Page 6 of For the Love of Layla

“You’re being dramatic. It’s been two weeks tops. Could’ve been sooner if you weren’t getting dicked down every night.”

She gasps as we make it to my car, “Slut shaming in 2022?”

“Not slut shaming, Ava shaming.”

She laughs, giving me a kiss on the cheek before she heads down the busy sidewalk to her office. Her heels clacking against the pavement as leaves blow around underneath her wide legged pants. I look away as she rounds the corner, waiting for traffic to slow before I brave the busy street to reach the divers side door. My heart stops in my chest as a black Cadillac passes me, my eyes falling on the man seated in the driver’s seat for the first time in months. I stop breathing as he passes, his eyes trained on the road. I’m simultaneously grateful and resentful of the fact.

Why today of all days for fuck’s sake?

A deep ache fills my chest as I scramble inside my car. Seeing him shouldn’t affect me like this, not after all this time. My hands shake as I grip the steering wheel tightly. I don’t know why I’m feeling this way; I didn’t cry when I broke it off with him. Not for the first few weeks. It was okay, freeing even. It didn’t hurt until the littlest things started to make me think of him. How well he complimented my everyday life. Providing the affection I craved and then some. I take a deep breath as I start the car, blinking away the treacherous water in my eyes.Burning Pile by Mother Motherfilling the suffocating, quiet space as I pull from the curb. Jumping when the car waiting for my parking spot behind me honks in protest.

Burning Pile by MotherMother

As I walk into my house, the ball of dread and anxiety filling my chest doubles down on itself, expanding until it’s a being of its own. Walking alongside me in a place that’s brought me nothing but comfort before. It’s dark, too dark despite it being the middle of the day. My heels clack down the short hall in the entryway, poking my head around the wall of the living room. My heart thumps loudly in my chest, making my pulse race.

“Peaches, come here, girl!” My small voice bounces off the deep green leafy wallpaper. The thick white blackout curtains are pulled over the large floor to ceiling arch windows. My mind races with all the worst possible outcomes that I have zero bases for thinking might happen as a shiver runs down my spine. Slowly retracing my steps from this morning in my head. I know I didn’t close the curtains. The natural light from the tall double-paned windows is one of my favorite things about the old house. I don’t even close them at night, something Liam used to hate. Citing it as an open invitation for peeping Toms despite the place being a good twenty-minute drive from the neighbors. Peaches clomps up to me, her tan tail wagging excitedly as she nudges my leg. No way in hell anyone could get in the house without her tearing them to shit. “Anything you need to tell me?” I ask her, rubbing her enormous head. She looks up at me with her brown puppy eyes before heading over to the back door. Telling me she wants out; I sigh, shaking my head hoping I can work loose the unease. Seeing him must’ve fucked with my anxiety as most things do. Yay for me. I’ve always struggled to keep it in check. Between my refusal to take my prescriptions for it and constant caffeine intake it’s not out of the realm of possibility that I’ve worked myself up.

Just breathe. You’re perfectly safe here with Peaches. If you’re not grandpa’s guns are just a few doors away.

I open the back door watching as Peaches’ large frame bounds down the steps doing excited circles in the yard before she catches sight of an animal in the wood line darting towards it. “Peaches, no!” I yell, rushing down the stairs. She stops a little way in, the lightness of her fur only barely visible. It would be all too easy for a hunter to mistake her for a deer, especially this time of year. The thought of her getting hurt makes my chest ache, the way it often does these days. If it wasn’t for her being here, I don’t know what I would do.

Set up camp outside your therapist’s office. Cry a lot. Lose yourself to the abyss. The last one might be a bit melodramatic.

Her eyes stay on the woods, her tail wagging excitedly. “Come!” Her oversized head snaps towards me as she reluctantly heads in my direction. Last time she got away from me, it took Liam and me hours to find her in the thick forest. As much as I love my dog, the fact that she was a gift from my ex doesn’t help the whole moving on thing. That’s what tonight is for, right? It’s been months and all of this still feels so…wrong.Like Liam fucked my heart so thoroughly everything after him seems underwhelming,

Six Months Ago, Layla

I squeeze my eyes shut tightly, fighting the urge to peek as Liam leads me to an undisclosed location. My heart pounds in my chest as tall grass scrapes against my bare legs, my anxiety demands I open them just a bit to confirm. I suck in a sharp breath as Liam bends down, his lips grazing my ear, “If you peek again, I will edge that sweet cunt of yours until you cry.” He warns, the threat sending heat to my core.

I should peek. I really, really should.

“Not much of a deterrent, Mr. Curran.” I taunt him. A squeak leaves my throat as he jerks me off balance, making me collide roughly into his tall frame. “So impersonal little star, I fucking hate that.” He whispers, smashing his lips into mine, kissing me deeply. Breaking that kiss only for a second, “Call me Liam.” I wrap my arms around his shoulders as I melt into him, his tongue dancing in perfect tune with mine. He groans as he pulls away, his hands going to my waist as he lifts me up, sitting me on something metal. I run my fingers over the grooved surface. A tailgate? Liam doesn’t seem like a truck guy. I suppose when you have that much money, why not buy a truck?

“Open your eyes.”

I giggle with excitement as I open up my eyes, my heart clenching in my chest. “Liam…” I whisper, unable to find words for what I’m feeling. What even am I feeling?

“You said you’d never been to a drive-in, so I made one for you.” His deep blue eyes shine with boyish pride as he runs his hands through his tousled copper hair. He looks so casual like this, his light gray t-shirt showing off the black ink tattoos that line his toned arms. A far cry away from the millionaire powerhouse he actually is.

He’s pretty cute when he’s trying to impress me. Which never takes much.

I just gawk at the monstrous projector screen in front of us, a table is sat up a little way in front of it with covered plates for what I assume is dinner. Fireflies dance around the tall grass as twilight sets in. It looks like a set from a movie, not something someone does in real life. Much less for someone you’ve been dating for less than a month, “Wait, you made this?”

This is husband stuff. Let you put it in my butt level sweet.

He chuckles, looking down as he shoves his hands in his pockets, “Well yeah, the base structure at least. This was just undeveloped land I own, so why not put it to use?” I shake my head in disbelief. The structure even has an awning over the screen in case of rain. Tears prickle in my eyes, nobody has ever done anything like this for me. Like ever.

“I even brought all of your favorite horror movies.” He gestures behind us as he hops up beside me, the bed of the truck is piled full of blankets and pillows. I stare at it, swallowing the lump in my throat. Praying he won’t see the tears in my eyes, like the lame little looser I am.

He did all this for me.

“Fuck, Layla, I’m dying here, say something.”

I laugh, “It’s amazing, you’re amazing. Thank you.” Throwing my arms around him, he grabs me back even tighter inhaling deeply as he buries his face in my hair. I pull back, kissing him lightly before I meet his deep eyes that I swear the entire ocean resides in.

“I thought you didn’t like it.” He admits shyly, avoiding my eyes for a moment. God it’s cute.

“No, it’s just, you didn’t have to go through all this trouble for…me. I’m nothing special.”

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