Page 92 of The Dollhouse

Lake chewed the piece of pancake currently in his mouth a bit slower, eyeing me up like he didn’t trust me. “Do I want to know? You’re not about to ask me to do it again, are you? Because, like I told you before, I just don’t know. That’s… that’s not really me. I don’t even know why I did it that first time—”

I knew I couldn’t push him into doing anything he didn’t want to do; some people weren’t as open about sex as others, so I couldn’t blame him. Maybe one day I’d help to open his eyes, make him see that having a little fun with another dick involved wasn’t anything to be embarrassed about.

“It’s not about that, actually,” I said, giving him a smile and reaching over the table to touch his hand.

Lake appeared relieved. “It’s not? Good. Good. That’s good. Have I mentioned that’s good? Anyway, what do you have for me now?” His cheeks were no longer pink, but I could tell his mind still lingered on that.

“I want to go back to Hillcrest.”

He blinked. “What? You—you want to go back to Hillcrest? Why? I mean, didn’t you leave all that stuff behind when you came here? Wasn’t that kind of the point of leaving that place to begin with?” Lake wasn’t wrong.

He also wasn’t the one who’d been shot, the one whose ex-boyfriend currently was decomposing somewhere… or became food for the fish in the river. As understanding as Lake was, he also couldn’treallyunderstand it.

“Yes, but… after everything that happened, I realized I’m not really over it. I never got closure.” I bit my bottom lip, glancing down at my lap. “I think I need to go back to put it all behind me for good, so I never look back, never waste another moment thinking about my family or my sister or that stupid place.”

Hillcrest… it wasn’t a good place. It was full of rich people who did whatever the hell they wanted to do, along with a college campus that had a bloody, sordid history—a history that was only buried because everyone there had money to do the burying. Go figure.

Lake listened to me, intent, not saying a single word. Even after I told him, he remained quiet, pensive and thoughtful. He was probably trying to come up with a solution that didn’t involve me going back there and facing my demons, but the fact of the matter was there wasn’t one. I had to go back.

“And, maybe this is the petty bitch inside me talking, but I want to mess things up for them. I want to show them I’m better off without them, give my sister a taste of her own medicine. When I leave, I want to leave them in a worse place.” I took another piece of bacon, practically shoving the whole thing in my mouth and frowning as I chewed it. “Tell me that’s insane, Lake. Tell me I’m stupid for wanting to go back, for wanting—”

“Revenge?” Lake offered. “Look, I’ve seen enough movies to know revenge plots never go the way you want them to. They’re always more complicated and usually end up teaching lessons. I could tell you it’s a terrible idea, but you obviously already know that.” He grew quiet for a few moments, staring squarely at me, rubbing his clean-shaven jaw once. “They did you dirty, Zoey. They hurt you, and I can’t pretend to know how it feels, even after all this time. You have every right to want to get back at them.”

I stared at him, unblinking, which caused Lake to say, “What?”

Shaking my head, I said, “Nothing. It’s just… I guess I thought you’d say it’s a dumb plan, try to convince me out of it.”

“Hey, if there’s one thing I am—or, at least, one thing I like to think I am—it’s supportive. As long as you don’t go on a killing rampage, I’m behind you one hundred percent.” Lake gave me a smile, a gentle one, a loving one, and I knew he would stand with me no matter what.

Unless I went on a killing rampage as he said, but I could always leave that to Roman and Carter.

I joke. Sort of.

“Thank you, Lake,” I spoke with a grin.

“Anytime. When are you going? How long do you think it’ll take? I’d offer to go with you, but after everything that happened, I really shouldn’t miss more work or any more classes.”

“I’m not sure. Roman mentioned he has someone he’s going to call. I’m waiting to hear back from him first, but it might be soon—or it might be a while. It might take a week, or it might take a month. I’m really not sure.”

Lake spoke, “Well, on the weekends I have off, I can come visit. Unless you’ll be driving there every day, which doesn’t really seem that fuel efficient.” He grinned, and I laughed. Not that I cared about saving gas, but he was right.

“We’ll probably stay somewhere in Hillcrest. I’m not sure where yet.”

“We?” Lake echoed.

“Yeah, Roman and Carter are coming with, as long as they can get some time off from their boss.” My memories flashed back, back to the days we were stuck in those cabins, in the middle of nowhere, after getting shot at. I didn’t really meet their boss, but I’d seen him. Or them. Or whatever. They looked like men who never took no for an answer, men who dealt with everything with violence.

Kind of like Roman and Carter themselves.

Lake’s expression changed slightly. “Oh, well, that’s, uh… that’s good. I’m glad they’re going with you.” Though he tried to act genuine, I could tell he was also a bit jealous, and I knew in his head, he was wondering if he could take time off from work and school again so I wouldn’t be alone with them constantly. Alone with them and away from him.

I chuckled, and I reached for his hand again. “I’m not going to forget you, Lake. I love you. And of course I wish you could go with me, but I totally get why you can’t. I don’t want you to lose your job or have to drop out of school for me.” Unlike me, he had a plan. He wanted to work for some computer software firm after college, a good job.

Me? I couldn’t imagine myself in five years, let alone in a job I’d have for the rest of my life.

“You say that now, but what happens when you’re back in Hillcrest, surrounded by everybody you grew up with, money and prestige—”

Now it was my turn to give him an incredulous look and blink slowly. “Lake, my parents knew my ex was cheating on me with my sister and kept it from me. They tried to convince me it was no big deal and that I should forgive them both. I really don’t give a shit about them or anyone else in Hillcrest. And the money? Unless you’ve forgotten, Roman has all the money I’d need, if I ever asked him for it. Which I won’t, because I like living here, next to you.”

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