Page 51 of Richard

And now, because of her indecision, her fear of commitment, she might just lose him. Why would a man like him, a man who was powerful and wealthy, a mover and shaker, a very attractive and virile man, why would he want to wait until she was over her past?

He had said he loved her and assured her that she was the first woman he had ever proposed to, the only woman he had ever been in love with. Why couldn’t she believe him and say yes?

Because she had been fooled before and had trusted her heart. Trevor had seemed so genuine; she had thought she was happy; she had been happy, excited about planning her wedding. And he had shown no indication that he wanted out.

He had been loving, and supportive and she had been fooled.

Afterward, she had questioned herself, her ability to read the signs, to notice that he had been pulling away from her. She had refused to admit that his interest had been waning, that she was the only one who was enthusiastic, the only one who was going all out with the invitations, the venue, the floral arrangements, and even the cakes tasting.

She had accepted his excuses when he told her he had to work late almost every night and squelched her suspicion when her sister made snide remarks about her eagerness.

She had ignored the signs, and it had been disastrous. Leaning back against the cushions, she closed her eyes. With Richard it would be even more tangible, even more visible. Because of who he was. Their lives would be fodder for every kind of gossip.

And that was what was mostly bothering her.

She found it difficult to believe that he could love someone like her.

The therapist had warned her about low self-esteem.

“You have spent most of your childhood being the second-best daughter. Your parents favored your younger sister, and you convinced yourself that you were okay with that. But deep down, you weren’t.

I suspect that you also convinced yourself that you were in love with Trevor when all you were doing was trying to find someone who loved you first.

You are going to have to try and love yourself first, tell yourself, keep repeating it, that you are worthy of love. Whenever you come to that realization, you will be on your way to being healed.”

Tears leaked from her eyes.

She could not convince herself that Richard McBride could love someone like her. That he would want to marry her. She was afraid that if she allowed herself to believe it, the time would come when he realized that she was gauche and inexperienced and completely out of his league, that he had made a mistake and that would destroy her.

But she had fallen in love with him. She had tried to convince herself that it was just the mind-blowing sex, but she loved him. He drew her out of her shell and made it easy for her to talk about her past. She mellowed beneath his melting gaze.

His touch sent her into a dizzy spin, and she was taken aback by his lovemaking. The way he made love to her completely.

Could she be pregnant? She wondered wistfully, her hands cradling her flat stomach. She had stopped hoping. After she had miscarried, she had resigned herself to being all alone. And she had gone off the pills. After Trevor, her romantic escapades had been uninteresting and lackluster. But Richard had changed that in the space of a week.

And he had not used anything. He had not even asked if she was on any form of protection.

If she was, in fact, carrying his baby, would that be something she wanted? She did not dare to hope. She was in her forties, and she was aware that the older a woman gets, the more dangerous it was to conceive. A baby? Oh, could God be giving her a second chance? Did she dare hope that her life was coming together?

But what if he was even now changing his mind? She had told him that she needed time, and he had barely spoken to her.

They had spent an entire weekend feeling the incredible bloom of his lovemaking and now she was alone in her room, yearning for a man she had just met. She had messed things up, and she knew instinctively that he was a man who did not give his affection lightly.

Biting down on her lips, she made a decision. Shoving out of the sofa, she hurried to get her phone out of her purse and sat on the edge of the bed as she contemplated what she was about to do.

Before she could change her mind, she scrolled to his number and waited with bated breath for him to answer.

“Collette?” His deep voice sent piercing heat throughout her body.

“You said I should call when I am willing to put my past behind me.”

He remained silent for a few seconds. “And?”

“And- and I– I want to–”She took a deep breath. “Richard, I need you. I don’t know how to go about doing a relationship, but–”She took another breath. “Could you come over? Or I could come to you,” she rushed to add.

“I am on my way.”

She sank back against the cushions and took several deep breaths. Suddenly, realizing that he should be here in half an hour galvanized her into action. She was a mess, and she was certain her eyes were puffy from crying. Shoving off the sofa, she rushed into the bathroom and took a quick shower.

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