Page 19 of Rot

“Really,” Jordan went on, “for future reference, I am available to drive you home. Or, you know, anywhere—” His fumbling attempt at what must’ve been flirting with me got the others to chuckle.

“I think Jordan’s got a crush on the new girl,” Tod proclaimed proudly, causing Jordan to glare at him.

They were acting like crushes were silly little things, something to be ashamed of. I didn’t get it. If you liked someone, you liked them. What was the point in pretending not to? So much in life would be so much simpler if everyone cut through the bullshit and said what they meant.

But, I couldn’t forget, these were high schoolers. I might be one of them, but I wasn’treallyone of them.

Jordan coughed, and then he turned his eyes back to me, no longer glaring at his friends. His voice lowered, and he told me, “Since you’re new in town, I could give you a little tour this weekend. Show you all the good places to eat and… well, that’s pretty much it. We don’t have much here in Blackrain.” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking almost contrite.

I didn’t say anything, mostly because I didn’t know how to answer. Thankfully, the others changed the topic of conversation, drawing it away from Jordan asking me out.

That was what he just did, right? Asked me out on a date? Or was he really only going to show me the happening places around here? Regardless of which one it was, I didn’t know how to take it, mostly because no one had ever wanted to be alone with me.

At my old school, no one wanted to sit with me at lunch. No one wanted to partner with me in any class. I was the odd one out, every single time. I sat by myself at lunch. I did all the work myself. No one liked me. They didn’t even pretend to.

This was new. It was all new.

Maybe it was silly of me, but the prospect of my classmates viewing me as nothing other than a new girl made me a strange sort of content. When you were just another girl in the eyes of people, it was a lot easier to feign your own innocence.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. I unfortunately shared some afternoon classes with both Elias and Dana, the latter of which shot a frown at me any time she caught me looking at her. I wasn’t really looking at her, though. I was staring at Elias, wondering what was going on in his head. He always seemed to be gazing out of the window, at the world outside, as if he’d rather be anywhere but here.

The bell rang, signaling the end of the day, and I got up and went out into the hallway, along with everyone else who scurried to get to their lockers as quickly as they possibly could so they could go home. It was like everyone wanted to spend the least amount of time possible here.

I made it to my locker, putting in the combination to get the door open. I grabbed my bag, along with all of the notes I’d have to copy. A few other classmates, along with Jordan, had given me theirs. I supposed I could go to the library to copy the pages, but… Elias wouldn’t wait for me. He’d go home, which meant my mother would have to come get me.

And I didn’t want that.

I also had some homework to do, sadly, so I had to bring a few textbooks home, too. Once my bag was stuffed full of shit, I slung it over my shoulders and shut my locker. I turned to leave, but someone had found me, blocking my way.

Jordan.

He wore a smile I could only describe as sheepish as he said, “Hey. You ran off after lunch. I hope my friends didn’t scare you off.”

“No.”

“Good.” And then he was quick to add, “I hopeIdidn’t scare you off.” When I didn’t say anything to that, he went on, “You got quiet after I said I could show you around. If you don’t want to—”

“I do,” I said the words before I could stop to think about it. “I just… I don’t know if this week is a good time. We’re still getting settled in. I have a lot of catching up to do for all my classes.”

Jordan nodded, running a hand through his blond hair. His eyes, more of an amber color than a straight-up brown, felt so much warmer than, say, Elias’s. “Well, maybe you should give me your number. You never know when you might change your mind.”

My phone was only supposed to be for my mother, for her to contact me, but… what would she know if I gave it to a boy? I nodded once, and Jordan pulled out his phone, handing it to me after unlocking the screen with his face.

I put my number in, and then I gave it back, and a goofy smile crossed his face. “Awesome. I’ll, uh, see you tomorrow, then?” He sounded unsure of himself, like he didn’t know if I’d be here tomorrow or if I was just an apparition for the day.

So, I said, “Yeah, see you tomorrow.” And then I watched him go, wondering if he could ever make me feel the way I’d felt in the woods, listening to Elias and Dana.

Maybe I’d never. Maybe feeling like that, really, truly feeling like that, wasn’t in the cards for me. Maybe the rot wouldn’t let me.

I left the school, though I had no idea where Elias parked. I started searching the parking lot, looking for his semi-rusted vehicle. This parking lot was full of cars that were much the same; I didn’t think I saw a single car worth over thirty thousand. All either used and old or new and cheap, the only things people in this town could afford, I guess.

I spotted what must be Elias’s car in the back of the lot, in the corner, practically the farthest away from the school doors, and I hiked over there, zigzagging through the small traffic jam of student drivers that wanted to get out as fast as possible.

He was already in the car, the vehicle idling, and he didn’t so much as throw me a glance as I got in. His jaw ground, and he put the car in reverse, backing out of the parking spot. I set my bag down between my knees and buckled my seatbelt, and then… silence, save for the radio.

It was only after we’d gotten out to the road and were on our way home that I said, “My first day was fine, thanks for asking.” I threw him a look, finding he’d rolled his eyes at me. “I saw you sitting by yourself at lunch. Do you always sit by yourself?”

“Fuck off,” he muttered.

---