“Agreed,” Paul replied with the hint of a smile before glancing back at me. “I would have done anything to have kept you two in my life if I’d known. I could have… I don’t know… hired a hitman or something.”
“Dios mio!” Mama exclaimed, smacking him on the arm. “Don’t make me take my shoe off, Paul Bouvier. Don’t even speak of such things.”
He shrugged wryly. “You live with that evil woman for almost forty years and then tell me you wouldn’t have some dark thoughts.” With a small smile, he changed the subject. “I really liked Benjamin, and I’m so sorry for your loss, Stella.”
She dipped her chin and nodded. “Thank you. He was a wonderful husband and father and treated Cruz like he was his own.”
“I know he did. How did you two get together? I tried not to pry too much regarding you because I didn’t want Ben to feel any more uncomfortable than he already did by talking to me. We mostly spoke about Cruz.”
Mama laughed softly and took a drink of her juice. “My mother was scandalized when she found out I was pregnant out of wedlock. She insisted I call the father immediately and get married, but I told her that was impossible.” She puffed out a breath and shook her head. “She made it her mission to find me a husband.”
I took a bite of my cinnamon bagel and listened with rapt ears. Of course I’d never heard this before. Mama and Papa always told us they met at church.
My mother took a nibble of her bagel before replacing it on her plate. “Apparently, Benjamin Estrada had a crush on me during high school. I was not that interested in boys back then, so I never noticed. But my mother did. When she learned he had moved back to town after college, she decided to play matchmaker.”
She chuckled and shook her head, lost in her memories. “I was having morning sickness all day every day, and to be honest, I was tired of hearing her yap about me being an unwed mother all the time. About what the people at church would think. So I agreed to marry him, mostly so I could get out of that house.”
Mama glanced up and seemed almost surprised that we were still there. “I hate to admit it, but I was terrible to Benjaminafter we got married. Refused to share a bed with him, spoke only when necessary.” She threaded the paper napkin between her fingers. “It wasn’t until Cruz was born and I watched how he treated my baby that I finally saw him for the man he was.”
A tear snaked down her cheek, and Paul reached up and swiped it away as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “I’m sorry you lost him, Star. And I’m so grateful for Benjamin. For your sake and for Cruz’s. He loved his family very much.”
And that’s when the dam broke. A torrent of tears washed down my mother’s face, and I stood in a rush to get to her, but Paul beat me to it. He pulled her to him, his touch gentle and somehow familiar as he stroked her dark hair and let her cry against his shoulder. I settled back in my chair, feeling kinda like an intruder.
“I’m so sorry, Paul. How can you not hate me for taking your son away?” Her words were barely audible through her sobs. “I’ve carried this guilt for so many years about it. I’m such a horrible person for doing that to you.”
He clutched her more tightly before pulling back and lifting her chin with his fingers. “Don’t say that, Star. I never hated you. Was I angry at you for leaving? Yes, but I could never hate you. My heart wouldn’t allow it.”
My hand covered my mouth to contain my gasp as I realized the truth.Paul Bouvier still loves my mother. Even after all these years.
And I couldn’t even muster any negative feelings about that because her sobs subsided at his softly spoken words.
“You don’t hate me?” she asked on a hiccup.
He shook his head. “Not at all. I regret not being able to be closer to my son as he grew up, but I know you were only doing what you thought was right.” Smoothing a strand of her hair behind one ear, he asked. “Can you tell me why you never toldme the truth? We could have worked something out. You didn’t have to be afraid of me.”
“I wasn’t afraid of you. It was…her.”
“Chloe,” he gritted out through his teeth, and Mama nodded.
“She told me you wanted me to leave. She said you were excited about the new baby and wanted me gone so you two could work things out.”
Paul stood abruptly and moved behind the couch where my mother sat, pacing back and forth as he ran both hands through his hair. “When was this?”
“That Friday after we were together. She came home and surprised me. About noon, I think.”
He whirled to face her, the fingers of his left hand flexing. “I hadn’t even spoken to Chloe at that time. I didn’t even know she’d come home from her trip.”
“So… you didn’t…”
“Shit,” Paul cursed, shaking out that same hand. “I never said that, Star. What else did she say?”
“Sh-she said you were only playing around with me, and I was a dumb girl for thinking a man like you would ever have a real relationship withthe help. Then she stuffed some money in my purse and said it was from you. I’d never felt so… cheap.”
I could hear Paul’s teeth grinding together. “That fucking bitch,” he snapped. “I wish she was still alive so I could strangle the life from her. She brought nothing but misery to everyone who knew her. She—”
He grunted and coughed a couple times, as if he were in pain. As soon as he clutched at his left shoulder, my medical training kicked in and I shot from my chair. “Paul, does your shoulder hurt?”
He sucked in a few breaths, very shallow ones, as I rounded the couch. “Just… probably… pulled something.” His hand slidto his chest, fingers working back and forth. “Just some… tightness.”