Page 16 of No Ordinary Love

"Lucas?" Kath pressed, her eyes searching mine for an answer.

"I was with her for two years, Kath. Of course, I still have feelings for her," I admitted, the truth burning as it left my mouth. It was the first time I'd said it out loud, and the words hung between us like a specter—haunting and undeniable.

Kath's face fell, her fear morphing into something closer to resignation. "We were so good together once," she whispered, her voice trembling with the effort to hold it together. "We can be again, Lucas. Just, don't give up on us."

I nodded because what else could I do? But as I looked over her shoulder at Amara and Jax, twirling together in perfect harmony, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was holding on to the wrong person; that I had let go of the right one. The music swelled, the ballroom around us spinning in a blur of silk andsequins, but all I could see was Amara in another man's arms, smiling like I'd never hurt her.

And that was the problem. Ihadhurt her, shattered her trust, and now she was moving on, finding happiness without me. The realization gnawed at me, eating away at the certainty I thought I had in my choices.

But this was my decision, I kicked myself hard—one I'd have to live with, one way or another, even if it meant standing here, in a room full of people, feeling like the loneliest man in the world.

Chapter 7

Amara

It had been four months since Lucas and I broke up, and I was still living at Basil's. Although I often felt like a burden, he kept insisting he'd rather I take my time finding the right home than rush into something. We'd been friends for a long time and were comfortable with each other, so living together had been pretty seamless, and we both liked it. Plus, as he put it, he appreciated having someone to look after the house while he was away at UCLA for a project that would keep him there for the entire fall semester.

Gemma, Basil'sfriend-with-benefits, my friend and colleague, and I organized a going-away party for him in the garden, which was now alive with laughter and the soft glow of string lights draped lazily between the trees.

Basil's backyard had been transformed into a cozy party space. We'd set up a long table covered in crisp white linens. On the table sat Mason jars full of wildflowers and candles shimmeringgently in the warm summer breeze. The night was perfect—clear skies, the scent of jasmine in the air, and the soft hum of conversation blended with the distant chirping of crickets.

I had just told Gemma about the first time I met Lucas after we broke up, which was at the Magnolia Ball.

"Do you remember theSex and The Cityepisode where Carrie meets Mr. Big for the first time after they break up?" Gemma mused, her voice carrying just enough for me to catch it over the music playing softly in the background.

I laughed softly, recognizing the scene she was referring to. Carrie's awkward, stilted run-in with Big after their explosive breakup had always felt painfully honest, even if it was wrapped in the glamorous packaging of Manhattan life.

"You mean when she showed up with the newest Yankee on her arm?" Naina, a professor of economics who was sitting next to me, chuckled.

"Exactly." Gemma waved her wine glass. "And here is our own Carrie Bradshaw, showing up with the PGA champion on her arm when she first sees her ex withhisnew lady love."

Almost everyone in Basil's garden was a colleague or friend from the university, and conversations mostly revolved around the latest research projects, departmentandpersonal gossip, and the endless politics of academia. I was deeply entrenched in this world, which often felt like a bubble, isolated from the rest of life's chaos.

Basil caught my eye as he approached us, his easy smile making me feel at home, as always. He was the kind of friend everyone wished they had—solid, thoughtful, and with a dry sense of humor that I loved.

"Basil," I called out, holding up my glass in a mock toast. "Gemma's dissectingSex and The Cityagain. I need backup."

Basil rolled his eyes playfully as he stepped closer.

Gemma grinned, tipping her glass in my direction. "I believe that Amara had her ownsolidCarrie moment."

The parallelswereobvious—my unexpected run-in with Lucas at the ball and the way Jax had swooped in like a breath of fresh air in a story that had grown too heavy with drama and tension.

"Maybe I am," I conceded with a wry smile, taking a sip of my wine. "But you know what? I'm okay with that. It's better to be Carrie than Flaubert'sMadame Bovary."

Gemma raised her glass in agreement, her eyes sparkling with approval. "Cheers to that."

Basil slid his arm around me, walking me away in the guise of something that needed to be taken care of in the kitchen. He nudged me gently, a knowing look in his eyes. "All okay? You lookextratired today."

I smiled wanly at him. Tired was code forsad. And I didn't want to be sad about Lucas anymore. I really, really didn't.

My misery didn't come from Lucas—not exactly. It stemmed more from trying to be more than friends with Jax, only to have it fall flat. Jax and I had become close over the past four weeks since we first met at the Magnolia Ball. I enjoyed his company, and he enjoyed mine, but we both had to admit there was zero sexual chemistry—just a whole lot of intellectual and emotional connection.

The truth was, and Jax pointed it out as well, I wasn't over Lucas. I dreamed about him every night. When I thought about sex, I thought abouthim. When I used my vibrator to get off, it was to his voice in my head, his hands on my body.

The thought that he was making love with Kath while I was pining for him filled me with shame.

"Stop worrying about me and just go have fun with our friends." I slapped Basil's shoulder teasingly.

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