Page 50 of Rating the Book Boyfriend

“My client is a complete jackass,” I snap without preamble, earning me shocked looks from the other three.

“Riggs?” JoJo asks. “Because that’s surprising. He seemed so?—”

“Not Riggs. He’s…”Sweet? Kindhearted? Perfect?“Riggs isn’t the problem. It’s his girlfriend and her vague and unrealistic expectations.”

Ava’s eyes widen. “Ruh-roh. What happened?”

I begin a rambling account of my meeting with Lucinda. “First of all, I arrived right on time, and she was on the phone with her mother. She glanced at me and waved an imperioushand at the other chair like she was the queen granting a peon an audience. Then she stayed on the phone forfifteen minutes. And they weren’t even talking about anything important. Just stuff like which clothes they’re bringing on their Italy trip next year and gossip about some woman that goes to the same country club as them.”

“Fucking rude,” Gemma comments, a sneer lifting one corner of her perfectly painted lips.

“Yes!” I practically shout, jabbing my finger toward her on the screen. “So fucking rude. Anyway, when she finally decides to grace me with her attention, I get down to business and ask her why she enrolled Riggs in Book Boyfriend Builders.”

“What did she say?” JoJo asks, leaning her chin onto one palm.

“She gave me the wholeI want him to be swoonierbullshit, and I told her I was going to need something more specific. So then… THEN! She proceeds to call someone named Liz to get her opinion, and they low-key bash on Riggs for about ten minutes. They finally decide that he should buy her more expensive stuff and take her on more trips.”

My voice begins to rise as I really get fired up. “Oh, and she wants him to get rid of his dog, which is completely ridiculous because he’s the sweetest. Okay, Ace does like to chew on shoes, but other than that, he’s very well-behaved.”

“Wow,” Gemma says.

“Yeah, that’s about all I’ve got too,” Ava chimes in. “She really said she wants him to get rid of his pet?”

I nod, and JoJo’s jaw tightens. “That’s ridiculous, and materialistic shit is not what being a good boyfriend is all about. As far as gifts go, it’s more about the thoughtfulness, not the monetary value.”

“Speaking of that, she showed off the diamond earrings he bought her, and holy fuck, y’all! They were huge and had to be worth thousands.”

“The ones he brought her as a souvenir?” Ava asks, scrunching up her nose.

“Yup. Oh, and after she got off the phone with that Liz person, she got all smug and told me Liz was totallyjellyof her because Liz wanted to sign her boyfriend up for the BBB, but couldn’t because we don’t have anyone in Chicago.”

All my friends look disgusted as I continue. “I honestly think she just signed up Riggs to stick it to her… friend or whatever.” I roll my eyes so hard they hurt. “So meanwhile, I’m still trying to do my job, and I ask her about the anniversary trip. You know, since she said she wanted to travel more.”

“What anniversary trip?” Ava asks.

“Oh, he booked a surprise trip to goddamn Switzerland for their first anniversary, but he told me she couldn’t go because she already had plans. So I ask her about it, and do you want to know what those very important plans were?”

My friends nod in eager agreement, and I announce with much hand-flailing fanfare, “She was going clubbing with her friends.”

They all stare back at me in stunned silence.

“Anyway, I wanted to talk to y’all about it, but I really think we need to drop this client. What Lucinda Farina wants is the exact opposite of what the BBB is about.” It makes me sad to say that because it means I won’t get to see Riggs anymore.

“I agree,” Gemma says, nodding thoughtfully. “I don’t think we should offer a refund on what’s already been paid because you’ve put in the time working on this account. But we should definitely stop the billing going forward.”

The others agree, and we decide I’ll draft a message that our business dealings are now concluded.

“How is the move going?” Ava asks as we’re wrapping up.

“Great. I got the walls in the living room painted this week.” I move my head out of the way so they can see the fresh sky blue on my walls.

“That picture is beautiful,” JoJo remarks, pointing at the chair behind me, and I smile.

“Riggs gave it to me, along with some others he took.” Rising, I gather the pictures and hold them up one by one for the girls to admire. “I was going to hang them up later today.”

“Those are phenomenal,” Gemma breathes. “He could sell them.”

“I agree,” I call over my shoulder as I prop the pics against the chair again. My attention is drawn by a knock on the door. “Hold on a sec. That’s probably my Amazon order.”

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