Page 45 of You. Me. Us.

The car door slammed shut as Hillary burst out, her heels clicking frantically against the polished marble lobby floor. She raced past the receptionist, barely registering their friendly greeting as she sprinted toward the elevators. Her heart pounded in her chest as she fumbled for her keycard, desperate to reach her room and escape reality for just a moment longer.

After several attempts, the door finally swung open, and Hillary stumbled inside. She let it close behind her with a resounding thud, leaning against it heavily as if to barricade herself from the outside world.

The room was silent, save for her ragged breathing. She was alone with all her dangerous thoughts and fears. All the worries and terror that would no doubt suffocate her until she couldn’t stay awake any longer, and maybe in the morning she would wake up feeling differently.

Hillary kicked off her shoes and staggered toward the bed, collapsing onto the plush comforter. She curled into a ball, hugging her knees to her chest as the tears began to flow.

“What have I done?” she whispered, her voice breaking. “I’m not an actress. I can’t do this. Olivia’s going to fire me without an article, and then what? I’ll have nothing left. Not even the dream I’ve been so close to grasping.”

The tears came faster now, streaming down her cheeks in hot rivulets. Hillary buried her face in a pillow, trying to muffle the sobs that wracked her body. She felt like a complete and utter failure, like she had let everyone down - Olivia, Julius, but most of all, herself.

I should have never agreed to this, she thought miserably.I’m not cut out for the spotlight. I belong behind the scenes, where I can blend into the background and observe. Not out there on display for the whole world to see.

Hillary’s mind raced with worst-case scenarios, each more devastating than the last. She pictured Olivia’s disappointed face, the way her hazel eyes would harden as she delivered the news that Hillary was fired. She imagined Julius’s crestfallen expression when he learned she had quit, the light in his blue eyes dimming as he realized she wasn’t the woman he thought she was.

“I can’t face them,” Hillary choked out between sobs. “I can’t face anyone. I just want to disappear.”

She reached for her phone with trembling hands, desperate to hear a friendly voice. Her sister. To tell someone, anyone, thatshe had made a terrible mistake and needed help. But as her fingers hovered over the screen, Hillary hesitated.

What if they think less of me, too?she worried, biting her lip.What if they see me as weak and incompetent? I can’t bear the thought of losing their respect.

Hillary let the phone drop onto the bed beside her, burying her face in her hands once more. She was utterly alone, trapped by her own doubts and insecurities. And as the tears continued to fall, she couldn’t help but wonder if she would ever find the strength to pick herself back up again.

Do what you have to do. Protect what you can protect.The thought slammed into her as the tears stopped surging through her body.

Hillary’s hands trembled as she reached for her phone, her heartbeat quickening with each passing second. She unlocked the screen and checked the time, mentally converting from New Zealand to New York time. It was past midnight, but she knew Olivia would still be at the office. The woman was known for practically living there, pouring all her energy into her work.

“I have to do this,” Hillary swallowed back the failure, stealing herself. “I can’t keep pretending I’m something I’m not.”

She pulled up Olivia in her contacts and pressed to call, her heart pounding as she listened to the ring. Once, twice, three times. Just as Hillary was about to hang up, the ringing stopped.

“Hillary?” Olivia’s voice was sharp with surprise. “I wasn’t expecting to hear from you so soon. Already have a piece of that series for me?”

Hillary opened her mouth, but the words stuck in her throat. How could she explain the mess she’d made of everything? The disappointment she knew she would be to everyone who had believed in her?

“I...” she began, her voice wavering. “I made a mistake, Olivia. I thought I could do this, but I can’t. I’m not cut out for acting.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line, and Hillary could almost see Olivia’s brows furrowing in annoyance.

“What happened?” Olivia asked gently, surprising her. “Talk to me, Hillary.”

The dam broke, and everything came pouring out. The disastrous rehearsal, the way she had frozen up in front of everyone, the crushing sense of inadequacy that had followed her back to the hotel.

“I’m sorry,” Hillary finished, her voice barely above a whisper. “I know you took a chance on me with this assignment, but I don’t think I can go through with it. Is there any way I could still keep my job if I just wrote about this part? About realizing I’m not meant to be an actress?”

She held her breath, waiting for Olivia’s response. Would her boss be angry? Disappointed? Would she tell Hillary to pack her bags and never come back?

But when Olivia spoke again, her tone was filled with understanding. “Hillary,” she sighed. “I know it’s scary to step outside your comfort zone. But you can’t give up at the first sign of trouble. You sure as hell didn’t do that every time I made your life harder.”

“But what if I can’t do it? This isn’t the same as proving to you I’m good at something I know I’m good at. What if I let everyone down?”

“Listen to me, Hillary,” Olivia said, her words firm but kind. “I’ve been tough on you, I know that. But it’s because I’ve always believed in you. You’ve never let me down before, and I don’t think you will now. This is an extraordinary opportunity, and I’d hate to see you walk away from it just because things got a little heated.”

Hillary closed her eyes, letting Olivia’s words wash over her. She knew her boss was right. This was a once-in-a-lifetime chance, and she couldn’t let her fears hold her back.

“If you really want to come back to Muse,” Olivia continued, “the job is still yours. All I ask is that you write about this experience, no matter how it turns out. But Hillary, I think you owe it to yourself to give this a real shot.”

As Olivia spoke, a small voice in the back of Hillary’s mind began to grow louder. It reminded her of the way Julius had looked at her, the faith he had in her abilities. He believed she could do this, even if she didn’t believe it herself. Now it seemed Olivia did, too. The person she’d spent three years trying to impress, may have been impressed all along.

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