Page 93 of Premonition of Peace

I turned to face her, definitely lost. “For what?”

“For Prudence,” she continued. “I believe you. I always have. Pru always had a cruel streak and was too jealous and impulsive for her own good.”

I snorted softly. “That’s putting it mildly.”

A reluctant smile touched Katherine’s lips. She nodded toward Lucifer, August, and Marcel. “Well, we can’t help who we fall in love with, can we?”

“No, I suppose we can’t.” I glanced over at my guys, a warm feeling spreading through me despite the heaviness of the moment. I fidgeted with my thumbnail, looking down at it while I tried to find the courage to say more. “If you didn’t blame me, why . . .? Everything that happened between us started there.”

“Grief. Anger. Jealousy that you got away,” she said simply. “It was a bottomless pit of unimaginable sorrow, yearning for one more chance to be with the one you love, only to be met with denial and loneliness. I had no way to process it. Our family certainly didn’t help it.” She huffed, shaking her head. “I’m also as stubborn as you. We share that trait.”

Silence fell between us again, and for a second, we watched Marcel cleanse the athame in ritual. I couldn’t find the words to say it but knowing that she didn’t blame me alleviated a guilt that was so heavy, I’d grown used to bending over to carry it. But I didn’t let the silence sit between us for too long. This was my last chance, and I wanted to say everything I hadn’t.

“I don’t blame you either.” She looked at me for an explanation, and I gave her the best one I could. “For everything that happened with Marcel, our family, The Morrigan—I realize now that there were a lot of things about our family that I got to evade when I left. You didn’t. You were grieving and alone and left withthem. You didn’t deserve to carry the weight of their sins any more than I did.”

For a second she just blinked at me, her eyes misting over before she pulled herself back together. “Our family was so fucked up, but you were always the best of us, Nat. It only makes sense that you’ll be the last Le Fay. You’ll leave an entirely new legacy to our name. Something good.”

I sniffled, trying to hold back the tears. “Tell Prudence I’m sorry, for what it’s worth. I don’t regret it, but it was unfortunate all the same . . . I don’t imagine she cares, but?—”

“She doesn’t blame you either, you know.”

“That’s . . . surprising.”

“Oh, she absolutely did at first.” Kat chuckled and shook her head, a sad, tiny smile curling up one side. “She caused it. She knows that now. Death . . . death changes a person, oddly enough. I’ll tell you the same thing I told her. If that day had been different, and it had been you dead and Marcel alive, I would have done the same thing. I would have taken the life of anyone in that room if it meant saving you. It wasn’t personal.”

Without thinking, I closed the distance between us and pulled her into a tight hug. Katherine embraced me just as fiercely, something she hadn’t done since we were children, when she was my protector.

“I love you,” I whispered, my voice cracking with emotion. “I hope that you find everything you’re looking for in the veil.”

Katherine’s grip tightened around me. “I love you too, Nat,” she replied, her voice muffled against my shoulder. “I hope you get to live the life you’ve always deserved.”

We held each other for a few more seconds before the moment was broken by Marcel’s voice calling out from across the graveyard.

“It’s time.”

Katherine gave me one last, lingering pat on the back before stepping away from me and walking with sure steps toward the ritual circle.

“Only one person here knows what this looks like,” Marcel began, flicking his eyes to mine briefly, addressing the others as they closed in around the outside of the salt barrier, “and even now it will look slightly different. We’re trying to lure Sasha back, and she’s been gone for some time. The salt gives us a stronger window, so don’t fucking cross it. Sienna’s blood is our lure. Nothing fancy. Just a cut on the hand.”

Sienna nodded, squeezing her hands together.

“But . . . you’re going to have to”—he paused, swallowing thickly.

“Say it, Marcel,” I whispered.

Sighing, he closed his eyes. “You’re going to see me kill Kat. If you can’t handle it, turn around. Leave. Whatever you need to do.”

“Then what?” Anders asked.

“Then I chant until dawn,” he answered softly.

“All night?” Piper asked, and he pressed his lips together firmly, gently inclining his chin.

“And silence. Give him silence,” I added. “It’s a grueling thing to chant that long.”

There was a general rumble of agreement. That meant we were once again, out of time. I finally dragged my feet forward, moving into the space Lucifer and August had left between them. Everyone spectating took a seat as Marcel held out his hand for Kat and she stepped over the salt.

Katherine assumed her position next to Sasha’s lifeless body, laying down directly in front of me within arm’s length. As she spread out, she arranged herself easily into the proper placement. Marcel set the cleansed athame on top of her stomach, keeping it off of the ground. Kat tilted her head towards the sky, staring up at the stars and full moon that illuminated everything.

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