Page 40 of Rot

“No, we just stopped for food, first,” I told them.

Leah said, “Good plan, getting some food in before. It helps. I should’ve eaten more, but I’ve been feeling too bloated this week—” Anya interrupted her to tell her she looked great, but Leah wouldn’t have it.

I watched the girls go back and forth, wondering if that’s what friends did. Girl friends, I should say, because I doubted Jordan had these types of conversations with Alex, John, and Tod. Talking about weight and looking good and blah, blah, blah. It was difficult for me to stay interested.

Thank God, Jordan came back with two cups. One he handed to me, and then he slung his arm over my shoulder, causing both Anya and Leah to lift their eyebrows in surprise, even as their boyfriends moved to their sides.

“Let’s sit down somewhere,” Jordan suggested.

As a group, we searched for a spot to sit, and once we found one, everyone sat down. Leah and John leaned against a tree, Leah practically on his lap. Anya was beside Tod, though there wasn’t an inch between them. Jordan kept his arm around me, which made me have to sit slumped.

It wouldn’t be so uncomfortable if it was Elias’s arm, because Elias was bigger. Way taller. Plus, his warmth was the only warmth I wanted seeping into my body.

“Is your sister here?” Anya asked Jordan.

“Uh, yeah, probably” was Jordan’s answer.

Anya rolled her eyes and huffed, “Probably hoping Elias will show his face, you mean. She could have anyone in the school—” She paused when she remembered her boyfriend, and she shot him a pointed look. “Almost anyone, I mean, so I don’t know why she won’t give it up.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of desperate,” Leah agreed. She looked at me. “You’re living with him, so tell us: does Dana have any chance with him, or is she just wasting her time? Not that you could ever tell her that, though.”

All eyes were on me. I was careful in my reply, “I think she’s wasting her time. Elias is… well, he’s still pretty torn up over what happened to his dad. I don’t think he’s ready for a real relationship.” At least, not with any of these people.

Now, with me? That was another story.

The others nodded, as if they understood what Elias was going through. They thought they had him pegged as someone who’d lost himself to anger and depression after so suddenly losing his father three years ago, and maybe, to a certain extent, it was true. But, I’d learned there was so much more to Elias than met the eye, things these people would never understand.

Time passed and the night wore on. I began to feel disheartened. I’d really hoped Elias would show his face tonight. I thought seeing me walk away with Jordan would kick him into high gear, but apparently I’d been wrong.

Leah and John eventually wandered off to get some privacy, while Anya and Tod did the same a few minutes later. That left me sitting alone with Jordan, watching the party from our spot on the ground.

“Want more to drink?” Jordan asked. His cup was empty. Mine, on the other hand, had hardly been touched. I wanted to be in a clear mind space tonight. No fuzziness for me.

I shook my head. “No.”

“I’ll be right back.” He got to his feet, holding onto his cup, and walked over to where the beer was to get himself more.

Now that I sat there alone, I couldn’t hide how annoyed I was at this night. My shoulders slumped, a frown formed on my face, and I gazed at the others having fun, wondering why I couldn’t have fun with them. Truly, the only time I had any semblance of fun was when I was being antagonistic toward Elias or my mother… or letting the rot take over.

It was as Jordan was refilling his cup that I saw a tall figure looming around the opposite edge of the party. Probably a hundred feet away from me, maybe less. It was hard to tell, at first, but when my eyes focused on him, I was able to see just who it was, and my heart did a little flip in my chest when it dawned on me.

Elias. He did come. He was here. He was just creeping around the party, not making himself known.

How long had he been here? When did he arrive? I’d be lying if I said my nerves didn’t feel more antsy, now that I knew Elias was here, too. My breathing came out a little rougher, and I struggled to remain where I was, waiting for Jordan. All I really wanted to do was get up, go over to Elias, and…

Well, do stuff we probably shouldn’t. But what was a cousin to me that I’d never seen? What was a cousin to me that I hadn’t even known existed until recently? Just a stranger with a bit of shared blood. Not that much, really.

Jordan returned to me, and as he walked, he was checking something on his phone, but that phone went away the moment he sat down next to me, sipping from his cup. “So,” he started, but he didn’t say anything else.

I said not a word, staring at Elias’s figure, wondering why Dana wasn’t swooping in on him and hanging all over him. It was then I had a horrifying thought: what if she had, and I’d missed it? What if Dana and Elias had crept away from the party to get busy in the woods, get a quick fuck in, and had come back, all without my noticing?

The thought made me unreasonably angry, and my fingers clenched into fists on my lap. With a blink, I could see red, picture all the things I’d do to Dana if I could get my hands on her in private.

“The others will probably be gone for a while,” Jordan was busy saying, and I was measured in turning my face toward him to stare at him instead of Elias’s figure. “There’s a lake not too far from here. I could show it to you, if you want.” He took another sip from his cup.

A lake. Would Jordan try to make a move at this lake? Would he try to kiss me, or more? And then, of course, how would I react if he did? With how I currently felt, I couldn’t say that I’d push him away. Maybe I’d give Jordan a second chance to prove himself, to see if he could touch me like Elias had that night.

“Sure,” I said. “Let’s go.”

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