Page 57 of The Dollhouse

My mind immediately raced. Did Roman threaten him? Was it all to get Lake alone, away from me, to force him to let me go? Goddamn it, I’d told him—

“It was maybe a few minutes after that when Carter found me,” Crystal went on, breaking through my thoughts as she explained, “it sounded like Roman wanted me to seduce Lake, so I… I tried. When Carter gives you an order from Roman, you don’t say no.”

If my heart could’ve fallen out of my chest and sunk down to the concrete below, it would’ve. Roman had Crystal seduce Lake? Fuck. What the hell was Roman thinking? Was he trying to get Lake out of the picture, so he all but forced him to be with Crystal while knowing I needed my men to be mine and mine alone?

I mean, look at the woman standing next to me, for God’s sake. She was beautiful, busty, and blonde. The threeBs all men loved, even if they didn’t admit it. No straight male would ever say no to her if she came onto them full force, not even Lake.

It didn’t even occur to me that something else could’ve happened, that Lake could’ve denied her even though she was drop-dead gorgeous, but then I realized what she’d told me: she tried. Shetried, meaning, she didn’t succeed.

“Lake wouldn’t let me,” Crystal said, reaffirming my realization and literally lifting the invisible weight off my heart. “He pushed me off him, and then he…” Her lips curled into a smile at the memory. “Then he actually had the balls to confront Roman. I didn’t see much of it, but what I did see was hot—definitely made me look at Lake in a new light, you know? I always thought he was just the dorky nerd living in my building, but he has to have balls to go toe-to-toe with Roman.”

At this point, I had no idea what the hell to say, how to respond to her without sounding stupid or telling her I needed to leave for the night. A part of me wanted to rush home and confront Lake, while another part of me wanted to yell at Roman for trying something so dirty and underhanded.

“I might not know the whole story,” Crystal went on, setting her hands on her hips as she studied me, “but I’m smart enough to know it’s all about you, babe.” She laughed, though it wasn’t a very hearty one. “I guess there’s just something about you, Zoey. You’re like catnip to those guys.”

I wasn’t sure if I should be proud of that or not. With how crazy everything had been, my guess was at the latter.

“If I’m honest, I was a bit jealous, at first,” Crystal admitted with a shrug. “But then I remembered how I don’t want to be here for the rest of my life. I want to make something of myself, and I know I can’t do that at the Dollhouse. The tips were nice, but…” She heaved a sigh. “I think I’m going to start to look for another job. A real job. I don’t have a college degree, so I don’t know what’s out there for me, but… I need to try.”

Hey, I didn’t have a degree either. I walked away from it all, unable to stand the thought of remaining in Hillcrest after finding my ex with my sister. I had no idea what my future would hold past this place, but I wasn’t at the point in my life where I wanted to sit down and think about it; Crystal clearly was, and no matter what happened, I’d support her. We might not be the closest of friends, but she’d helped me out when I had no one. I owed her.

“If you need any help, you know I’m always around,” I told her, smiling softly. I was sad to hear she was leaving the Dollhouse, but that didn’t mean she was moving out of the building. I’d still see her around. Maybe she and I could become better friends.

Of course, all that aside, I was still pretty ticked off at Roman for doing what he did, still worried about what Lake thought of me. If Roman brought him here, I doubted he’d kept the fact that I also worked here to himself. No, I bet he told Lake everything, tried to get him to turn on me and let Crystal seduce him.

But he didn’t. Lake had proved Roman wrong; Crystal said so herself, and she had no reason to lie to me about it.

“Thanks,” Crystal spoke, grinning. “And if you ever need help with Roman, you know where to find me.”

I laughed, although I wasn’t quite sure what kind of help she meant.

Since my break was over, I went back inside. Considering what Crystal told me, I was in a decent mood all of a sudden. Like, maybe, through the clouds and the storm, I could finally see daylight, the end to this dark, ever-lasting tunnel. If there was nothing left between Lake and me, he wouldn’t have denied Crystal. And Roman… Lake doing that had to prove to him that he did in fact care about me.

Was that what all of this was about? Was it some weird, crazy test of Roman’s? I wouldn’t put it past him, because that man would do anything to get what he wanted, and somehow, still, that something was me. Me and me alone.

But I would not come without a cost. If he wanted to have me, to truly have me, he would have to learn to share a bit.

Roman Russo sharing with someone other than Carter. It sounded almost funny in my head.

By the time my shift ended, I was actually happy. Not overly thrilled, mind you, but happy enough. Content with where my life was at, even if things were a little messy right now. It was only a matter of time before I saw Roman again, before he either admitted what he did or I confronted him about it. Either way, it would happen, just like something would happen with Lake.

The next time I saw Lake, I planned on having a long chat with him. Even if he knew everything now, I still wanted to come clean about it myself, to admit it to him myself. Tell him that I never wanted to hide anything from him.

I didn’t. I just… how could anyone explain the situation I found myself in? I didn’t even know how the hell it happened, why Roman refused to let me go, why I couldn’t just be another girl from the Dollhouse. There was something about me, I guess, something that called out to him, and you know what? Something about that crazy suit-wearing man called out to me too, just as something did from Carter and Lake.

I really did care about all of them, in different ways. I needed them in my life, while I figured out who I was. Whether or not they’d still be in my life ten years from now didn’t matter. All that mattered was the here and the now, and I refused to stand by and watch it pass me by in a blur.

As I walked home, I pictured what I was going to say to Roman when I saw him next, how I’d ream into him, probably talk to him in a way no one else would ever get away with. I imagined how annoyed he’d be with me, too. Truthfully, I enjoyed riling him up, making him mad. The angry fucking was kind of like I was getting my cake and eating it, too.

And then, of course, my mind went to Lake, what I’d say to him. There were really no words I could use to convince him that everything about what happened was okay, so I would try not to make excuses for Roman’s behavior.

The sun was not yet up by the time I made it back to the apartment building. I yawned, feeling the need to crawl in my bed and sleep for a few hours before I even attempted to talk to Lake. I was still not accustomed to my work schedule—although, to be fair, it was hardly a schedule since I only worked Tuesdays and Thursdays.

My feet took me towards the door, and I was about halfway through the parking lot when the silence of the air was split with someone whispering, “Zoey.”

I stopped, feeling the hair on the back of my neck stand straight, an eerie feeling washing over me as I glanced around the parking lot. Right now was not a good time for whatever this was. But I saw nothing, spotted no one.

Did I imagine that, or was I crazy?

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