Page 146 of The Dollhouse

I wasn’t a saint. I wasn’t a good girl. I was a rebel, full of hate and spite. I’d grown to love the darkness, the thrill of the night and its surprises. I’d become the kind of person who craved both having control and letting go.

“Wait,” I called out to Wyatt when he’d yanked the door open and started to walk out. He stopped, but he didn’t turn around to look at me again, didn’t bring those vivid emerald eyes back to me. He stood on the steps, ready to run, ready to leave and never look back.

But he’d stopped.

I stared at the back of his head for a second. There was so much more I could’ve said, so much I could try to tell him, things to explain. I could tell him it wasn’t his fault, that I didn’t want his goodness to vanish because of what I’d done. I could tell him that, yeah, it had felt hella good to fuck with my sister like that.

So many things I could say, and yet I knew none of it would matter in the end.I’d hurt him, and now we both had to live with the consequences.

So I settled with saying, “I’m sorry.” That’s it. Just two words. Two tiny words that fell flat, because they weren’t nearly enough to make up for what I’d done to him, for playing with his heart and lying to his face about it.

Wyatt didn’t say anything. He didn’t turn around to look at me. He simply held his head up high and resumed his pace, walking away from me. He headed straight to his car and got in, not once looking over in my direction, even though I stood at the door, clutching the frame, watching him go.

And then he left, and that made me feel so… so… conflicted. Some people deserved nothing but vile hatred and comeuppance, but Wyatt wasn’t one of those people. He was a rare thing in this world, someone with a good, pure heart. Like Lake. Someone who took things for face value and never once tried to trick others. Never played any games, never lied.

Wyatt deserved so much better than me.

Once he was long gone, I closed the door, my heart heavy in my chest. When I turned around, I saw Roman and Carter standing a few feet behind me, both of them watching me with the same intensity they always watched me with.

Roman took a step forward, black eyes taking me in. At any other time, those eyes would’ve lingered on the curve of my hips, or my tits, or even my neck, but right now, they fixated on my face. “Are you all right?” he asked, his voice low. He lifted a hand, running his fingertips along the side of my cheek, and my eyelids fluttered shut of their own accord.

“Yeah,” I eventually said. “I’m okay.”

Roman dropped his hand from my face the moment Carter grumbled, “He didn’t even let you speak, the fucking asshole.” He came off as grumpy as ever, but even though he was on my side, I found myself shaking my head.

“No, he was right,” I said. “He was right about all of it. Nothing he said was wrong. I used him, and he has every right to be hurt, to hate me.” My lungs took a deep inhale, and I held the breath for a few seconds. “I’m going to go upstairs for a bit.”

Neither man said anything to that, and they let me go upstairs. I made it to my bedroom, and I shut the door behind me. I collapsed on my bed, staring at the ceiling for a while, letting the silence take over. I tried not to think about Wyatt and how I’d hurt him, but that soon grew to be an impossible endeavor.

So instead of wallowing for hours, which I could definitely do all day and night, I called the one person who might make me feel better, the only person in the world who had any chance of lifting me out of the dumps.

Lake.

Chapter Thirteen – Lake

Going to Hillcrest again was not something I really wanted to do, but after I spoke with Zoey Monday, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had to. She needed me. Of course, during the call, she’d explained what happened when Wyatt had come over, but then she tried to change the subject to the finale of this little thing.

It was coming. The final countdown had started to play, and there was no turning back. Zoey had passed the point of no return a while ago, really, back when she videotaped Wyatt and used the video as revenge against her sister.

I’d told her time and time again not to go too far, because anything she did she couldn’t take back, and Wyatt had sounded like a good guy. I hated to see him get hurt because he’d found himself smackdab in the middle of a sibling feud.

No, what was between Zoey and her sister was more than just a feud.

I had hoped that my words would help guide her even though I wasn’t there with her, but of course it hadn’t been enough. She had Roman and Carter with her, and they were the kind of people who were all about hurting others. Heck, I couldn’t forget how I’d gotten kidnapped twice because of them. They were the kind of people who threatened injury on a daily basis to others, so they were not the kind of people who would stop Zoey from going too far.

She’d gone ahead with her plan and used Wyatt exactly how she wanted, and now she regretted it. She didn’t like that she’d hurt him, but at least she understood Wyatt had every reason to be angry with her. Getting used… it wasn’t fun. I’d never been used to the extent Wyatt had, but I could imagine how it felt. I could imagine what he was thinking, how hurt he was. I could put myself in his shoes a bit too well, and that’s why I decided to head to Hillcrest a day early.

I’d planned on going there all weekend after trading my shifts and letting my professors know I wouldn’t be in class on Friday, but after talking to Zoey more, I knew there was something I had to do, and that was why I made it to Hillcrest on Thursday instead of Friday. I didn’t tell her that I was there yet; I headed straight to campus, which I knew a little thanks to her tour the last time I’d visited.

I might’ve looked a little out of place, but I was a college student myself, so it wasn’t like I was way out of my element. I just didn’t have the expensive clothes or name-brand bags slung over my shoulder like everyone else.

I parked my car in one of the student lots, hoping I wouldn’t get a ticket. I didn’t know how often the parking lots were patrolled, but I did notice the other cars all had tags on their windshields, hence the reason for the haste in my walk across campus. The last thing I needed right now was a ticket. Around here, I bet they were pricey.

It was just after lunchtime, but I’d been on the road for a few hours already, so I decided on getting some coffee at the main building on campus. Zoey had taken me through it, showed me all the good places to eat, so I knew exactly where I was going. And then, with a coffee in my hand and extra caffeine starting to course through my system, I meandered over to the shops. They had their own small post office, where they could mail things out if they needed to, along with a bookstore and clothes shop, where they could buy textbooks, supplies, or HU clothes if they wanted.

I hadn’t seen anyone wear anything with the HU logo branded across it so far, though. I supposed the students here came from rich families, so they had nothing to prove. Why bother buying Hillcrest University spirit wear?

My feet took me into the shop, and I sipped my coffee as I meandered through the aisles. I saw a worker in the back, fixing the stacks of books they still had in stock. Another worker was at the front register, but he didn’t look like the person I was after. Zoey had told me what Wyatt looked like in one of our many phone calls during the beginning, so I knew he was someone with reddish hair and green eyes. Someone who, in Zoey’s words, reminded her of me.

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