Page 36 of Rot

Elias got in the car, dropping the bag onto my lap. Was it… for me? As I went to unroll it and check out what was inside, Elias said, “It was all he had, but he’ll get more for me.”

A small container sat within, and my eyebrows creased as I dug it out. I opened it and counted four weeks of pills, though one week was made up of brown pills. My heart skipped a beat as I stared at the pills. There was only one thing they could be.

Birth control pills.

Elias leaned over the center console, taking hold of my face and forcing me to take my eyes off the pills and bring my stare to him. “The next time I’m inside you,” he murmured, “I’m not pulling out.” He let go of me so he could back us up and get us going while I stuffed the pills back in the bag and put them in my backpack.

So that was why he’d ignored me? Because if he didn’t ignore me, he’d want to fuck me, and the next time he fucked me, he wanted to come inside of me? I didn’t know what to think of that, but it made me blush in a way nothing ever had before.

Elias was the one who broke the silence of the car after a while, “That’s why my mom feels so guilty. She left her parents and your mom all those years ago, and then that happened. No wonder she ignored me when I told her I didn’t want you guys living with us.”

“Oh, come on. We’re not that bad, are we? Well, my mom is… whatever, but surelyI’mnot that bad?” I doubted he’d be getting me on birth control if I really was unbearable. He might say he hated me, or that he didn’t like me, but you didn’t plan on fucking someone religiously if there wasn’t at least something there, right?

Or maybe I was just being used by Elias, because he still didn’t see the real me. I’d have to change that.

Elias didn’t say anything to that, and that could only mean one thing: he wasn’t sure about me. He still wanted to pretend that he hated me. Try to use me while he could and then, whenever the hell my mother and I left, he’d forget about me.

But that’s the thing Elias didn’t understand. Now that I’d found him, I’d make damn sure we weren’t going anywhere.

Chapter Twelve

Elias didn’t visit me in the darkness all week, but I assumed that was because birth control pills took a little while to take full effect. I’d started taking them in the mornings; had to set my alarm early for even the weekends to take them at the same time. A sacrifice I was more than willing to make in the name of Elias.

Friday rolled around. I still sat with Jordan and his friends at lunch, though I did toss glances at Elias by himself near the windows every now and then. I caught him glaring more than once. Hey, if he was going to pretend he just wanted to fuck me and nothing else, I could sit with whoever I damned well please.

He couldn’t claim me and own me and refuse to be seen talking to me in public. That’s not how it worked. That’s not how I’d let it work. Elias might be used to getting his way, he might be used to everyone fearing him so much that they fell in line, but by the end of this, I’d make him know the truth.

I wasn’t like anyone else. I was of my own breed with my own inner rot as my companion. My darkness knew no bounds. Elias would see that soon enough.

Dragging my attention back to the group before me, I listened in to the conversation being had at the table. Tod and John were busy talking about some party being thrown in the woods tonight, and Anya and Leah were chatting about what they were going to wear, whether they’d dress for the inevitable chill of the night or not. Alex mainly listened, though he quipped in with a funny comment every now and then to both conversations.

Parties in the woods. They seemed to like that out here, probably due to the fact that none of their houses were particularly party-worthy. Not big enough. Not enough rooms for people to hook up in. So why not the woods? Naturally.

Jordan was quiet as his friends talked, but eventually he turned his amber eyes toward me and gently nudged me with his elbow. “What do you think?”

I blinked. “What?” Sure, I’d been listening, but not really. I didn’t really care what went on around Blackrain on the weekends. I was busy wondering if Elias would creep into my room tonight. How long would he wait until he visited me again?

Jordan grinned. “The party. You want to go? I can pick you up at seven. We could get dinner somewhere before?” A boy eager, hopeful for a second date with a girl he thought was interested in him. Oblivious and stupid.

I resisted the urge to glance at Elias again, though with my peripherals, I was pretty dang sure I saw Dana at his table, trying to talk to him, reaching out to touch his arm. He wasn’t shrugging her off or pushing her away. Even though I wasn’t full-out staring at them, I could feel prickles of jealousy threatening to take over inside.

Oh, no. I didn’t like that at all. I think, this time, I’d have to teach Elias a lesson.

“Sure,” I said, forcing out a smile to match Jordan’s. “Let’s do it.” My answer made Jordan excited, and he rubbed his hands together and joined in the conversation with his friends.

I could picture it now: Elias would find out I was going on another date with Jordan, this time to a party. He’d flip out, try to order me not to go, and what would little old me do? I’d laugh. I’d laugh at him, in his face. I’d tell him he had no right to tell Sloane Karnagy what to do.

No one did.

By God, if I was going to be his, he would be mine. I guess we had to play a few more rounds of the game before the results came in. So, it was a good thing I liked playing games. It was what I was good at. Made life a bit more fun.

I checked out of the table’s conversation the rest of lunch, too busy daydreaming about what tonight might bring. Would Elias come to the same party? Would he try to hook up with Dana during it? My heart raged at the thought, the rot reminding me of what I was capable of.

If he did… well, I couldn’t promise that I’d be good.

The bell rang to signal the end of the lunch period, and the rest of the day passed in a blur. When it was finally time to leave school grounds for the weekend, I met Elias at his car. I got in without saying a word, and I didn’t look at him, not even as he got in. I didn’t stare. I looked straight ahead, pretending his nearness to me didn’t bother me, like I didn’t care.

Oh, yes. Two could play this game.

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