Page 14 of Rot

We’d all die eventually. There was no point in being scared of it. There was nothing more natural, nothing more magnificently beautiful than the cold, unflinching embrace of death itself.

Whatever enigma Elias was, I wouldn’t discover his secrets tonight. I made it my mission then, to decipher him, peel back his outer layers, and really see what made him tick.

I didn’t know how long I sat there with Jordan, half-assedly holding up a conversation with him, but it felt like ages.

And, God, it was torturous. Jordan had graduated away from talking about Blackrain and moved on to his own achievements. He was the high school’s star quarterback, I guess, although given the month it was, he was no longer playing any games. He’d gotten a scholarship to some college somewhere.

It was all very boring. I did my best to pretend to be interested in him and whatever the hell he was saying, but it was hard. Very, very difficult. I’d done a lot of things in my life, but this might just be the hardest.

The night wore on, and everything was boring me, including Jordan and whatever the hell he was talking about now. I was ready to walk home, for fuck’s sake, just to end the night right there and then.

But then I saw Dana get up. She offered Elias her hand. He didn’t take it, of course, but he stood up with her. After that, they went off together, away from the warmth and light of the bonfire and deeper into the woods.

Something in me sprang to life. I wanted to follow them, to see what they were doing. I wasn’t stupid; I knew what they were probably going to do, but that didn’t stop me from wanting the confirmation of seeing it for myself.

Jordan was busy talking about something—I didn’t even know what, honestly—when I turned to him and blurted out the first excuse that came to my mind: “I have to pee.” Never mind the fact that I’d only drank a single sip of the drink he’d gotten me.

His eyebrows went up. “Oh, uh, okay.”

“I’ll be right back,” I said, abruptly standing. I left my cup on the ground as I walked away, heading to the wood line and abandoning the party. More people had shown up while I was stuck talking to Jordan; the count nearly doubled. The party was hopping now. With any luck, Jordan would get distracted by some other girl, or his friends, or whatever, so he wouldn’t be able to pay attention to how long I was gone.

I headed straight for the wood line. It wasn’t where Elias and Dana had disappeared to, but that was my plan. I’d walk away from the bonfire, through the woods for a ways, and then I’d make a loop around to where I’d seen them go. Who knew? I might not even find them. They might’ve walked farther away than I anticipated.

No one stopped me from going, although I was pretty sure Jordan watched me as I went. Not sure why. I wasn’t stellar in conversation, nor was I the prettiest girl around. The only thing I had going for me was how short I was and how innocent and naive I could make my features look. I didn’t know how to do makeup. I didn’t know how to dress to the newest styles—that had been all my grandmother’s doing. I didn’t know how to flirt, not really.

But maybe I’d learn while in Blackrain. It was a skill I’d be better off knowing.

It didn’t take me long to start the loop. Once I hit the edge of the trees and was out of sight from the partygoers, I picked up my pace while trying not to make a whole bunch of noise. It was easier said than done. With so many trees around, the ground was rife with dead leaves and broken-off sticks that crunched when you stepped on them.

If you asked me why I was going, I’d tell you I was curious. That’s all. I had to know if Elias and Dana were a thing, and if they were a thing, were they dating or just hooking up? You’d think, if they were dating, Elias wouldn’t spend so much time at home, being all broody.

But, beyond that, it was more than plain curiosity that guided my steps tonight. It was a need, not a want. I needed to go, needed to see, needed to hear. Maybe a part of me, a deep, deep part of me, wondered if Elias could do it, why couldn’t I? If he could ignore his anger long enough to fuck someone, couldn’t I ignore the rot long enough to do the same?

I’d never wanted to have sex. I’d never wanted to kiss someone before. Those desires had never flitted across my mind, but now… well, let’s just say things might be different here, for more reasons than one.

After walking for a while, I began to wonder if I’d overshot my estimate, if I’d made the loop around too large and somehow missed them, but right then, what would you know, I heard the telltale sounds of two people going at it.

Grunts. Sighs. Quick breaths and deep-throated moans.

As soon as I heard the sounds, I clung to the nearest tree. The moon was out, but the tree canopies overhead blocked much of its silver light. Still, there was enough light for me to see as I slowly peered around the tree, trying to find the source of the sounds.

About thirty feet away, I spotted them. Doing it against a tree much like the one I hid behind, were Elias and Dana. I couldn’t see Dana; Elias’s body blocked her out pretty well, minus her legs. His pants were down, around his ankles, and from what I could see, she was pinned against the tree while he fucked her.

Dana’s voice came out all fluttery and feminine, so light I hardly could hear it with the distance between us, “Harder, Elias.” She let out a sharp cry after that; I couldn’t tell if it was because he did, in fact, go at her harder like she wanted, or because of something else.

Based on what Elias said next, I’d put my money on the latter: “I told you: shut up. I don’t want to hear your voice.” Even balls-deep in her, he still sounded so angry, so consumed by whatever ate him up inside.

I watched them for a few more seconds, and then I withdrew my gaze, leaning the back of my head against the tree I clung to. I could still hear them, still hear the grunts and the other primal sounds leaving them, as clearly as I could if I was beside them. I angled my head up and closed my eyes.

For someone whose curiosity had gotten her into a whole lot of trouble throughout her life, in no short amount thanks to the rot in me, I’d never gotten curious about sex before. I’d never cared. But in that moment, with my eyes closed, with the night air caressing my cheeks, the sounds of Elias and Dana going at it like animals nearby, I let myself wonder.

What would it be like? Would I enjoy it? Would I hate it? Would I become a slave to it, like so many other people seemed to become? Would the rot in me taint it so badly I’d never want another person touching me like that again, or would the rot get off on it and grow and get stronger because of it?

I let myself wonder what it’d be like. With my eyes closed, it was easy enough to picture myself in Dana’s place. Having what was surely rough hands on me, feeling something hard piercing me over and over between the legs.

My heart did something strange as I imagined it.

It quickened. It beat harder in my chest, a signal that, yes, I might actually enjoy something like that.

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