Page 121 of Love Without Demands

She answered my question with a question, her soft eyes intent on mine. “Are you mad at me for keeping that secret from you for all these years?”

“I’m not mad. I was really confused at first, and I wanted answers.”

She nodded. “That’s fair. You deserve answers. You know you could have talked to me about it.”

My chest felt tight, and I realized I hadn’t taken a deep breath since we’d arrived. Remedying that, I sucked in some air and blew it out. “It was so soon after Papa died, and I didn’t want to upset you. I found some letters beneath the hot water heater that he was obviously hiding from you, so I guess I decided to do my own investigation.”

“Hmm, I always wondered where he was keeping the letters.”

If my mother had told me she was actually Gisele Bundchen in disguise, I wouldn’t have been more surprised. “You knew about the letters?”

She rolled her eyes. “I was the office manager. I saw the bills for the post office box he rented and figured out that was how Benjamin and Paul must be communicating.”

“And you never said anything?”

“I trusted your father to handle it. He was the peacemaker while I was the person who would throw shoes.”

I laughed at that. “I can’t believe you knew all this time.”

“I don’t know any of the details, and I had no idea what was in the letters. Paul showed up at the house when you were six, and your father and I stayed up all night, worrying he would take you from us. The next evening, Benjamin told me he’d handled it and that I shouldn’t worry. He slept like a baby that night, so I took his word for it.” Her bottom lip trembled. “Maybe I was afraid toknow. One of the most important things in a marriage is trust, and I trusted your papa to take that burden from my heart.”

“Paul didn’t want to take me away, Mama,” I said gently.

Her eyes met mine, and she looked nervous. “So you talked to him about all this?”

“We actually have dinner together every week.” Her eyes widened in shock. “I’m surprised you didn’t know that, Miss Investigator,” I teased, and she broke into a laugh.

“I told you, I just checked the basics. I wasn’t keeping tabs on you.” Dipping her gaze, she asked, “How is Paul?”

“Paul is…” I huffed out a sigh. “I don’t think Paul has been okay for a very long time, but he seems to be doing better. His son Monty is back in his life, and he has grandchildren now.”

“I saw on TV that Monty just got married.”

“He did. Kassie is a great woman. They’re actually on their honeymoon right now.”

“I never met him. Only Auburn and Evie.” Her lips turned down, and her eyes filled with tears. “I do miss them very much. I still say prayers from time to time for that sweet girl. I can’t imagine my child going missing and never knowing what happened to them.”

“It’s a horrible situation. I can see the sadness all over Paul’s face when he speaks of her.”

“Evelyn was always a daddy’s girl,” my mother said fondly. “What do Monty and Auburn think about having a brother they never knew about?”

I cringed. “We haven’t told them yet. I’ve been apprehensive, especially at first. Then so many things happened in their lives, and I didn’t want to add more drama,” I told her and then quickly added, “Paul wants to tell them. He’s not ashamed of me or anything.”

Mama’s eyes flashed with indignation. “Of course he’s not! There’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re a wonderful man, Cruz.”

“Thank you, Mama,” I said softly because I needed to hear that.

No matter what, there was always the stigma of me being the secret illegitimate son of a billionaire. Paul did everything in his power to not make me feel like that, but my perception of it was hard to shake completely.

I swiveled a little in my seat. “Will you tell me your side of what happened all those years ago? Why you left New York and didn’t tell Paul he had another son?”

Mama’s face tightened, but she nodded her head. “First of all, I want you to know that leaving wasn’t my choice.” Then she went silent for a long time, her eyes following the passersby on the sidewalk. When she spoke again, her voice was low and raspy. “Lying was though. I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me.”

A single tear made its way down her face, and it cut right through me. I lifted her hand and kissed the back of it with all the affection and love I felt for my mother.

“I could never hate you, Mama. We all have things we haven’t been honest about. You, me, and Paul, and I don’t think any of those lies were malicious.” I thought of my own secret that I’d been keeping from Monty and Auburn, and I decided it was finally time to tell them, come what may.

As though her eyes were melting, a torrent of tears slid down Stella Estrada’s face, the softness giving way to a fierce determination. “I would do it again for you. I would sell my soul to the devil to protect my children.”

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