Page 13 of Rot

But I couldn’t do it. I needed more out of life than that. The rot might have me, but that didn’t mean I wanted to wither away until there was nothing left.

“So,” Jordan started, staring at me like I held all the answers. “Where are you from? Why you transferring so late into senior year? It must suck.” He took a sip from his cup, zeroed in on me, like the rest of the world didn’t exist.

He wouldn’t be the last to ask about where I’d come from. I had to make sure I told everyone the same thing.

“We used to live with my grandmother, but… she and my mom got into a fight, so we packed up and left. You’ve probably never heard of where I’m from. Let’s just say it’s not a place that has bonfires, ever.”

“This is your first bonfire then, huh? Hopefully Dana didn’t scare you off too much.”

“She’ll have to do a lot more than that to scare me off.” I said it seriously, but he must’ve thought I was joking, because he laughed. I hid my frustration with him behind my cup as I took the tiniest sip ever.

“You’re funny,” he said, as if he did nothing more than state the obvious.

“I don’t try to be.” In all my life, the one thing I didn’t care to be was funny.

Jordan thought I was a regular comedian, because he laughed at that, too. Then he asked the most stupid question I’d ever heard: “So, what makes Sloane Sloane?”

God. This was torture. I didn’t know if he was trying to flirt with me or if he was just trying to get to know me. Either way, I wasn’t into it. He might be cute, but… I don’t know. He wasn’t really my type.

I didn’t know if I had a type, actually. I’d never kissed someone. Never hooked up. I’d never wanted to. Some parts about being a teenage girl were just… dumb, in my opinion. I was fascinated with other things. I wanted to spend my time daydreaming about other things instead of boys’ bodies and the dangly bits between their legs.

Jordan stared at me, waiting for an answer. I’d delayed all I could, and if I didn’t answer him, I knew things would get weird, so I decided to do what I did best.

I lied to him.

“I don’t know,” I told him. “I’ve never really thought about it. I’m really not that interesting.”

“Come on,” Jordan spoke, playfully elbowing my arm. We sat side by side on a log, the fire a good ten feet away. It was a lot warmer here; I didn’t know how he wasn’t sweating like a pig in that jacket. “That’s not true. I think you’re interesting.”

“You just met me. Everyone loves the shiny new thing until the next new thing comes along.”

“Are you comparing yourself to a shiny thing?”

I looked at him. “I’m just saying, I’m not that interesting.” Unlike some of the people here, I wasn’t conceited enough to pretend otherwise. And, besides, it wasn’t like I could tell him the truth, that what made me who I was was actually something dark. Something disturbed.

The rot.

He laughed at me again. Hearing him laugh so much, you’d think I was a standup comedian or something. “I don’t believe that. We might’ve just met, but I think you’re interesting—and it’s not because you’re the shiny new thing.”

“You only think that because I’m new. Once I’m old news, I’ll be just that.”

“Hey, give me some credit, okay? If I don’t know you, you don’t know me. Maybe I’m the kind of person that likes old news better.” There was a twinkle in his eyes that told me he was, indeed, flirting with me. Or trying to, anyway.

I surveyed the scene, spotting Dana running her hand along Elias’s arm. He must’ve finished his drink, because his cup sat on the grass beside him, the opposite side of Dana. He stared straight ahead, at the fire, and even though I wasn’t near him, I could see his expression clearly.

It looked like he wasn’t even there. Like his body was there, but he wasn’t in it. As bored and as expressionless as I’d ever seen him. Elias appeared to be a million miles away, and Dana was too stupid to realize it.

Jordan started talking about classes, asking me if I knew my schedule—I mumbled out a negative, because I hadn’t gotten anything yet. That would be something for Monday morning Sloane, not Friday night Sloane. I was too busy wondering what Elias was thinking about, what had taken him so far away from the present.

He’d been so hateful toward me, for no reason. He’d been all alpha male, trying to mark his territory, telling me he’d get his mother to force me and mine out. So venomous. So angry. Furious, even.

What had made him like that? Was he like this around other people, only letting his fury out when he was home? Was this how he was in class, too? Quiet and brooding and sullen. Girls did go crazy for guys like that, or so I’d heard.

Jordan kept talking, telling me about teachers I’d surely have and blah, blah, blah, but I wasn’t really there, paying attention to him. I couldn’t move my focus onto the one next to me when Elias was over there, acting so different than he did at home. I was so curious, so desperately curious about my dear cousin that I knew one thing, and one thing only.

I had to find out what made the switch in him.

Was it his father’s death? Was it something else? Had seeing his father die really hurt him so? I supposed death, to some people, was a scary thing, the kind of thing that left nothing but scars in its wake… but to me, death was nothing short of beautiful.

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