare at him as realization slams into me for the first time since this tragic incident occurred. Her boyfriend died while I survived. I wouldn’t be too fond of me either simply because of the twist of fate.

He steps closer. “What do you mean? Why would she ever hate you? She’s known you her whole life. She cares about you. She waited out there with the rest of us until she knew you were okay.”

“Because if someone was going to die in that fire, it should’ve been me. Not him. He had so much to live for. They were starting to get serious from what I could tell. And it was taken from them both in a matter of minutes. It should’ve been me,” I grind out through clenched teeth as angry tears drip off my chin.

Sterling is inches from my face now. Fury is radiating from him as he stands with his spine straight while he stares me down. “You listen to me right now. We don’t get to pick our fate. Nothing that happened in the fire was your fault.”

“Wasn’t it though?” I shout, projecting my anger on him. “I was his lieutenant. I was in charge of the scene. I should’ve pushed him out of the way. I should’ve—”

It’s Sterling’s turn to shout. “You should’ve what, Dean? Been able to tell the future? You should’ve not gone in when you thought someone we all love was inside? Ignored your instinct to save someone?” He moves a few inches back with his chest rising and falling. He’s angry, almost as angry as me.

“That’s not what I mean. I meant—” He cuts me off again.

“You meant what, Dean? You knew what the fire was going to do? I don’t care how well you’re trained, and I know your training is extensive, there is no way in hell you could have anticipated what happened. Fire is a living, breathing thing and they don’t fit into the parameters of what you think they should be. You went in, with all the knowledge and training you both had, but still the unthinkable happened. You can’t be prepared for every scenario on the job or in life period. The sooner you wrap your head around that, the better you’ll be.”

“Sterling…” We both stare each other down.

“I know what you’re saying, but it was ultimately my job to keep him safe. And I failed. I lost one of my best friends because I didn’t read the signs fast enough.” I hang my head after tearing my eyes away from his.

He comes closer and puts his forehead to mine with his hand on the back of my neck. “Listen to me. I know you feel the weight of this more than anyone. But it’s not yours to carry alone. You lost one of your best friends, I get it. But your other one is still here. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. I’ll help you get this bastard, I promise.”

Sterling’s bone-tired gaze slams into mine and I nod.

“We need to get you better so we can examine every piece of evidence we have. We need all hands on deck,” he says as he pulls back, now seemingly calm.

“You know I’ll do whatever it takes,” I tell him. He nods and starts for my door.

“Sterling…”

He turns to me expectantly as I start to speak. “I meant what I said about keeping my promise to take care of Briella.”

He smiles sadly. “That’s a promise we’ll all be keeping, brother.”

With that, he walks out the door.Yeah, and mine will have to be from a distance.

Not only does she probably hate me now, but I don’t think I could bear the disappointment sure to be in her eyes when she looks at me.

Six months later…

“How’s the investigation coming?” Brittney Jameson asks as she slides a burger and fries in front of me. On Fridays after my shift, I go home and change into regular clothes before riding to High Road Bar to have dinner with Brittney before the crowd comes in. Her boss, and the owner of the High Road, Zander Bailey, allows her to take about thirty minutes for me and our standing girl dates.

She slides a second plate full of the same beside me and walks around to the counter to sit. She brought out a mineral water for her and a beer for me.

“Well, as I tell you every week, I can’t discuss an ongoing investigation, but it’s not coming along.” I pick at my burger and fries like I do every meal lately. I eat because I know I need to, but I don’t crave anything. Nothing is satisfying, it simply keeps me going. In fact, nothing is truly enjoyable anymore; I merely exist and go through the motions.

Brittney places her hand on my shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Bree. Give it more time. Y’all will get him.” She smiles sympathetically. Brittney has become one of my closest friends. I have Ivie and Lucy too, and I love them, but I hate to drown everyone in all my pain, so I don’t. Brittney has been great to me—always there to listen.

And I do the same for her. I’ve learned of her heartbreaks and secrets as well. We lean on each other in that way. But she’s also shared her dreams with me. She’s trying to become a singer. I’ve heard her when we’ve been alone and let’s just say…wow with a capital W. She’s amazing, and I know when the right person hears her, she’ll take off and leave us all behind.

A deep voice sounds beside us. “Get who?” I look up to see a familiar face—Michael Boyd. He became a resident of Greendale Valley about two years ago. He’s Jake Boyd’s cousin. He moved here after his wife was tragically killed in a car accident. On some level, we understand each other, having lost love in such a violent way.

“Oh, nobody. What are you up to tonight?” I ask, trying to change the subject.