Page 46 of Torn Between Two Worlds

He chuckled and leaned back, more relaxed in his seat. Sipping his coffee, he looked so at home there. So perfectly happy. The thought that he was content there when she hadn't been with him both made her happy and annoyed. But she had no right. She was happy without him as well. The sip of coffee she took threatened to come back up for no apparent reason.How did my life become so out of her control?

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“I'm so sorry, Derrick. I guess I just didn't realize you would want to sightsee so much. I'm sorry we're just sitting in a cafe.” An awkward silence passed over the table, and she felt bad. “So tell me how the scouting went last week.”

They had rarely talked. It had killed her, but she had purposefully missed his calls and had called back when she knew Derrick would be busy, leaving voicemails with the answers to his questions. She was trying to keep things platonic and make sure no one got the wrong idea about the trip and avoiding him had seemed like an okay idea at the time.

His whole face lit up. “Oh, Ci, you should've seen me. I mean really seen me! I was amazing!”

She wasn't really listening as he talked. She couldn't. She'd opened the door to the fretting and worrying about why Stryder had been gone for so long when he’d made it sound as if it was never a big deal.

They were finishing up, and he suggested ice cream.

“Cheap shot.” She smiled and stood, feeling his hand reach out to hers. Only it wasn't to hold. It was to get her attention. He wasn't walking, just smiling at her. His hand was in his pocket, and before she could ask him what was going on, he was down on one knee.

“Ciara Miller. I have loved you since the day you all but fell ass over feet into me on the field at that game. We've been pretending at being married since you lost your parents three years ago. Being here, taking in the beauty and living life, I realized, I don't want to live it without you.”

He pulled a beautiful princess cut solitaire from the black box, and she gasped.

“Will you marry me?”

She heard the murmurs around them. Nausea gripped at her and blackness threatened to cloud her vision.How could this happen? How?Tears spilled down her cheeks. Angry tears. How could he do that to her? She had told him she was seeing someone. What was the point of it, had it all been a set up to try to get back together? Did he think she'd made up the story to make him jealous or something? Her mind was reeling.

“Derrick, I. t I...” her speech was broken up by how much anger she was trying not to unleash.

She was making a spectacle out of herself, and Derrick didn't seem to understand why.

She felt the ring slip onto her finger, and she tore her hand back. A cry wracked her as she took it off and shoved it back at him. She hadn't meant to be so cruel, but her actions were jerky with grief and anger. He got it then, and she couldn't bear the look in his eye. She would never forget it as long as she lived, and her feet were tugging her from the cafe, a chicken running away from her fate.

How could he do that to her? How could he be cheap and sneaky like that? She didn't stop walking until she'd crossed the street and fell onto a bench. Her face buried in her hands, she sobbed until she couldn't anymore. She could feel the stares and hear the comments, but she didn't pull her head up until she felt Derrick’s hand on her back.

His voice was weak, laced with anger, but pain as well. “I don't understand, Ciara. I just don't understand.”

She hiccupped and rubbed her hands over her face, collecting a good deal of wetness and snot before wiping it off on her sundress.

“Derrick, I didn't make the other guy up. I guess you thought I did to try to get back with you in some twisted plot. But I didn't, Derrick.” The weight of the world seemed to lift off her as she said the words, putting power behind the relationship she wanted. She'd expected another round of tears to fall, but they didn't. Relief washed over her, and she didn't understand how she could feel so free after she'd just torn him up worse than she'd ever dreamed.

His face twisted from anger to pain to confusion. “I still don't get it. I won't lie to you, Ciara I think you're afraid. I think that's all this is. I didn't mean to overwhelm you. It just felt so perfect there at the cafe.”

She breathed in and out a few times, trying to find the right words. “Derrick, it's not that. It's been going on since before you left. I know you don't want to hear that, but it's true. I'm so so sorry that you clearly weren't okay with the breakup. I'm so sorry I didn't see that and clearly led you on by mistake.”

He cursed and people stared as they walked by. “I think we need to go to my apartment.”

She nodded slowly, and he stood and led the way. He didn't touch her, didn't look back at her the whole walk. They stopped outside a building that was a mix of Italian beauty and modern art. She wished she could've taken in its beauty, but she was numb. She wasn't taking in anything except Derrick. She'd watched him the entire time. His shoulders squared, he'd walked with his head down, and she felt her heart break for him all over. She felt awful, but it wasn't her fault.

He turned when they walked into his beautiful apartment, and her breath caught. Tears streaked his face, and his eyes were red. His mouth was tense, set in a straight line.

“I can't say I'm happy, but I get it. Shit happens. It's fine. I'll let it go. It's my fault for leaving. I should've asked you to come with me right away. I shouldn't have agreed when you wanted to end things.”

“Derrick, please don't do this. Please.”

For the first time since he’d proposed, she locked eyes with him. He looked away immediately, and she cursed at the same time as he did.

“I don't get it, Ciara.”

“I wish I could say I don't either, Derrick. But I do. When I'm with him, it just feels perfect, complete, as cheesy as that sounds.”

“I'm not going to agree with that, but whatever. I'm sorry I misread your actions. It was my fault.”

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