Page 63 of Repossess My Heart

“Take her out now!” The Official commands. It’s a voice edged enough to make you flinch. Like the sound alone prepares you for a hit that hasn’t come.

The guns on Nine’s drone are still out. There’s so much more too, all pointed in different directions. The sounds of other drones slipping into the room fills it with mechanical humming. “She goes nowhere until we have a deal.”

“Why would I care if you destroy a bunch of fucking bots? Why not just have your former brothers kill you here and now?”

“Because I know one of those Migs has information that could put you on the top. That’s what you want, right? One that betrayed Anton once already. That’s who gave them to you, right? A gift from your daddy. With them blown to shit, the Above will have lost their leader-“

“Deal.”

The room erupts into chaos, the Officials at his back jolting to their feet to band around him, some in panic. They look so… human like this it's worse than the alternative somehow. I preferred they stay omnipotent. My chest is still heaving with the force of my cries as the Repo Men too gaggle around each other, whispering about the bomb Nine just dropped. The Down was in charge, and their murmuring is quickly becoming enraged.

They’ve all been lied to. I know the feeling, the frigid edge of betrayal, better than I ever wanted to. I thought the shot he gave me had hurt. Above, I had no idea. My guttural sobs and the manic cries quickly settle, but the torrent never stops. A new age of tears. The thought takes the last of the fight out of me. There’s no one to save now, no people, no Nathan to fight for. I drown out the rest as the Repo Man holding me lessens his grip from bone crushing to almost gentle… kind. His voice is anything but kind as he eggs the others on. Feeding their anger.

I don’t care, I just watch Nine.

Willing him to look at me, to see what he did. That he won.

He fixed me… in the end.

I think the Official in charge yells again, shutting everyone up. My mind is quickly bubbling in and out. “Gut her and report back.” He orders, I don’t fight as I’m jerked away.

I hate you so much… even so, I’m glad you’re getting out. I’m sorry your mother would be disappointed in you. I’m sorry, I think I ruined everything. You gave up your revenge for what? A look at the sun? I can’t say much. It’s hard to miss something you’ve never seen. My heart pounds off kilter in my chest as I’m pulled down a hall. Soon my legs give out too, forcing him to carry me.

CeCe, it looks like it was all for nothing after all.

It’s almost funny, finally getting everything I want, at the exact moment I stopped wanting it.

19

A Tear

Nine

I run the code for the topside elevator over and over again in my head. Searing it into my brain, ensuring myself it was worth it. Promising myself it was worth the fucking awful look on her face.

How could I have ever wanted that?

I’m fucked, wrenched open and bleeding out as the chaos in the room erupts. I’m more Nathan than I have been in years, wearing Nine like a skinsuit. My chest makes an odd shuddering sound and I’m standing in the middle of pure carnage as men that once called me their brother descend on their masters. The screams of the Officials don’t even bring a smile to my face as I turn, heading away from the bloodbath I would’ve given my only remaining arm to be a part of days ago. Right now, I’m no fucking killer. I’m a weak kid hiding in a closet again. Michael walks by my side quietly as I leave the grand room, the sound of her sobs paddling my heart with each step in the opposite direction of her.

Suddenly I’m running, my eyes focused on nothing at all. My thoughts hazed over and washed out byher.Get to the reactors, set the charges and get her out. Six should almost be at the controls by now. By now I hope she knows-

Fuck me sweetling, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.

I had to get her out; I had to make sure there was a way-

A deep breath leaves my lungs as someone steps up, blocking my path in the hall heading towards the belly where they keep the reactors. I don’t bother reacting to them as I unsheathe a blade. Nothing will stop me from her. Nothing-

“So, what’s your plan, Nine? Blow it all to shit?”

My lungs stop along with my brain as that voice drums around my skull. It’s so much deeper than I remember it. I don’t raise my head, instead I stare at Michael’s bloody feet. “Are you real?” I whisper.

“Guess so. Seems I’m just as resilient as my big brother.”

My head snaps up so fast the room wobbles. Ten’s towering form is blocking my path. His shoulder wrapped tightly, just a stump where his arm should be. My palms are slick with sweat, unease pooling in my gut as he jerks his damaged helmet off. The absence of a voice modifier is so obvious now; I can’t believe I never noticed one before. The need to vomit is rapidly growing thicker as the weight of his implanted eye grows heavy in my pocket. The other one still glows brightly, such a dark shade of brown it's nearly black. His hair is still long, but the locks look wrong, not soaked in blood. Unfamiliar.

Child Michael skips towards his older half, stopping in front of him. “We missed you, big brother.”

I feel myself slip back to that place, back to the closet before she brings me back. Her beautiful umber eyes ripe with the agony I inflicted. All for a chance for that future I’d imagined last night. A chance to leave, together.

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