Page 89 of Premonition of Peace

A brush of a hand here. A massage there. The guys were comforting me as I talked. It wasn’t sexual in nature. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but it was only getting worse as the time went on now that we were alone. I jumped, startled when long fingers touched my thigh on my outstretched leg.

My eyes locked onto Lucifer’s pale fingers as his thumb rubbed circles just above my knee.You’ve got to be kidding me.I trailed my gaze up and Lucifer was staring at me, his eyes concerned.

“Do you want to talk about whatever has you rattled?”

My lips parted. What? “How do you?—”

“Because weknowyou,” Marcel interjected. “You’re a good liar, sunbeam, but something has you shaken.”

That was putting it mildly.

Whatever was happening with my body was weird, but the thought of my dead others cooled the heat that was burning inside me. “I . . . lost some of my selves. In the fight.”

Lucifer’s expression shuddered. August’s hands tightened around my waist. Marcel’s gaze sharpened. “Your selves?”

I explained how my mind worked. That it wasn’t just the memory loci, but that there were versions of me. My personality. When I came to talking about each of them though, I choked. I just—couldn’t.

“I feel broken,” I whispered.

August shifted, handing me over to Marcel who sat beside us at the head of the bed. “You’re not broken,” August reassured me, running his fingertips down my temple and across my cheek. “You’re a survivor.”

“They’ll be back,” Lucifer added. “I’m with Bad Nat on that.”

“I hope so.” I tilted my head back to rest against Marcel’s chest. The familiar comfort only lasted a moment before I found myself hyper-fixated on where we touched.

What the hell was wrong with me?

Why was I thinking about sex of all things right now?

“I want you to know that I have never felt more fear than when I found you on that roof and you wouldn’t wake up,” Lucifer said quietly. His admission didn’t surprise me but admitting it in front of Marcel and August did.

My heart ached at the slight crack in his voice, but with every sweep of his thumb over my exposed skin, my body thrummed with adrenaline. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

“I tried to get to you,” he added, his eyes boring into my meaningfully, “but I couldn’t get inside of your mind.”

“I won’t be diving headfirst into situations alone again,” I said, breath hitching.

He squeezed my thigh, and the pressure resounded in my core. “Good, but you’ll have to forgive me if I’m not sure I’m going to let you out of my sight for the foreseeable future.”

“Agreed,” Marcel cut in and,for the love of the gods, he put his hand on my other thigh and started massaging gently. “Don’t scare us like that again, sunbeam.”

Just barely resisting squirming, I cleared my throat and choked out, “I won’t, I promise.”

Silence filled in the cracks of our conversation, and my eyes finally took in August fully, realizing he was uncharacteristically silent. Had been for a while now. His eyes were trained on my comforter, lying on his side with his head propped in his hand. Despite the lounge position, his body was tense, his jaw tight.

I cocked my head slightly and watched him for a moment before calling his name, “August?”

He hesitated for a second and then his eyes met mine. “Yes, sunling?”

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” His expression contorted, flickering with a mix of unease.

“Nothing, I’m okay.” I frowned at him, continuing to stare as if to sayyeah right, spit it out.With a deep exhale through his nose, he pulled his eyes to the ceiling and said, “I think the fervor is starting.”

The hands on my thighs stilled.

Of course. For a second, I felt intense relief. I couldn’t understand what was happening. I thought I was now one of the people who got turned on by my grief. It had never happened before. Sex to relieve my stress? All day, yes please. Sex to relieve my sadness? It just wasn’t me. But this made sense. I was just going into heat for my soulmate. Or something like that.

“That explains a lot,” I admitted softly, and his eyes found mine again, pupils blown wide. “Weird timing, huh?”

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