Page 14 of For the Love of Layla

“I think there’s something wrong with me.” I admit. I think I’ve kind of always known, but recently these feelings I get…they aren’t normal. Sometimes I scare myself. This feels like as good a time as any to admit that. He frowns, as if he’s considering what I’m saying. “I mean yeah, you’ve cracked your head open, dude.”

Idiot.

“It doesn’t hurt. Maybe I’m dying.” A strange feeling bubbles up in my chest at the prospect as my eyes start to feel weird. Heavy. Is this what you felt? No, it was quick. This isn’t quick. It’s painfully slow.

“Can you at least wait until they release Final Fantasy XI next month? I won’t have anyone to play with.”

Yeah, I guess I can.

I don’t say it out loud, at least I don’t think so.

I lean back in my chair, making a conscious effort not to bounce my leg impatiently while my best friend for well, my entire life goes over spreadsheets and graphs outlining shit that I couldn’t care less about right now. It’s been nearly eleven years since I started Curran Enterprises, the leading multimedia corporation in the US. Out of all the money and perks that come with that, by far the best has been meeting my little star. To think I was against buying out that corporate building and the businesses in it. Not that Blinked makes a lot of money, magazines are pretty well obsolete. It makes her happy, so it stays. To be honest this life, the money, galas, constant rubbing elbows with people I don’t give a fuck about was never my thing. I was bred for it. Bred to dawn whatever face suits the situation best. Whatever the person I want something from will react to.

Manipulative? Certainly. Also, incredibly effective. I learned from the best. All my combined faces could never go up against one of Mother’s.

I’ve always had this other side to me, the face I wear when I’m alone. I get…caught up in things. Mother always said I was anexcitablechild. Whatever the fuck that means, she wasn’t wrong. I’ve always had to work hard to channel in on something, to steer my attention in a certain direction. Track, fencing, hapkido, building Curran Enterprises untilthatday. The day I first laid eyes on Layla Rea Burke; my mask cracked.

My control slipped.

Suddenly it all meant less, my company, status, etc. Proving a point to the silver spoon fed family I came from, all I could see is her. All I could think of was her. In an instant she wiped all other touches from my skin, goals and morality from my mind.

She became my anchor, the thing I could focus on to keep me level.

Except I didn’t stay… level. She drew out all that obsessive intensity I had suppressed. She slipped off my mask that day, laid me bare. Something about her was so raw and delicate. Her scars and insecurities were so fucking beautiful to me. Still, I think I hidmyselffrom her well enough, which makes me feel guilty even now. She hid nothing. Layla never wore a mask. The way she spoke, her body, the way she rolled her eyes at her pompous ass of a boss, she was unapologetically herself despite repeatedly apologizing. There’re still things I don’t know, of course, people that hurt her. Her father for instance, in all our time together she never mentioned him. Not once. He’s dead, long dead actually. The paper bound facts of her life I know, it's how shefeelsabout it that evades me. The fact that I don’t know every single crevasse of her mind like I know her exquisite body irritates me more than it should. I suppose I could’ve spent more time really digging into what made her tick instead of burying my cock in her twenty-four seven, but Laylafeelslike an angel dripped in fucking sin. Feeling her clench and come apart on my dick was the closest I’ve ever been to heaven. She was content there too, always so willing to push herself. Test her limits, so eager to please me.

Such a good girl.

A small smile breaks out over my face. Last night went exactly as I wanted it to. As I had envisioned it. I shook her, knocked her off kilter. I hate that she had to go back to that house alone, the fact that she cried without me being there to hold her twists my gut uncomfortably but doing the dirty work where she’s concerned is something I will never shy from. I sat up for most of the night, watching her sleep on her couch through the cameras I have hidden in her house. All of this is necessary to bring my little star back to me. I knew she was upset after what I did back then. I had no clue she would… leave me. That has been the worst day of my life by far and wide. She stood there in front of me, dry eyed and told me to go. Told me she was done with me.

You’ll never be done with me, Layla…

I tighten my grip on the armrest of my chair, listening to the leather crinkle in protest. I couldn’t react. My heart was shattering. What could I possibly say? What could I possibly do? The hole she bore through my chest is still raw and bleeding. A wound only Layla can balm. It was a mistake what she did, a hiccup. Nothing more. She didn’t mean it, I know that. Still, it was everything I had not to cross the kitchen and snap her fucking neck, or fuck some goddamn sense into her. I should’ve said something. I couldn’t make the appropriate words come out.

Couldn’t make any words come out. I was…scared. It felt like that day all over again. She abandoned me when she knew how much I fucking needed her.

So, I just stood there like an asshole and watched her rip out my heart and stomp it into the dirt like a spent cigarette.

“Mr. Curran.”

Allender breaks me from my thoughts. I suck in a steadying breath through gritted teeth, fighting the urge to cram his face into a fucking blender. “My apologies. What were you saying?”

His jaw ticks. I imagine it would give him no greater pleasure than to do the same to me. Contemptible fuck, unfortunately we’re locked into contract with my mother’s former husband. One of what, twelve? I practically laughed in her face when she asked me to give him a spot at the company, yet here he sits. The fact that she still has so much control over me makes me feel downright homicidal.

“Regarding the Lambert building, the one-year trial is half over for the businesses inside and it’s been our lowest earner. As the head of accounting, I think it’s best we cut our losses, consolidate the internal companies and-”

“No.” I interrupt him, Brandon pinches the bridge of his nose. I don’t care for his social correctness at the moment. It’s been two fucking hours since I’ve checked in on my little star. God knows what she could be doing, who she could be talking to at work.

“Sir, I understand you had high hopes for the building.” He stops, checking the papers in front of him as if he can’t remember the name. “The Blinked.”

Stupid cunt.

I take a sip of my coffee loudly, it’s an awful sound, but it irritates him in particular, so it’s worth it. Brandon adjusts his long hair, pulling it up into a messy bun trying to hide the amused smirk on his face. Allender takes a deep breath before continuing, “Blinked Magazine in particular, my apologies, but the truth is the magazine is hemorrhaging money.” The other board members look at him, wide eyed although I can tell they agree. I clear my throat, fixing my icy stare on the older man, “Their contract stipulated a one-year trial period for turnaround profit with the new business model.”

“Mr. Curran, clinging to a failing magazine to appease your fiancée is hardly a decent-”

I stand abruptly, sending the rolling chair I had been sitting in swooshing backwards. I fight the smile that threatens my face at his words. Calling my sweet Layla my fiancée, she hasn’t agreed yet, but I couldn’t help it when I announced our engagement. “Last I checked, my name is the one on the side of this building and many others. Not yours, Mr. Monet. I have final say in business decisions, that includes this one. As for the rest of the building, I couldn’t care less what you do with them. I think we’ve covered quite enough today.”

Brandon stands slowly, “So we’re in agreement to dissolve all other non-earning businesses in the Lambert building?” I nod my eyes still on Allender, “I will check in on Blinked myself today.” Penelope dabs my shoulder, I twist gripping her wrist and the base of her arm tightly before jerking.

---