Page 64 of Love Without Demands

“No, not at all. I’ve already talked to them and set most everything up. I just need to pay for the services.”

“Okay, but I’m here if you change your mind.”

“I appreciate it, Cruz. And thank you for calling to check on me.”

“No problem. I was worried about you.”

His voice sounded thicker when he said, “You’re a good son. I’ll see you on Monday.”

My own words came out hoarse with emotion. “Sounds good. Bye, Paul.”

Chapter 19

“Fuck, that was intense,”Chris said as we stripped out of our gear at the station. “You all right, Estrada?”

“Yeah,” I breathed. “I’m okay.”

Curly came up and slapped me on the back. “You did a good job tonight, man. You know, with all officer-involved shootings—”

“Yeah, I’ll be on leave for a bit during the investigation. I know that’s standard,” I assured him with a nod.

His face was somber. “It won’t be for long, I’m sure. That piece of shit, Cappitani, was on top of an underaged girl when you kicked in the door.”

I cringed at the memory. I’d never been more disgusted in my life.

“And he pulled a gun on you,” Kai added, giving my shoulder a light shake as I remembered the cold steel rising from beneath the dirty pillow. “You were justified, bro.”

“I know. Thanks, guys. I appreciate the support,” I told them, clenching my fingers into my palms so no one could see the slight shake there. I was aware it was simply my adrenaline coming down after all the action of the raid. “I’m gonna hit the shower.”

“Me too,” Jayden said, following me into the tiled room. He didn’t speak on the ride back to the station, which was unusual for him. The guy was always joking and carrying on.

“You okay?” I asked him softly. He’d been right behind me when we breached the room where Luca Cappitani was assaulting that poor girl while another cowered in the corner.

His big brown eyes were haunted as he halted and stared across the room. “My twin sisters are seventeen like that girl.” I was silent, letting him process. Then his tight face twisted toward me. “I know we’re not supposed to say shit like this after a shooting, but I’m glad that sadistic motherfucker is dead.”

I placed my hand on his shoulder in what I hoped was a comforting gesture. “That’s valid, Jayden. I know we’re just supposed to do our jobs and then put it out of our minds, but in real life, that’s not how it works. Some of this shit really hits home.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly, walking into one of the stalls.

Once we were cleaned up and walking out of the shower room with rough white towels around our waists, I forced my tone into something casual.

“You know, they’ll probably make me speak to a shrink about this. I haven’t killed anyone since my days in the military. I had to wound a guy in the leg once back in Houston, but otherwise, I haven’t had to discharge my weapon in a long time.”

“Probably,” he said, scruffing a hand over his dark curls.

“Do you think you could come with me?” He looked up at me in surprise, and I told a bit of a fib. “I don’t want to go by myself,and I think it would help to have one of my brothers there with me.”

A hint of a smile passed his lips. “Yeah, okay. I’ll go if you need me to.”

Maybe he was onto what I was doing, and maybe he wasn’t, but at least he was going to go. I was positive he wouldn’t take the initiative to seek out the psychological resources we were provided on his own, but I was sure it would do him some good to be able to talk freely about how he was feeling.

As I pulled on a pair of black cargo pants, Jayden said, “Estrada?”

“Yeah?”

His grin was full wattage now. “What’s your mom look like?”

“Shut the fuck up, Jay.”

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