Page 31 of Burning for the Truth

“He’s on the line still and he’s already headed this way,” she says as she hands me the phone.

“Sterling, get here. Call in everyone. We need Bomb and Arson here too. I’m calling it into dispatch now and then Chief Holden,” I tell him, already in lieutenant mode, ready to take command of the scene in front of me. For a moment, I allow myself to glance at Briella and see the pure devastation in her eyes with knowing her life isn’t her own to control right now, but also a hint of anger as I glance at her clenching and unclenching her fists with her jaw locked.

“I’ll be there in five. Dean…” he says frantically.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t let her out of your sight,” he tells me with all the authority of an overprotective brother.

“I won’t. I promise.” I glance at her as she stares back at me. I hold my arm out to her and she walks over and curls into my side as patrons come out of High Road to see what happened. I bark at them to stay back as the first sirens break through the otherwise quiet night and flames light up the darkened sky.

This bastard stole one person from us. I’ll be damned if he steals anyone else. And after tonight, I don’t think Briella will have a problem cooperating with all of us and our need to make sure she’s safe.

Aweek has gone by and we’re still no closer to nailing this piece of crap than we were in the beginning. When my car exploded in the parking lot of High Road Bar, my life ceased to be my own anymore. I get it…I really do. Everyone is trying to keep me safe while we find this guy and bring him to justice, but I’m a cop too, and I’m being treated like a valuable piece of glass instead of an asset to this case. Case in point, I’m currently talking to Dr. Leah Barnette.

“What are you feeling?” she asks gently, leaning toward me with her hands clasped, elbows perched on her knees.

“I’m feeling helpless, Leah. I feel like I have no control over any part of my life or the investigation,” I tell her after letting out a frustrated puff of air.

“I understand. But are you okay? Without the party responsible paying for their crimes, the biggest being Drew’s death, are you okay? That has to be tough to swallow. It’s not like you have a chance to get closure with the perpetrator still at large and really no leads,” she says with her brows furrowed.

“Don’t sugarcoat anything, Doc. You know I like my therapy prickly.” I stare at her blankly trying to mask the truth about the emotions running through my head and my heart.

She smiles kindly. “I’m only asking the tough questions to try and get you talking. I know there’s more swirling around than you’re admitting to. I think you forget it’s my job to get you to work through things, so they aren’t poisoning you. I’m also your friend and I care about you. This is a safe place. Nothing leaves these walls and there’s no judgment here.”

“I know, Leah. I know it’s your job and I know you’re trying to help. I’m as okay as I can be under the circumstances.” I’m not exactly lying, but I’m blocking out anything other than this investigation—including the way my heart beats faster when I’m near Dean.

“How do you feel now that you’ve been around Dean again? I know how hard you tried to avoid him after Drew’s death. I know it brings up memories for you.”

This time I stand, signaling I’m done with this session. “I’m fine. I should’ve faced him a long time ago. Now that I have, it’s fine. I know I shouldn’t have pushed him away like I did.”

She stands with me. “Briella, I know you’re saying what you think I want to hear. I just want you to be honest about how you’re feeling, so I can help you sort through everything. No one expects you to be okay one hundred percent of the time. You’ll have good days and bad. It’s all part of healing.” She pauses and adds thoughtfully, “Sometimes our greatest strength when healing is admitting we’re not okay on the bad days, not just acknowledging we’re fine on the good ones.”

I close my eyes and nod. “I know. Thank you…for everything. I truly appreciate you.”

She smiles and nods too.

I walk out of her office into the night air. I went after work for our session today. Sterling is perched on the fender of his cruiser waiting for me. “Hey, sis. I’m taking you home since your cruiser is still being inspected.”

The urge to roll my eyes is strong, but I know he’s only trying to help. My entire life has been combed through since my personal car was targeted, including my police car.

I manage to smile briefly and mutter, “Thanks.”

“How did your session go?” he asks as I settle in the passenger seat.

“Nice try. My therapy is confidential,” I bite out a little harsher than intended. I cross my arms and stare out the window.

“Listen, I’m sorry. I don’t know how to be there for you without being protective. Believe me, I wish we could go back to when life was simpler,” he offers.

“Sterling, I get it. We all have a job to do in trying to work this investigation. One of yours is protecting me even though I can protect myself.”

He pulls into the parking spot in front of my apartment. “Look, I know you can protect yourself. Your head is always in the game and you’re one hell of a cop. You’ve been faced with situations which required quick thinking. You’re calm and precise. But what we’re dealing with now—this is beyond normal circumstances for all of us, and especially for you. There’s no map on how to navigate this. We’re doing the best we can.”

“I’m trying. You have no idea how it feels to have no control over what’s happened and whatishappening.” I reach over and squeeze his hand. He squeezes back.

“I love you, Bree. I want you safe and happy.” He gives me his best, most genuine smile.

“I love you too.”

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