Page 54 of For the Love of Layla

Yandere by Jazmin Bean

After I ran from the office, I drove. I drove to the cemetery, past Curran Enterprises. I drove everywhere I could think of waiting for this self-destructive impulse to wean. It didn’t. The more I drove the longer his violation sank into my skin. The more I planned, the more I thought of all the ways I could hurt him for this. For everything. I took back roads until the sun dipped behind the trees and every single one of them brought me home.

I can feel his eyes on me, setting me on edge the way only he can as I rush inside my house. Nearly tripping over Peaches as I go, I don’t look at the holes in the walls or my broken furniture as I throw open the bedroom. The only bedroom left untouched byhispresence. If I close my eyes and concentrate sometimes I can hear my grandpa’s footsteps, feel him walking around these halls.

He would be so ashamed of me. I’m ashamed.

That thought should bring tears to my eyes. The bitter truth of those words should have me crumbling in on myself. The only thing it does is throw fuel on the fire already burning me from the inside, melting down every sliver of self-control I had left. I jerk the gun cabinet open, taking the double-barrel shotgun from inside. It’s pure muscle memory as I break open the barrel, loading two shells. I’ve never actually shot the fucking thing before, the loud jarring sound never mixed well with my anxiety, but that’s fine.

I don’t have to be an excellent shot for what I have in mind. I just need to shock him, make him slip up. All I want is to rip that control he wields to shreds.

As soon as my feet hit the grass, I point the gun at the wood line, “I know you’re fucking out there! Come out now! You want me, here I fucking am!” Birds scatter from the trees, but I’m met with silence. An entire month of constant contact, constant calls and texts, all of his sweet words, promises and threats and I’m met with fucking silence. I know he’s out there, just beyond the trees. I canfeelhim.I hate these woods. Taking a last glance at the moon making its way higher in the sky before I set off for them.

I don’t want to go inside. I really don’t want to go inside.

I keep screaming as I walk between the trees, “You really should’ve kept your mask!”

The only sign I’ve got his attention is the occasional snap of a branch, the light from my yard getting darker and smaller the deeper in I go. The deeper I descend into the madness he curated just for me.

“Come out now!”

Another snap, closer this time. My skin prickles as the icy wind whips around me, then I smell it.

Him.

I jerk in the direction letting off a single round from the shotgun. Pain erupts in my shoulder as it kicks back against me, knocking me off balance. I fall on my ass dropping the gun. That’s all it takes for him to get the advantage. An advantage he only let me think I had. Another lie, another fucking taunt. My breath is knocked from my lungs as he barrels into me from behind, my ears still ringing as he slams me into the dirt. “What were you going to do with that, huh? We’ve already established you don’t have it in you to kill me.” A sickening laugh leaves my throat as I struggle to turn underneath him, his large hand keeping my head pushed into the dirt as he straddles me. “I’ve done it before. The hate I feel for you far outweighs what I felt for him.” I spit, soil working its way into my mouth.

I gasp as the skin of his face graces my cheek, “Hate and love go hand in hand,lítla stjarna. Seems we’re right where we should be. Now use your big girl words and explain to me what’s got you so worked up tonight. There’s nothing we can’t get through together.”

I scream in frustration, kicking helplessly at his back, “You took my IUD! You took everything from me, you sick fuck, and you couldn’t even leave my fucking choice! It’s my fucking body, you’re sick!” My voice is guttural and unfamiliar even to me. He immediately eases up on my stomach. The tone in his voice makes my heart seize in my chest, “Are you pregnant?”

“No! Thank fucking God, why would you think for one fucking second I would ever carry a child you put in me?” I spit back, making him go completely still, save for the growl that forms in his chest.

I hope that broke your crazy fucking heart.

“You shouldn’t say things like that. I’d love to make you eat your fucking words.” He warns before nipping roughly at my neck. I struggle more as he jerks at my pants, letting go of my head. Arousal mixing with my anger.

I hate myself. I hate myself more than I hate you.

As soon as he leans down closer, I jerk my head backwards, he grunts as it collides with his nose, allowing me just enough leverage to slip from underneath him. I trip over myself, my legs tangled in my pants as I frantically kick my legs free. Shallow breaths burn my raw throat as his bone chilling laugh comes from behind me. “I’ll admit, that was a good hit, but now you’re going to fucking pay.” I shove myselffrom the unforgiving forest floor, leaves and twigs biting into my flesh as I take off deeper into the woods that still strikes so much fear into me.

It’s dark, so dark.

As I dash between trees, that old panic I felt all those years ago creeps in. Lost out here alone, the memory makes that stupid part of my brain hope he catches up with me. A thought I immediately regret as his pounding footsteps grow closer. A yelp leaves my mouth as something hard collides with the back of my head, sending me tumbling.

“You hit me…” I groan as I roll to my back, his dark figure stepping over me as black spots dot my vision, the back of my head throbbing.

I can’t see it, your face. I need to see you.

“You tried to leave me.” He says breathlessly, his voice pitched up. “Can’t have you getting hurt out here, baby.” I strain to focus my eyes, his outline darkened by the warm toned full moon hovering above him. I whimper as he lifts me up, jerking me over his shoulder. My body hangs limply as I watch his heavy black boots crunch against the leaves, his arm tightening around me. It isn’t until I see the see the shotgun clenched in his fist that I realize what he hit me with. I groan again, trying to flex my numb fingers and toes as I strain against his hold. “Why won’t you let me see you? You gave up your mask.”

“All of our time together and you haven’t figured out that’s what I want most? To beseenby you. I'll let you see me, I’m ready to be done with this. It’s you, Layla. You haven’t tried fucking hard enough.”

His words shake me from my daze, reinfecting me with adrenaline. I bend down, nestling my head into his strong back before biting down as hard as I can, making him lurch, I imagine his blood seeping from the wound before jerking away. He gets less than a second to recover before I start flailing and bucking wildly against him. My head throbs, making my vision blur.

“FUCK!” He grunts as he loses his grip on me, that voice… where do I know that voice? He scrambles for me as I fall, my face colliding with the unwavering ground. I know that hurt, I’m sure I’ll actually feel it later, but right now all I care about is getting to my car. I don’t know which direction or how far I actually run, only that when I see the wood line I let out a sob of relief. He’s close, too close. I stop as I stumble out into my backyard, screaming as just fingertips catch in the tangles of my hair. Ripping a clump free as I jerk forward, running around the side of the dark farmhouse.

“Layla, get back here right now!” He growls as I grip the handle to my car, grateful I was too pissed off to remove the keys from the ignition. I can hear Peaches rapid angry barking coming from inside as I slip into the seat, slamming the door behind me. Locking them while my breath comes out in sobs as I turn to look back at him only to be met with nothing. I don’t question it, nor do I wait for him to reemerge. Stomping on the gas before the car even turns over. I peel out of my driveway as a dark figure steps from the woods. Looking every bit the specter he is. My hand shakes as I reach around the back of my head, whimpering as my fingers find it damp with blood. He hurt me, he really hurt me. I’m hurt, and it’s hard to drive, but I can’t stop. I won’t, not for anything.

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