Page 34 of You. Me. Us.

fifteen

. . .

“Thank you, again!”Hillary yelled at her little sister as she pulled her key from her pocket, slipping it into the door.

“I still can’t believe this is going to your life,” Aisha grinned as she pushed the door open for Hillary. “It’s going to be so lonely here when you go, but I cannot wait to tell people we’ve been roommates since college.”

“I swear, I’m not going to be that important,” Hillary followed Aisha in.

The cozy warmth of a family dinner lingered, and she was just as surprised at their response as they were. Her mother didn’t judge, but praised. Her father didn’t remind her about the risks of the arts, but told her he’d be there opening night. Even her younger brother was genuinely excited for her, and that was not something teen boys ever were.

Despite springing such an insane announcement out of the blue, they’d been as excited as she thought she was.

Are you excited though? Or are you terrified this is a huge mistake and everyone will realize you’re dating Julius and only got the job because of that? Because isn’t that what happened?

It had been a week and the demon’s snuck in any chance they got. She’d almost caved and stopped being annoyed at Julius when she realized just how insecure she was in the choice she’d never dreamed she’d make.

“Stop, that’s all lies.” Aisha walked to her door. “I’ve got work in the morning so I’m going to jump in the shower. We’re going to celebrate until you believe this is real. Just you wait.”

Chuckling, Hillary kicked off her shoes and hugged her knees to her chest as Aisha disappeared into her room. The audition replayed in her mind like a film reel—the dim lights, the way she’d vanished into this woman furious at the world around her simply because she’d wanted to hurt Julius for his betrayal. It had all been so easy. So fast.

“You’ve got this, Hil,” she whispered to herself, trying to muster up confidence. But doubt gnawed at her. What if she wasn’t good enough? What if this was all just a foolish dream?

Hillary stood and paced the room, her bare feet padding softly on the carpet. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her chestnut hair was down and curled for once, and her green eyes were wide with uncertainty. The girl staring back at her looked like a stranger, someone daring to reach for something big and scary and wonderful.

More memories, of the table read. Of the workshop last night. Of what changes already started. The thrill of becoming someone else, losing herself in a character. The exhilaration when she’d nailed a particularly emotional scene. In those moments, she’d felt utterly alive, like she was exactly where she was meant to be. Even if she’d had no business being there.

But now, in the quiet of her small apartment, the doubts crept back in. Hollywood was a world away from her suburban roots. Did she really have what it took to make it as an actress? To bare her soul on camera for all the world to see?

Hillary sighed and went into her room, sinking down on the bed only to bury her face in her hands. The excitement and fear swirled inside her, a dizzying dance of emotions. She wanted this so badly it hurt, and that made very little sense to a woman used to blending into the background to ensure others were pleased. But the thought of failing, of everyone seeing her fall flat on her face, made her stomach twist.

“One step at a time,” she murmured, taking a deep breath. She couldn’t let the fear win. This was her shot, her chance to chase a life that shouldn’t even be an option for her. She had to believe in herself, even when the doubts felt overwhelming.

Hillary reached for her script on the nightstand. She would practice and give this everything she had. And maybe, just maybe, the shy girl from the small town would find her place among the stars.

Hillary’s gaze wandered to the open door across the hall, wondering if Aisha was actually going to miss her. Sure, they’d known each other for a decade, but she’d have the apartment to herself without Hillary chiding her to clean.

“Just another big day and I’m over hear worrying about the minutia.”

She thought back to her high school graduation, when she’d stood on stage as valedictorian and delivered a flawless speech. Her parents had been so proud, but she couldn’t help feeling like an impostor. As if someone else had written those words and she was just reciting them.

Then there was college. She’d majored in business at her parent’s insistence, securing a job at a prestigious firm right after graduation. But every day at that desk job felt like another step away from who she really wanted to be. Two months passed and everything was as boring as the day before it.

That’s why she’d taken the leap and send in an application to intern at muse. It was supposed to be just for fun, a way forher to break out of her shell and do something outside of her comfort zone. But it had awoken something inside of her that she couldn’t ignore.

And now here she was, on the brink of something huge. A chance at fulfilling a career path many she knew would kill for.

But what if it wasn’t meant to be? What if this was all just a silly fantasy that would inevitably come crashing down around her?

Hillary shook her head, trying to clear away the negative thoughts. She knew deep down that she couldn’t let fear hold her back the way it did at Muse with Olivia.

She reached for her phone, scrolling through pictures from Comic Con. There was one in particular that always caught her eye—one where she looked totally lost in wonder as she stood next to a man cosplaying as Genie.

You didn’t belong there, either. You were sent because you wouldn’t get caught up in the fantasy and forget to work.

Even the photos couldn’t stop the thoughts.

She reached for her phone, knowing just who could stop the worry. The same person who put the doubts there in the first place.

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