Page 32 of Something Borrowed

Chapter Twelve

He couldn’t standto see the look Adrianna kept trying to hide—disappointment tinged with fear. Holding her chin, he gently tipped it up, forcing her to look into hiseyes.

“This isn’t as bad as it seems,” he told her, finding the strength to say the words proved to be considerably harder than he would have thought.

Nodding, she tried to glance away, but he wouldn’t lether.

“Repeat it, Adrianna. I need to know you’re on board with this too.” He hadn’t meant to sound like such a dick, but there was no way he was getting on a plane until he was convinced she wasn’t going to bolt onhim.

She sighed, blowing up the section of hair that had fallen in front of her face. “It’s not that bad, it’s just depressing.”

He hated that he was the reason she was upset—hated that he would continue to be the cause of so much upset throughout the course of their relationship, no matter how far it went. If he remained in the service, dating or married, he would always be leaving at some point. If Adrianna couldn’t accept that, they were going to crash and burn immediately. He’d seen it happen to plenty of his buddies and he’d rather spare them both the heartache. It wasn’t that he was less upset than she was, he was just used to saying these kinds of goodbyes. They weighed on a person, but in time they became easier.

“Would it help if I reminded you we’ve done this two other times?”

She chuckled, but the small smile after didn’t reach her eyes. “A little.” She looked away, and he let her, not wanting her to feel trapped. “It just feels harder now that we’ve taken things a step further. I knew the moment I said ‘I love you,' that things took a turn for complicated, and I didn’t care. I still don’t, it’s just a lot harder than saying goodbye was after the wedding.”

He wished there was some words of wisdom or a platitude he could say that could make her feel better, but there wasn’t. That was why military relationships were hard—they were one string of goodbyes after thenext.

“You’ll stick to the schedule we made yesterday?” She asked, tears sparkling against her lashes.

“Cross my heart,” he smiled at her, truly meaningit.

She shook her head and finally looked all right when she gazed up at him. “Well, all right then. I will look forward to our bi-weekly calls and will get the international texting added to my plan to make communicating a little easier sometimes.”

He laughed as she snuck in an extra detail. He wasn’t even slightly bothered by the idea that she would do something to make communicating easier, he hadn’t even thought of international texting.

“And that right there is also why you’re the brains behind this relationship.”

“Of course it is,” she wiped her hands over her eyes and let out a deep breath. “You’d better get going. I have a feeling missing flights to Germany is a lot harder to correct than just missing a flight nationally.”

“Just a bit,” he chuckled as he grabbed his bag off the floor by his boots.

Once again he was in uniform, even though it was slightly out of policy to travel in it unless he was reporting for duty. He liked the way she looked at him like he was her hero, so he figured fuck policy. It wasn’t like a lot of other enlisted didn’t do it to get free things or move quicker through lines.

He was delaying the kiss because he knew it would be the last one for a while, at least three months. The idea of not being able to kiss her when he’d gotten so used to it was as unfortunate as it was upsetting, but it was what itwas.

“This is it then,” he said wistfully, leaning down to kiss her as chastely as he could manage. “I will see you at Christmas? If you haven’t gotten sick of me yet thatis.”

“I’ll try not to,” she said with a wink, her usual pep waylaid by a tinge of sadness. “I loveyou.”

“And I love you, Adrianna.” Every time he said the words he felt better, just knowing he had found someone he couldlove.

With a heavy heart, he turned, knowing he’d be unable to walk away backward as he had done the last time. He didn’t wish to see her face as he left, that was too much for him to copewith.

The noise around him was plentiful, and he allowed it to seep into his thoughts as he was ushered through an accelerated security line. He kept his mind empty, doing his best to focus on everything around him instead of the emotions threatening to drownhim.

Each goodbye had been hard when they had merely been hanging up the phone. Leaving for an unknown amount of time was gut wrenching. Keeping his eyes forward, Jaxon dropped his duffle onto the table and pulled out his pathetic bag of travel hygiene. Dumping his cell phone, keys and change into the circular bin he slid that down after his luggage. He had arrived too late to stand in a line to check it in, but he had a feeling they’d door-check it as they typically did for military passengers.

All you have to do is make it to take off without thinking about it and then you can take a nice long snooze until the transfer in London.

“Thank you for your service, Sir.” The TSA agent said with a warm smile.

“Thank you for yours,” he added, genuinely meaning it. Everyone had a part to play, and theirs wasn’t as hazardous, but it protected millions just thesame.

Stepping through into the plastic jail cell, he put his hands up on the markers and sighed as he waited to be told to step through.

“Step on out,” a man said. “Thank you for your service, Sir.”

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