Page 58 of Repossess My Heart

“It would be another lie.”

“…but a pretty one, a tempting one even. Some of the best lies ever told were rooted in truth.” His lips brush my nipple making me gasp, my back arching into him. The peaked bud begging for more of him. More of his touch.

“I feel nothing.” It’s a lie of my own. God, it’s a lie and I think he knows it.

“Then we have work to do.”

My retort is on the tip of my tongue, but the words die there as he overtakes me. His lips capture my nipple as he licks and sucks at the sensitive flesh. In seconds, he wipes away my resolve, a mantle I never wanted. Not until I watched those videos from CeCe, the faint memories of two little boys and their mother. Glimpses and secrets, tears and a sense of righteousness I’ve never had before. I didn’t want this. Above help me, I never wanted to be anything but another nameless corpse he left in his wake. I let him take it from me. Letting him wipe away everything, and for now, it matters just a little less. I’m writhing against him as he swaps sides, capturing my other nipple between his teeth as he lashes it with his tongue making me buck into him. My clit brushing the hard length of his cock until I’m practically mewling against him. Begging and whimpering like a mess.

“I need you.” I gasp, my hands blindly searching for his length.

“My perfect girl… tell me again…”

“I need you inside me. Please, Nathan.”

He pauses his assault on my flesh just long enough to rise back to my eye level. There’s something there in the cold blue depths, something deceptivelywarm.Adoring. You’d think I’d just hung the sun; all I did was call him by his name. My chest constricts as he lifts me, carrying me towards the bed his drone had patched him up on. One still covered in his blood. I don’t look away when he sits me down gently, urging me to lie back for him. I don’t look away as that warmth grows, making needles prick my chest. He sheds his boxers, the flickering light from a nearby brothel shines behind him and he’s every bit a killer. A killer that’s looking at me like I am everything he needs. Everything he’s ever asked for. I see Nathan for the first time. Someone that just wants the pain to stop. The wrongs to feel a little less…wrong.

Pressure builds in my eyes as he descends on me and in that moment, I know we’ve both come to our own revelations. I can see the moment he decides to save me, someone that doesn’t want to be saved. That deep place inside me snaps like a rubber band as his lips crash into mine. Tongue and teeth that’s so customary for him, but he knows I’m not interested in anything gentle. He knows I can take his violence, so he gives it to me, but this time is different. It’s so much more. I moan against his lips as he rips and tears at my clothes, shredding fabric until the chill of the air meets my soaked core. A chill he wipes away by the head of his cock. Grinding it into me until I’m gasping. When his fingers slip down my folds, I’m already on the brink.

My hands knot in his hair as tears brim in my eyes. My head spins as his fingers drive inside my clenching core, twisting and scissoring. I come apart, screaming his name. When he pulls back, I clutch him tighter, hiding from him what he’s needed from me this whole time. What’s daring to show up for the very first time in so many years. He groans, nipping every bit of exposed flesh, and when his girth replaces his fingers, all I can do is hang on. And I do hang on, because I’ve decided something important too. I’ve decided to save Nathan.

From Nine.

17

A Morning Worth Remembering

Fallin with Me by The Struts

Nine

My mind is still groggy with sleep as I rock myself into her. I’m in no rush to wipe away the haze. Allowing myself a moment to imagine this is our lives. Reverie doesn’t want to die; I don’t want to end the world we know and this… this is us. She hasn’t woken up yet, her full soft lips still parted as I eased myself into her. I take it slowly, letting her come around on her own. I won’t demand anything… for a moment. Fucking her of course, but gently. Like this imaginary version of me could. One that didn’t like the sight of her eyes pinched closed in pain, unsure where it bled into pleasure, only knowing that it did somewhere down the line.

Being fine if it didn’t because so is she. Taking what I give her, pain or pleasure with open arms. Her tongue darts out, wetting her shredded bottom lip. Her teeth always seem to be embedded there, chewing and piercing. I’m jealous of her tongue, so I take up the mantel. Tasting and wetting her lips for her, maybe even for the last time. I push away the unsettled feeling that gives me. There’s no room for empathy… regret in a mind like mine. It’s filled to the brim with regrets already and empathy… seems like a horrible thing to have. It was empathy that ruined everything. It was the feeling of loss that stopped my world from turning. Those emotions ran unchecked in the strongest person I knew, and even my mother was crushed under the weight of them. Made ugly and full of hatred until there was nothing left but that. It had taken every part of her.

That’s what made it so easy to become him, Nine.

I became hatred and pain. Agony and regret. I swallowed it faster than it could swallow me. I became it. Inflicted it. Hurt people, hurt people and all that shit. I hurt her. I’m going to continue to do so until I’m dead. I’m going to do it because I have to. It’s what she needs from me. Even though the desire to hurt her, punish her for her eyes being like his has long been traded for the one thing I couldn’t offer him when he needed it most.

Protection.

Nothing has changed for Reverie, but I don’t hold it against her. Someone like me doesn’t need to be adored in return. In fact, I’m quite positive it’s better this way.

“How do you protect someone that wants to die?” I whisper it to her as my hand snakes towards her clit, savoring the journey there. The way her skin feels, the swell of her wide hips and the slickness in her core.

But she’s a part of this world… and deserves to die in it. It’s the right thing to give her what she wants. I’ve never been too concerned with doing the right thing. Even with my questionable moral compass, killing thousands for the sake of revenge isn’t the right thing. I know I couldn’t make the idea of that fill me with any apprehension if I tried. The idea of letting her die there… without knowing how to read, without seeing the sun…

Reverie deserves the sun far more than I ever did.

Her moan fills the room, drowning out the buzzing of ads, announcements and clatter from the street outside. When my eyes leave her body long enough to find hers, they’re staring straight up. Out of the hole in the ceiling of the dilapidated safe house. Myhomebefore they took everything that made it that. Her eyes follow the drifting signs, the long never-ending track of the tube. Flyers and hover buses. I want her attention on me instead. Where it was all last night before her eyes grew too heavy to force open and she passed out on my chest.

“Eyes on me, sweetling.” I order softly, watching as she obeys, like the good girl she is.

She gasps as I quicken my pace. What was a gentle slide in and out becomes hungrier, demanding. It’s hard to pretend when she’s awake, when she looks at me and feels nothing at all. I slip out long enough to lift her above me, sliding her back down on my cock as she lets out the sexiest little whimper.

My fingers dig into her supple flesh as I rock up into her. Her breasts heaving as her long hair blankets us. “It’s a shame I won’t be able to collect your eyes. They would’ve been one of my favorite pieces.”

Some emotion I don’t understand passes over her face, brought about by my tentative confession. It's gone quicker than it appeared. I let the waves of pleasure wash out everything else, especially the pain. The way she’s worked herself under my skin like a fucking rib spreader should scare the shit out of me. She’s torn me apart instead of the opposite. I can’t bring myself to be annoyed by it at all anymore. It’s like she was always meant to be there, a chronic terminal illness of sorts. A sexy terminal illness, with a great ass.

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