Page 85 of Servitude to Serpents

Chapter thirty-two

To own is to… Hold

Ican count on three fingers the number of times I ever heard my father yell in anger. I can count ononethe number of times Stuart has yelled at all. Men like us, ones with unlimited power and severely limited morals, rarely need to. When you have means and there’s no line you won’t cross, it rarely gets to yelling. Stuart is yelling now, his face beat red, his hands flying about like he’s battling imaginary bees. All I can think of is her. That she needs me, that I need tofixthis.

I’m sorry is a phrase I’ve used sparingly throughout my life, less so times I’ve used it and meant it.Sorry, like yelling at men like me is a useless tool. Would you ever offer platitudes when it wasn’t forced? When society hadn’t demanded you pop free from the womb ready to apologize for your existence? I’m rarely sorry.

I would say that I am now, but "I'm sorry" doesn't begin to touch the ache in my chest, the way I can’t seem to swallow past my guilt. For her, for my father. I can’t seem to think past what can be done to fix it. My eyes leave the incensed man, flicking back to the security feed, where she sleeps in my bed. When we arrived on land late last night, my on-call physician cleared her. My fists clench; she hasn’teaten. She hasn’t even fuckinglookedat me. I could force it, force her to snap free from whatever trauma has her in its grasp, but I have no right.

I don’t deserve her obedience, not at a time like this, because she’s not just a pet, and I can’t pinpoint the exact moment everything changed—the moment I went from being amused and entertained for the first time in nearly a decade to being fucking obsessed enough to destroy everything I worked for. Everythingweworked for.

“…betrayed your father's memory for a fucking girl! For a fucking girl one wrong step away from total mental decay!”

That anger in me flares, my teeth digging into my inner cheek, because he’s not wrong.

I’ve betrayed him.

His memory.

The sacrifice he made for me.

“Our only connection! The onlyinwe’ve found in a decade, bled to death before he ever made it to land because he threw a girl in the water! I spent my life by your side, fighting for you, cleaning up for you, and you fucking dishonor me! Dishonor your house, your fucking name!”

Breathe. You’re in control.

“Basilisk!” He says it like a sneer. “I remember when they gave you that name! When I felt pride in the man I helped raise! When your father would’ve felt pride in the man he died for, his only fucking child, his only fuckingson. His heir to an empire of fucking serpents!”

You’re in control.

I move away from the windows in my office because if I don’t, I’ll put my fist through the glass. My eyes dart to her on my laptop screen as she moves, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. Her perfect breasts are revealed as the sheets fall, gathering in her lap. Even now, she’s all I can think about. She’s beautiful, the canopy of color from the stained glass basking her in vibrance.

Stuart decides half my attention isn’t enough as he rounds the desk. The pungent smell of alcohol on his breath hits me hard, a stark reminder of his twelveyears of sobriety now gone.

Because ofme.

Because ofher.

“You have clearly lost all sense!”

I stare at him, his eyes vivid in their anger. Where it should dampen mine, it fuels it, feeds off it as he shoves my chest.

You’re in control.

Breathe.

I’m forgetting how to without her here, without using her breath to match mine, a habit I picked up early on. “You’ve been drinking.”

Stuart curses loudly, shoving his finger against my chest. “Of course, I’ve been drinking! I dedicated mylifeto your father, my best friend! I gave mylifeto him and to his son, and you’ve betrayed us both, you son of a bitch!”

Breathe.

“Have you even stopped shoving your cock in her long enough to realize what you’ve done? If Tyet hasn’t already figured out what happened on that boat, they will soon, and they will call forwar.They will call war on this house because without the fucking proof, it’s an act of aggression without cause! The houses will band behind him, and they will come for Serpent. You’ve spent a lifetime making enemies and no allies to speak of! How many more people will die because of that worthless whore in there and your bad calls?”

My fist connects with his face, his teeth cutting my hand as I use the momentum to slam him into the wall. My friend for all my life, my only remaining father, looks at me with such shock, such hurt, that we’re stuck there for a moment. I don’t fight as he shoves me off him, both our chests heaving with the weight of our anger as he wipes the blood off his mouth, some already staining the short white beard on his face. He only nods. “Forty-six years, I have never once raised a hand to you.”

My mind buzzes, rage taking everything, hate taking what’s left behind.

Everything is over.

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