Page 37 of The Dollhouse

It was one Thursday night when I was leaving my apartment to go to work, when I met Lake in the hall. It looked like he was just coming up from taking out trash or something, for he was empty-handed as he headed from the elevator to his apartment. When his blue gaze landed on me, though, his feet stopped immediately. His blonde hair had gotten longer, and since he hadn’t gotten it cut, it was perfectly cute and messy in every single way.

The perfect length to run my hands through, really.

Not a thought I should have, I knew, since Carter and Roman wanted to dictate everything that went between my legs, but still. Lake was a reminder of what life could be like if everything was normal, and for whatever strange reason, I liked the reminder.

“Hey,” he said, reaching to rub the back of his neck. He and I hadn’t exactly spent a lot of time together lately, since Carter was always here, it seemed. “Your boyfriend not here anymore?” When I only blinked, shocked that he’d bring him up—especially so soon—Lake quickly shook his head and said, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It’s none of my business who—”

Maybe it was because I couldn’t take his fumbling, or maybe it was for another reason entirely, but I cut in and said, “Carter’s not my boyfriend. He’s… well, he’s more like a babysitter than anything else.” A babysitter, a bodyguard, someone to keep me in line, whatever. Same thing.

Of course, it was when I said it that I started wondering how thin the walls actually were. Had Lake heard Carter fucking me against the wall? He was my neighbor, but the wall Carter took me on was not a shared wall, so maybe not.

Lake’s expression appeared dubious, and he questioned, “A babysitter? For you? Why on earth would you need a babysitter?”

Since he still stood awkwardly a good ten feet away from me, I took a few steps closer to him, hugging my jacket closed. I wore my typical pink sneakers, along with shorts and a jacket to cover everything underneath—my work outfit, basically. My work outfit was not something I would ever be caught dead strolling around in.

When I said nothing right away, he guessed, “Your parents?”

Yes, saying Carter was sent from my parents to keep an eye on me would be the simplest explanation, wouldn’t it? I came from money, ran away from it and tried to leave it all behind, but my blasted parents just couldn’t let me go.

But it would be a lie, and right now, I didn’t want to lie to him. Lake didn’t deserve that, especially since he’d gotten what was basically the cold shoulder from me the last two weeks. After our almost-kiss, it wasn’t something he deserved. This one… I meant it when I said he deserved so much more.

Still, even though I didn’t want to lie to him, telling him the truth would be too much, and I knew he’d look at me differently if I told him everything about Roman and Carter. I said the only thing I could: “Yeah, you could say that. I guess I’m a bit of a troublemaker when left to my own devices.” I shrugged, giving him a small smile, wishing I could come clean.

Could I? Even assuming Lake would still want to speak with me after knowing the truth, what would Roman do?

He’d probably have Lake strung up and skinned, or something. Shot to death, his body tied down with weights, and then tossed in a lake somewhere.

Well, that got dark fast, didn’t it?

Lake grinned, and it was good to see the dimples in his cheeks again. Those dimples were cute, and I felt the need to touch them, but I held back. I had no idea what it was about those tiny things, but they made me go crazy.

“I can see it,” he told me, still grinning, still wearing those dimples proudly.

“Can you?” I asked, glaring at him in what I hoped was a playful way. Not a real glare, but a look that meant so much more. Was it wrong to have feelings for multiple guys at the same time? I mean, in elementary school I had crushes on different boys, but that wasn’t the same. I didn’t really talk to them. Here, now… I actually felt my heart being pulled in several directions at once. That couldn’t be normal.

Lake could give me a normal life, and Roman and Carter… the opposite. The absolute opposite.

I wanted both at the same time. A normal life, but also one that was filled with displays of dominance and possession, obsession in its rawest, most carnal form. I wanted to be free to make my own decisions, but also under someone else’s thumb.

Fuck. I needed to get a handle on myself.

“Totally,” he said.

Even though the last thing I wanted to do was leave Lake’s side and go to work, that’s exactly what I had to do. “I have to go to work,” I told him. “But it was really nice to see you tonight, Lake.” I didn’t bother to hide the wistfulness in my voice, instead letting it coat every single word, hoping Lake heard it.

He stuck his hands in his jean pockets, looking sheepish as he blushed a bit. “It was,” he said. “Maybe, on another night when you don’t have to work, we could hang out again.” Lake must’ve realized what he was suggesting, for in the next moment he was hurriedly adding, “I mean, if you want. If you’re not too busy with that babysitter of yours—”

Hanging out with him would be dangerous, I knew, and yet before I left, I still said, “I’d like that.”

I mean, just because I’d like it didn’t mean it would actually happen. I could yearn for something without doing it, right? Roman might claim to want to control my thoughts like he did everything else, but he couldn’treallydo that.

The walk to the Dollhouse felt abnormally long, partially because of my little encounter with Lake. Lake was not the type of guy I would’ve gone for before, but then again, neither was Roman or Carter. Not once in my wildest dreams did I ever picture myself agreeing to give myself to a guy who had to belong to some organized crime syndicate or something. The mob. The mafia. The… whatever the hell they were called these days.

The truth of the matter was, my life had taken such a hard, drastic turn after I walked in and saw Bryan and Willow together that I couldn’t have predicted any of it.

Ah, well. Life took turns you didn’t expect sometimes, and you had to roll with the punches.

My current punch being an oddly Roman and Carter-free night. Neither man showed up to the Dollhouse, commanding me to remain by their side, to serve them drinks and sit on their lap while they exerted their control over me. Neither man was there to pull me into the backroom and have their way with me on that couch. By extension, neither man was there to stop me from going onto that stage and giving the few men who were our Thursday night patrons a good show.

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